Aftermath
by AnomalyA11
Summary: Begins after the end of season 5, with slight alterations. What would you do if they dead came back to life?
1. Chapter 1

It was cold. Too cold. The smell of winter was in the air. Deep breaths felt like sharp, jagger razors in the lungs. They hadn't seen any snow, but the chill of winter had arrived.

Sleepless nights, days full of fear; Clarke found herself sitting at the edge of her seat every second of every day. Hiding. Hunting. Scavenging from the remains of the dead corpses that played in the wake of a battle months ago. She hadn't found Madi, nor anyone else. She was beginning to wonder if they had all been killed. There was only so much green left on the planet; and she had roamed every inch of it.

For the first time in a long time, Clarke felt utterly alone. She had made camp on the far west outskirts of the only living piece of Earth. She had found a cave, the winded down into the ground for miles. She had been drawing on the walls with lime stone. White sketches colored the dark, black rock of her make shift home. Pictures of Madi, Bellamy, Octavia, her mother. Pictures of the landscape she had once had the pleasure of seeing when she first arrived on Earth. And today, she was drawing Polis.

The tower stood strong, surrounded by smaller buildings. The fire at the top of the tower blazing while multitudes of random faces walked and traded on the streets. The sky bursting with sunlight and showering joy down onto her sketch of a fading memory.

She wondered how Madi would be as a ruler if she had became Commander before Primfaya, and if it would have at all settler her fear. It was safer then. Not by much, but safer all the same. She could see Madi sitting on that thrown of wooden horns, continuing Lexa's legacy.

Her breath caught in her throat and she froze, disregarding her drawing completely. "Lexa," she whispered, so lowly that only an animal close by would have been able to hear it. Her heart felt like it was being squeezed. "Great," she said a little louder, rolling her eyes in a vein attempt to rid herself of the long hidden heart ache and pain. But it failed.

Now a different kind of terror was rising up in Clarke. This time, fear of her past instead of the possible future. She hadn't spent much time thinking of Lexa, or grieving her. There never was any time. And when she spent those years alone, she savagely pushing them away. She couldn't bare it.

Her pulse started to race and she began panting, her lungs collapsing in on themselves. She slid against the sharp rock wall and down to the ground, smudging her fresh picture un the process. She clawed at her shirt above her heart. Closing her eyes, she tried to take deep breaths and breathe happy thoughts. It worked momentarily, but the memories began to make her heave so much worse.

"They're all dead or gone," Clarke whispered to herself as her once pleasant memories turned into a horror show in her mind. She pulled her knees up to her chest and held them close. She hadn't felt this fragile, this weak, in so long. She began to cry. Slow tears ran down her cheeks, and very quickly her silent pleas turned into sobs. Her body was shaking from the emotions soaking her skin, finding there way to the deepest depths of her soul.

Clarke was so consumed by her pain, that she didn't her the footsteps approaching her, nor the voice that called her name. She continued to rock back and forth, crying and muttering nonsense that only made sense in her mind. She screamed when she felt a calm hand on her shoulder. When she looked up, all She saw was Lexa.

Clarke awoke screaming and gasping for breath. She panicked, backing herself up to the closest wall to take in her surroundings. Sitting there and Taking deep breaths, she noticed no one was around. She was in a small, makeshift cabin, a fire in the middle granting heat and light. She looked down at the ground where she had been laying and saw the furs that had apparently been wrapped around her. Confused, she reached for her knife that was hidden on the side of her pants. She slowly rose. When she took a step forward to try and take in a better view of her surroundings, the door burst open.

"Clarke?" Madi said, concern in her voice.

Clarke froze, not believing her eyes. It had been a year since she had last seen her. A year since she had been able to hold her daughter in her arms. A year of not knowing if Madi had been alive or dead. She dropped the knife, the metal clanking on the wooden floor. She slowly walked forward, stopping a few feet away from the girl she called daughter.

"Clarke," Madi said again, a smile forming on her bright, youthful face.

Clarke ran the last few steps and hugged Madi, squeezing as tightly as possible, fearing she disappeared. Madi hugged her back, a light hearted laugh escaping her lips. And suddenly, Clarke pulled away. She looked down at the young girl with a frown.

"Do you know how worried I've been?" Clarke said in a stern tone. "Ive been looking everywhere for you. I thought you were…" Clarke trailed off, refusing to cry again.

Madi smiled wider, understanding Clarkes heart and knowing her sudden sour mood was out of fear. She took Clarkes hand and squeezed it, looking at Clarke like a giddy child for the first time in years.

"Clarke," Madi said, "Please let me take you to Bellamy and Octavia. We can all have a long discussion."

Clarke froze. "They're alive," she thought. She shook her head and didn't say another word. Madi turned and Clarke followed her out of the hut. When she walked outside, she was greeted by the extreme chill of winter and bright sunlight. She looked around and stopped in her tracks, not believing what she saw.

There were dozens of small make shift huts. People were working, training, creating and repairing weapons and armor. The new, small village was surrounded by trees. The faces around her were laughing or concentrated on their tasks. There were no tears, there was no sadness, and they seemed to be living new productive lives.

"Come on," Madi said, and Clarke began to move again.

The pair reached a hut the seemed to sit almost directly across the one she had been in by fifty feet. They walked through the door and were greeted by with smiling faces from Bellamy and Octavia. Even Indra gave her a slight smile and a nod.

"What in the hell…" Clarke trailed off, not believing her own eyes.

"You'd think she'd be happy to see us," Octavia uttered sarcastically, looking at her brother.

"When's the last time you saw Clarke bounce up and down for join?" Bellamy said more as a statement then a question, crossing his arms over his chest.

"How long have you been here?" Clarke questioned, straight to the point as usual.

"A few months," Madi stated.

"How have you been surviving?" Clarke asked.

"The same way we always have since we got here," Bellamy answered.

"And since when are you two and Octavia on each others good sides?" Clarke asked.

"Since I realized how much of an asshole I am," Octavia said seriously.

Clarke contemplated their answers, trying to allow the simple statements to sink in. They had ll been alive and trying to rebuild things that had been lost. It made Clarke slightly smile. But she frowned when a whirl of anger and betrayal washed over her. "Ive bene looking for you for over a year," she stated, her boiling gaze shooting at everyone else in the room.

"And we've been looking for you," Madi said quietly, her eyes meeting Clarkes and revealing sadness. "We all thought you had been killed or captured."

"How have you gone unnoticed?" Clarke asked, her anger dissipating.

"Because this psychos have been too busy trying to kill each other off for the past 6 months," Bellamy said. "They're too busy fighting over who should be king of all the land. Its given us time to build our defenses and the small shit town."

"And there's something else," Madi added, her voice becoming stoic and serious. "At the edge of the forest, you can her sounds coming from the wasteland."

"Sounds?" Clarke questioned, annoyance in her voice. "What kind of sounds."

"Metal clanking, screams, cheers, humming, a noise I've never heard in my life, and sometimes even music," Octavia said as she leaned against a table behind her.

"And the ground is starting to shake. It comes from the wasteland and continues past our village, like a wave," Indra said, finally speaking.

"That could just be an earthquake," Clarke stated matter of factly.

"It only happens when that strange noise happens," Octavia said.

Clarke paused to think it through. In the middle of her thoughts, she felt the ground begin to slightly shake. She looked in disbelief and confusion at her feet. She looked up to her friends and saw them bracing themselves, preparing for what was apparently to come. The shaking became stronger and more violent with each passing second. Suddenly a loud ringing screeched through the air at multiple octaves and the ground shook hard a furiously. It only lasted for a breathe and then continued on, the ground slowly shaking less and less.

Clarke looked at her friends again, waiting for an explanation, a statement, anything. She hadn't felt this happen anywhere she had traveled the past year. She trie to think of every logical reason she knew to explain the occurrence and found nothing in her mind.

"Thats the second one today…" Bellamy trailed off, looking at his sister and then Indra, the worry on his face seeping out.

"Is that not normal?" Clarke asked, still trying to come up with an answer in her thoughts for what was happening.

"No," Madi stated. "At first, they happened every once in a while. But now, thats the third day in a row. And its never happened more than once a day." Madi stared off in thought, her face mirroring Clarkes. "I have to go check on my people," She said, suddenly. "I'll be right back." She quickly burst out of the tent.

As soon as Clarke went to open her mouth, she stopped mid breath. "What is that?" She thought, hearing a rhythmic melody. She walked out of the hut and found she wasn't the only one stopping to listen. Everyone in the small village was looking around the area and to the sky, trying to pin point what was making a disturbance through the breeze. It became louder and louder, slowly approaching in a manner a predator stalks its pray.

Suddenly, a drone appeared over the village. It was shouting loud songs of the past and flying playfully over head, like a butterfly coming out to play. Clarke locked on to it, walking toward it as the drone slowly lowered its self closer and closer to the ground. When she was a foot away, the drone shot back up in to the air and took off west. Instinctively, Clarke chased it, ignoring the shouts and concerns of the people around her.

"I have to know," was all Clarke thought over and over and she pursued the machine. She didn't know for how long she had been running. She did know her lungs felt like they were going to explode. She had chased the machine out of the forest and across the wasteland for miles.

Suddenly she stopped, shocked at the sight ahead of her. "Green," Clarke though in awe. Ahead of her was an outland of trees and grass that seemed to stretch for miles horizontally. She heaved as she stood there in shock. She shook her head and slapped her face, hopping the oasis would disappear from her thoughts. But when she looked again, it was still there.

Somehow renewed with energy, she began running faster than she ever had in her life. "I have to know," she though again, pushing her body further. It didn't take long for her to reach the new patch of green. She ran a about a mile in before stopping, amazed that the land kept stretching in every direction.

Clarke collapsed onto the ground, her back hitting the dirt. She breathed deeply and tried to soothe her nerves. Eventually she began to laugh, unsure of why. As her laughter died down, she heard music again. It was close, so close. She dragged herself up off of the ground and began waking toward the pulsing sound. Suddenly, it stopped. Clarke froze, fearing she had been caught, strap laid out for her that she took the bait willingly for.

After a few minutes of silence, she suddenly heard the sound of a piano mixed with something else. A voice began to sing. Clarke was running at full pace again. "People," Clarke thought. She jumped across ditches and logs, never missing a step. The music was loud now, consuming her being. She halted suddenly, noticing a clearing ahead of the treeline.

She crouched down and stalked toward the edge. She gasped at what she saw. People, singing and dancing. "They're having a fucking party,' Clarke thought in agitation. "I ran all the fucking way out here…" She trailed of in her thoughts when something caught her eye.

"It cant be," Clarke said out laid, once again not believing her own eyes. She stared, zoning in on the familiar form. Watching as it walked, its body language. And as the figure turned, Clarkes heart stopped. "Its not possible," She said as she collapsed on to the ground. "This is a dream, a fucking horrible dream!" She whispered in furry before passing out.


	2. Chapter 2

Clarke was awoken by a a hand covering her mouth. Her eyes shot open and before she shot up, she saw Madi's face. Made was holding a finger over her lips, signaling for Clarke to keep quiet.

Clarke slowly sat up, realizing it wasn't just Madi beside her. Bellamy, Octavia and Indra were crouched down in the bushes as well, keeping an eye on the group of people ahead. Clarke looking into the clearing again, frantically searching for the face she saw earlier. It was nowhere to be found. Instead she was met with face of random grounders, all enjoying themselves. They were eating and talking, dancing to the loud music. Behind the group of people, there was a tall metal door, sticking out of the ground. Its wide doors were open as people flowed in an out.

"How many do you think there are?" Octavia whispered, looking back and forth between Indra and Bellamy.

"They clearly wanted to be found," Indra stated lowly, intently keeping a watch on the group.

Madi turned to face the clearing as well after seeing Clarke had calmed down. "We should approach them," she said.

"Are you out of your mind?" Bellamy asked. "You have no idea who they are, what they're capable of or why they wanted to be found. For all we know, its a trap."

"I don't think so," Madi stated with assurance. "I believe they know we're here, and they haven't approached." Madi nodded toward a woman who kept looking in their direction.

She was tall for a woman, and slightly muscular. Her face wore a bright smile as she conversed with an even taller man. She snatched at the side of her shave head, and then slapped at her braids on top, laughing hard, seemingly making fun of herself. She wasn't wearing any armor and didn't carry a weapon, as far as the group could see. She wore a white shirt, black pants and some simple commando boots. She looked over at their direction, smiling wider, seeming to make eye contact with Madi.

Clarke watched carefully and became a bit fearful. She was concerned for Madi. "I'm a little leery, but I think Madi's right," she said. "I'm going to walk down there, you all stay here. They don't need to know theres more than one of us."

"I think she knows," Madi said, nodding toward the women who kept glancing in their direction.

"We don't know for sure," Clarke combatted. "Either way, I'm going down there, and you three will stay here. If something happens, or if it appears safe, I"ll signal for you to come down."

There was a long pause between the group. Madi didn't want Clarke to go down on her own. She felt she should be there to protect her. And since she was the commander, she also felt it was her responsibility.

"I agree with Clarke," Indra stated.

"I'm going with you," Madi said.

"Absolutely not!" Clarke rose her voice in protest, anger building up her, coming from her need to protect the girl.

"You have no option," Madi said as she quickly rose and jumped down into the clearing.

Clarke quickly followed, planning on catching the girl, but it was too late. They were spotted by the group. Suddenly the music lowered, and the tall woman smiled wide again, slowly approaching the pair, arms raised in a show or surrender.

"I was wondering if you were going to join us," the woman said, still slowly approaching. Madi walked forward quickly, and stopped within three feet of the strange woman. Clarke quickly followed, agitated at Madi's reckless behavior. "I'm Charlie," the woman stated, "and I'm so very happy to meet the two of you. The great Wannheda and her daughter, the Commander. I've been watching the two of you a while."

"Watching?" Clarke asked, her voice raising in anger.

"And there's that famous temper I've heard about," Charlie said with a slight laugh, smiling once more. "Yes, watching, with the drones or sometimes up close. Staying out of sight of course. I'm very fascinated by the two of you. So fearless and yet so loving, passionate and brave, never backing down, even if you should. And somehow always surviving, and usually defeating the odds. I couldn't write a better story if I tried."

"How long have you been watching?" Madi questioned calmly.

"The two of you, for years," Charlie stated. "And I've been watching Clarke and her friends almost since they landed."

"Who are you?" Clarke demanded.

"I'm pretty sure I introduced myself," Charlie said sarcastically.

"You know damn well what I mean!" Clarke pushed, shouting.

"Well, I guess you could call me a relic," Charlie began. "I was born fifty decades before the bombs fell. Shortly before they fell, I was trapped into this bunker, frozen. I only awoke probably about 30 years ago. But once again, I was locked down un that bunker until recently. My fellows and on have been celebrating for weeks. We're free."

"That's not possible," Clarke stated, staring down the woman.

"Its very possible, I'm living proof," Charlie stated smugly as she grinned and put her arms across her chest. "You simply have no idea of what was going on in the world before the bombs fell. Becca and her colleagues where a part of some serious experiments, for the government and just out of plain curiosity. I'm a product of those experiments." Charlie paused, her face growing serious and cold for the first time. "Becca's mother was the one who made me in to what I am."

"I don't believe you," Clarke stated, her head reeling. She had learned a lot of unknowns since her years on Earth. Things she never thought possible. Surprising things. Gruesome things. She felt the woman was telling the truth. She showed no signs that she might be lying. But Clarke just couldn't believe it.

"I believe her," Madi said calmly. "Becca is telling me it's true. Urging me to trust her." Madi closed her eyes for a moment. "She keeps trying to show me something, a memory, but its hazy."

"I need proof," Clarke stated coldly.

"I'm more than willing to show it to you," Charlie stated, smiling once more. "But you'd have to come in to the bunker. Which means you'd have to take a leap of faith and trust me. I'm doubtful you'll do so."

Clarke paused, thinking her options through. She was so lost in thought, she hadn't heard Indra and Bellamy approach, standing close behind her. No did she hear the group of warriors that stopped and waited behind the treeline.

"Clarke, lets go in," Madi said warmly. "I don't believe we have anything to fear from her. Becca keeps sending me feelings of joy every time I look upon this woman's face."

Clarke sighed angrily. She couldn't deny her curiosity was getting the better of her. She pondered momentarily, now having realized she had a small army behind her. "Alright," Clarke agreed. "Madi, Bellamy and I will head inside with you. But I swear to God, I will slit you ear to ear if you try and pull anything."

"I believe it," Charlie said with a slight laugh. "well, follow me."

Clarke and Bellamy slowly followed behind Madi, who seemed to be unphased by their situation. As they walked through the giant metal doors and down flight of metal stairs, they took in their surrounding. It was similar to mount weather, but more advanced. The walls seemed to be made of a slick and shiny material, something none of the three had seen in their entire lives It was tinted with blue and looked extremely smooth to the touch. Clarke reached on to skim her fingers along the wall as she continued her descent. Her eyebrows raised at the warmth radiating from the wall.

The group finally settled on the first floor. Charlie suddenly stopped and turned, a smile still gracing her face. "So, before we head into that room down the hall," Charlie started, "I need you guys to remember to try and not freak out. You're going to see things that will probably startle and confuse you. You'll have access to all the information you want in that room; its an archive. But you still may be shocked, so please do your best to remain calm." Charlie turned back around and began walking again. Madi instantly followed, extremely intrigued and almost excited.

Clarke and Bellamy looked at each other hesitantly, eyeing the woman in front of them with daggers. The pair pulled out the guns, cocked and loaded, and continued to walk down the hall.

"Welcome!" Charlie said, excitedly, flying the doors open.

The group of three slowly walked in. Clarke and Bellamy with their guns slightly raised, expecting the worst. All three froze when they took in their surroundings. The room went levels into the ground, they could see it stretch for at least a mile forward. Every inch was covered with screens, computers, chairs, books and machines holding over trillions of data.

Clarke and Bellamy lowered their guns. As Clarke turned to her left she froze, her heart stopping in her chest. She suddenly dropped her gun, as gasp escaping her lips as her eyes went wide. Madi and Bellamy looked over to see what had startled her. They too froze, not believing what they were seeing.

In the far corner to the left stood a woman, leaning against a table. Her long brown hair slightly falling in her face as she was looking down at a book she held in her hands. The woman suddenly realized she wasn't alone and turned to face the group. She gave a puzzled look and slowly sat her book down on the table behind her. She began to walk over, every step echoing in Clarkes woman stopped feet away from Clarke. Her green eyes were staring intensely at the woman in front of her, filled with confusion, curiosity, and something undesirable. She took in a deep breath, not being able to tear her eyes away from the blue ones in front of her. "Clarke?" The woman asked.

Clarke slowly approached the woman. She reached up and touched her face, trying to make sure it wasn't an illusion. She ran her hand down the woman's neck and stopped above her heart. The woman was real. That or Clarke was slowly going insane. Clarkes mouth went dry as she stared at her hand on the woman's chest, feeling her heart face beneath her palm. She looked up into deep green eyes agin, seeing an emotion that she hadn't felt in years. Clarkes breathing became shaky as she whispered, "Lexa."

Lexa still starred, confused and feeling a longing for something she didn't understand. She felt something for the woman in front of her, something deep and wild, yet calming. She could recall feeling it before, but that was all. She knew that she knew the woman in front of her, but she couldn't remember a thing.

Lexa blinked and looked over at Charlie with a confused and surprised expression. Charlie was smiling widely, containing a laugh as she watched the interaction. "Do you remember her?" Charlie asked, hope laced in her voice.

Lexa looked back down into Clarkes eyes. Clarke looked confused and scared, yet calm. "I remember her name," Lexa whispered, not being able to tear her eyes away from Clarke's. "I remember feelings…" She trailed off. "But no memories." Lexa swallowed hard as she realized Clarkes hand was still sitting above her heart, pushing on her chest.

Clarke suddenly removed her hand and grabbed Charlie fiercely by the collar of her shirt. Everyone else in the room watched her with confusion. "How is this possible?!" Clarke yelled. "And what did you do to her."

Charlie stared at her with a surprised look, not an ounce of fear on her face or in her eyes. "I saved her," she stated. "And sometimes, when you bring someone back from the dead, they lose something. In Lexa's case, her memories. I told you Clarke, to try and be calm. I also stated that you could find any answer you could possibly want in this room."

Clarke grabber Charlie's collar tighter. Rage and confusion were building up inside her. She wanted a direct answer and she wanted it now. Suddenly, a hand was placed gently in her shoulder. Clarke turned to find Lexa, a look of concern spread across the woman's face. "Clarke," Lexa said lowly, "It's alright. You have nothing to fear. I promise you." Sincerity dripped in Lexa's voice and slowly, Clarke released her death grip on Charlie's shirt. She turned to face Lexa, barely believing what she was seeing once more.

"I know it's a lot to take in," Charlie started, "But I promised you answers and I will give them to you. I don't go back on my work Clarke."

"Show me everything," Clarke said lowly, still losing herself in a field of intense green.


	3. Chapter 3

It had been months since Clarke saw Lexa down in that archive room. Thoughts and questions were still reeling through her head, even though she had gotten every answer should could have imagined and more.

It was Charlie's DNA that had brought Lexa back; her bone marrow and blood. Clarke had cringed when she heard of the method used; it reminded her too much of Mount Weather, and her friends who were long lost. And that wasn't all, Charlie wasn't lying about there being an experiments.

Clarke had combed through the archives and data, along with Raven, eighteen hours of every day for the past several months. From what she had seen and learned, there were more fascinating, horrific miracles that their ancestors had created.

After reading Charlie's private files from the past, Clarke had questioned her, wanting to know more about the woman on a personal level. She had no idea why. The only reason that had crossed her mind was that she noticed how close Charlie and Lexa were, and she wanted to know more about the woman. Wanted to break down every fiber of her to figure her out. She wanted to know if this was all a game and potentially what Lexa and Charlie were to each other. Jealousy had been growing in Clarke at the sight of how close the two women actually were, and it had started driving her a little insane.

Lexa and Charlie were always talking and laughing together; or at least it appeared that way to Clarke. The pair ate together, trained together, even slept in adjacent rooms of one another. They meditated and prayed in the morning together and at night. The sight of Lexa praying on her knees had throw Clarke off.

And yet, with all the jealousy and suspicion that had built up inside of Clarke, she never did anything about it. She pushed it down, deeper and deeper, trying to force it away. She avoided close contact with Lexa and yet watched her like a hawk from afar. Lexa had approached her several times, trying to start a conversation and seemingly trying to spend time with her, and Clarke always found a reason for why she had to be somewhere else.

It was extremely confusing for Clarke. A huge part of her wanted to spend all her time getting to relearn the woman that clearly still captivated her soul and held her heart. But the other part of her was angry, confused, full or betrayal and remorse. Guilt overflowed in her. So many of her friends and people had been slaughtered, so much tragedy and pain had taken place, and yet all she found herself wanting to do was spend time with Madi, and with Lexa.

Clarke's self judgement had been eating her alive. Who she should be, what she should be doing and feeling, according to her mind, was also adding to her insanity. Lexa had noticed Clarke's spiral or emotions. She kept trying to talk to the woman, but it only ever ended in some form of rejection. It wasn't personal, Lexa could tell. But all of her being wanted to soothe Clarke, to carry her pains and burdens away. It petrified her considering she had no recollection of her supposed ex lover.

On this day, Clarke had been running around for hours. She had started to notice the lush green around them slowly dying. A habit had formed of observing and taking notes of the dying life in between her research with Raven. She had brought Monty's attention to the situation, and he had been studying it aggressively.

But today, Clarke was running around more out of frustration than anything else. She was becoming restless. Every day was a fight with her emotions. Every night, there came a longing she didn't dare acknowledge. She snapped, deciding she would confront Lexa and Charlie with every single question she had. Furiously, she ran to the bunker and down the stairs, until she was 15 floors down. Continuing to run until she reached the door she was searching for; Lexa's room. Clarke slammed open the door, finding Lexa and Charlie sitting on opposite sides of a small metal table. The pair were clearly having a deep discussion, but in this moment, Clarke could care less.

"How can you do it?" Clarke demanded more than asked, her breathing jagged and gasping.

"Do what?" Charlie asked, moving to the side of her chair so she could see Clarke more clearly.

"I understand the procedure you did to Lexa," Clarke continued, her breath becoming more steady. "But it doesn't give any explanation as to how its possible, or how your body changed to be able to do such a thing."

"Clarke, sit down," Charlie said, gesturing to a chair next to Lexa. "Please, before you pass out. And besides, it'll be a good few minutes of an explanation."

Clarke glared at Charle and then rolled her eyes. Slowly, she walked over to the chair and sat down. She swallowed hard, trying to ignore her body's reaction to being a few inches away from Lexa. Lexa starred at Clarke momentarily, feeling something that was foreign but so familiar. She too swallowed hard and returned her gaze to Charlie.

Charlie almost laughed hysterically at the two but managed to restrain it. Clearing her throat, she began to speak, "My parents both worked in top secret programs. Mainly the ones that involved alien life, space travel, mutations and gene therapy. My father was a high ranking military official in his department. My mother was the top scientist, engineer, and gene therapist in the same program. They had been working on different forms of advancement for the United States. One of those things, was mutating a human's DNA," Charlie paused, a look crossing her face that was a mixture of disgust, remorse and pain. "Anyway, they met and fell in love, blah, blah, blah. A few years in my mother became pregnant with me and my twin brother; Jeremiah. Her best friend, Becca's mother, started treating my brother and I, in the womb, for some supposed horrific mutation that was caused by the un Earthly materials my parents were around all of the time. My parents never questioned it, considering who was giving them the information. Becca's mother, Sara, was actually mutating our genes. We were the first born with black blood. We were the first of our kind; mutes as they use to call it," Charlie said mutes with disgust, like she had eaten something extremely sour. Clarke looked at her, curious about the term, and Charlie began to explain. "Mutes are short for mutants. But because it was considered to be an unnatural mutation, it was turned into a racist slur by the common folk. Anyway, my brother and I were "treated" our entire lives for this disease. Every time we came home from the doctor, something horrible would happen to one of us; seizures, delusions, excruciating pain for no reason, randomly passing out and not waking up for days. Are parents were petrified we were slowly dying, but really, my brother and I, were slowly transforming in front of there eyes."

Charlie paused for a long moment, looking as if she was about to cry. She cleared her throat and started up once more. "By the time my brother and I were fifth teen, we began to develop attributes that were not considered normal. Our DNA had been altered so drastically, that it opened our minds. We went from using ten percent of our brains to thirty within a few years. It caused are bodies to change more rapidly than before. For me, I could all of a sudden punch through walls, move faster, create barriers around myself from molecules. For my brother, his mind kept expanding. His body though, began to deteriorate. He needed bone marrow and I was the only match. After the procedure, something miraculous seemed to happen. Not only did he survive, but his body began to heal at an unprecedented rate. He was out of the hospital in a few days, and in the best shape of his life. After that, the doctors began to experiment more on me; curious as to what my DNA could do to anyone. I became a lab rat after that. It's how I ended up in this top secret bunker. They froze me and moved me here. I guess they were hoping to be able to use more of me."

Clarke processed what was being told to her. She had read about these experiments in her time she had recently spent coming through classified data. There were no names or pictures of faces in the files though; just case numbers. Clarke believed Charlie, and suddenly she was filed with sorrow and pity for the woman in front of her. It must have been all over her face, because Charlie got slightly agitated and coldly stated, "Please don't pity me. I can't stand it. Whats done is done, and nothing can be changed about the past."

"Why did your parents never do anything?" Clarke asked, the pity removed but the sorrowful feelings for the woman in front of her still there.

"They tried…" Charlie trailed off, a sad face forming over her normally happy features. "They found out, tried to stop it, and were murdered. So when my brother and I turned twelve, we were erased from history and became government property."

Clarke suddenly looked up in shock to her right at Lexa. Lexa had placed her hand on her thigh and lightly squeezed, giving her a reassuring smile. "It is true, Clarke. I could not believe anything when I first awoke. Especially since I had years of my memory missing. But I searched through everything I could for months, and I only found truth in what Charlie had told me. And besides, she is a horrible liar," Lexa said with a small smile and a light laugh, making Clarke's heart suddenly race. "You will see, Clarke. When she is lying, you can tell right from the start."

"Hey!" Charlie lightly protested with a smile, laughing at the truth in Lexa's words. The laughing woman suddenly rose, startling the other two in the room. Charlie looked nervous and contemplative, clearly mulling something over. "So ladies," Charlie said as she clapped her hands together, "I've been noticing you haven't been talking. Tell ya what, I'm going to lock you both in here for an hour and we'll see what happens."

Both Clarke and Lexa's eyes shot wide. Before they knew it, Charlie had slammed the door shut. A loud thud was heard as it locked.

They sat still, scared, nervous and not knowing what to do with themselves. When Clarke's mind settled down, her breathing hitched when she noticed Lexa's hand was still squeezing her thigh. Lexa noticed the change in Clarke instantly and followed where Clarke was staring. Immediately, Lexa pulled her hand away, worried she had hurt the woman. "Clarke, did I hurt you?" She asked with all sincerity.

Clarke closed her eyes, agitated at how good it sounded to hear her name coming out of Lexa's lips. Taking a deep breathe in, she slid her hands up and down her thighs. She finally looked over at Lexa's worried face and couldn't help the small smile that spread up on her lips. "Why do you always do that?"

"Do what?" Lexa asked, clearly confused.

"You always go out of your way to say my name,' Clarke said, intensely watching Lexa's every reaction. She wasn't used to the woman giving herself away through facial expressions, and she was soaking them all in. Her eyes still said it all, but Clarke had never seen all of the different movements of muscles in the woman's face before; save for once.

"I don't know," Lexa whispered before looking down at the ground. "I believe I just like to say your name, Klarke."

There it was, that hard K in her name. It drove Clarke wild and sent butterflies through her stomach. Clarke began to feel weak and stupid; the last thing she should be doing right now is acting like a giddy school girl. "And why is that?" Clarke asked with a smirk, adjusting herself in her seat to face Lexa more, despite her mind yelling at her.

Clarke's knee grazed Lexa's leg, causing Lexa to slightly gasp. She looked in to darkened, mischievous blue eyes and stared back with intensity. Lexa didn't know why she liked to say the blonde's name. She didn't know why she felt so draw to her, or why she dreamt and thought of her in ways she could never recall doing with anyone before. She didn't know; but she felt.

"I'm going to be honest with you, Clarke," Lexa started, now turning in her chair to be face to face with the other woman, there legs becoming slightly tangled. "I don't remember you. I don't remember one single conversation. But I feel…. I feel for you." Lexa paused, watching Clarke carefully for a negative reaction. "I have an urge to speak with you all of the time. I look for you every day. I think about you every night. And I… I have this burning desire to know you, Klarke."

Clarke's mouth was slightly open and her heart was racing. This was all too much. Finding out Lexa was alive but had no recollection of her, and now hearing that potentially that flame was still there. Clarke felt the same, but she didn't know what to do or how to react. It was too much and not enough all at once. She took a jagged breath in, amazed at how open Lexa was being so quickly. She had never known this woman in front of her. She had felt and seen bits and pieces of this, but never experienced this kind of vulnerability with Lexa; not until right before she died. Clarke wondered if this was how Lexa could have been if she had never became Commander.

"Lexa," Clarke began, taking in this moment with everything she was, "I want to talk to you. I want to get to know you. It's just hard. Ive had experiences with you. I have memories. I don't know how to handle all of this."

Clarke looked down at her hands that were sitting in her lap. She gasped in pleasure when she saw and felt Lexa's hand squeeze hers and stay in place. Clarke looked up into green eyes that still spoke so many emotions at once in silence. For the first time, Clarke began to accept that the woman in front of her was her once upon a time lover.

"I do not expect this to be easy for you, or for me," Lexa said with a warm, sad smile. "I get frustrated. I feel all of these emotions I do not understand every time I look at you or think about you. I may not remember things, but I remember feelings. I remember feeling you, and I remember you feeling me, Clarke." Clarke blushed lightly at the last statement, wondering exactly what the brown haired beauty meant by that. "I want to get to know you. And I would like for you to get to know me. Would you be willing to try it?"

Lexa stilled and waited for an answer, staring in to blue eyes that held the ocean and the sky. After a few moments, Clarke nodded and smiled. She finally squeezed Lexa's hand back and whispered, "I would like to do that very much, Leska." And when Clarke looked up, she noticed the affect of how she had said the other woman's name.


	4. Chapter 4

Lexa had been watching Clarke all day. It was the first time in a week she had been within twenty feet of her. Since her conversation with Clarke, not much had changed. Clarke no longer avoided her; she would smile and wave, and not try and run away. It was Lexa now who didn't have the time. She hadn't been avoiding the woman she found so captivating and appealing. On the contrary, she had been looking for Clarke around every corner. She just hadn't had the time or the opportunity.

Her and Charlie had been together all week, constantly. The Earth was slowly decaying. Charlie was going over plans, theories and trying to come up with a possible solution. Lexa had been there listening, discussing, for moral support. Charlie had become her best friend, and normally she was more than happy to help. But lately, Charlie had been getting in the way of Lexa potentially spending time with Clarke. And for the first time, Lexa found herself resenting Charlie.

Lexa didn't understand. One look at Clarke, and she would come undone in every way seemingly possible. It frustrated her. Not the attraction, not the feelings, but having the knowledge that they were once together and that she couldn't remember a thing agitated Lexa. She was trying so hard, harder than she had before, but it was no use; she could not remember anything after she became Commander. She remembered everything else crystal clear, right up to the moment before she had taken the flame. Everything after was a black hole. Years of her life were missing, important, special things. She longed for those; for memories of Clarke. But she was also grateful. She had no memories of the horrors she had heard that had occurred while she was Commander. She had heard how cold and closed off she had become. And she heard how somehow Clarke ignited her heart, changing her for the better- at least, according to Charlie.

As Lexa was lost in thought, she didn't notice the foot steps drawing closer and closer. She snapped out of her haze when she felt a warm hand touch her exposed arm. She blinked and her vision cleared. She found Clarke standing in front of her with a warm welcoming smile.

"Why haven't you joined?" Clarke asked, lightly squeezing the arm she held in her hand.

Lexa swallowed hard at the contact. As she spoke, a slight stutter accompanied her words, "Jo-Joined what?"

Clarke's smile widened at the woman in front of her. This wasn't the same woman she had known, not entirely Seeing this entire new side in Lexa was warming her heart and entrancing her. "You've been watching Madi and I for hours," Clarke said, maintaining eye contact. "All day almost. And you haven't even come over and said hello. I thought we were supposed to be getting to know each other?"

Lexa slightly readjusting her footing and slightly bit down on her bottom lip, becoming lost in bright, teasing blue eyes. "I did not want to interrupt, Clarke. You and the Commander seemed to be enjoying your time together. It would be selfish of me to interrupt your time with your daughter."

It felt extremely off to hear Lexa call someone else 'Commander' and it sent Clarke into a slight daze for a moment. She quickly snapped out of and her features began to express a calm understanding look. "Madi and I have been waiting for you to interrupt us."

"Did I used to be so rude?" Lexa questioned, appalled with herself.

"Occasionally," Clarke teased. "But you were the Commander. It wasn't interrupting. And as far as I go, you gave me my space… most of the time."

"So I just did as I pleased?" Lexa more so stated then a questioned, a little disappointed in herself.

"Were you not always like that?"

"No!" Lexa slightly shouted, appalled. "I was always taught to be respectful of others, Clarke. Even if I did not believe they deserved it."

"Who taught you that?" Clarke quickly asked, eager to take advantage of this new open Lexa in front of her.

"My parents."

"What were they like?" Clarke continued, her smile growing wide.

"My mother was a warrior. My father was a blacksmith. He had been a warrior, but he gained an injury to his leg that prevented him from ever stepping foot on a battlefield again." Lexa smiled fondly at the memories flooding her mind of her childhood before she continued. "They were loving, honorable. They always spoke the truth. I believe the only time I witnessed them lying was when they found out I was a nightbleeda. They did not want me to be forced in to anything."

"Your parents didn't agree?" Clarke asked, slightly shocked.

"My parents always believed in the flame, the spirit of the Commander and how it was chosen. They just were hesitant when it came to their only child. They told me that if I did not want to go, we could run."

"But you didn't."

"No," Lexa smiled a bit sadly but proud. "I told them that if it was my fate to be Commander, then I would face it. And if it was not, then I would meet my fate regardless. That I would not hide or run. I would face the trials placed before me and do my best until the end."

"Why does that not surprise me," Clarke said almost sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

Lexa observed her reaction and stared at her quizzically. "Why do you say that, Klarke?"

Clarke slightly shivered but did not allow her face to change. But she knew the brunette could see it in her eyes. She cleared her throat to avoid the feelings daring to bubble up from within her. "For as long as I've known you, you've never backed down from a challenge. You've always done what you thought was right for you and your people. You've always stared in the face of death and mocked it with a smile. Brave and sometimes arrogant, Lexa."

"That's good to know…" Lexa trailed off suddenly lost in thought. "I was told I abandoned you at one point."

Clarke froze momentarily, not knowing how to respond. "You did what you thought was right for your people. I would have done the same. It hurt me on a personal level. But I forgave you a long time ago for that."

Lexa looked at Clarke seriously and slowly reached her hand out to Clarkes. She gently ran her finger down the side of Clarke's hand and her mouth slightly opened. Lexa had no idea why she was doing it, but she felt as though she couldn't control herself, nor did she want to try and fight it. "Then I was a rude fool."

Clarke would have laughed if she wasn't slowly being driven mad by the simple touch Lexa was ministrations on her hand. She took a deep breath and began to touch the brunette's fingeres with her own. "You made a decision with your logic instead of listening to emotions."

"You're just reassuring me of the fact that I was a fool," Lexa said lowly, watching their fingers dance and play as her breathing became a bit heavier. "If I did not choose you, if I did not choose love, then I was the fool." Clarke's heart skipped a beat and her eyes widened, not knowing how to respond. "Love is what gives us all strength. If we did not have love, we would not fight or live so passionately. We would not strive for greater things. We would be empty and all would be meaningless. Love is the greatest strength of all. Love can save you in a moment of certain death. Love will always change a life for the better. Love is all that matters. I have always believed that." Lexa finally looked up into Clarkes eyes, finding amazement, shock and something she couldn't pinpoint. She swallowed a lump in her throat and continued. "I was raised in love. I was taught love. I shared love, with all things. If I chose duty and honor over love, then I was never choosing those things to begin with. I was probably afraid and did not know what else to do. If I left you Klarke, I was a fearful fool."

Clarke was stunned. Her breathing was heavy and laced with so many different emotions. This was not the woman she knew; she was but she wasn't. Lexa was still strong. She was still calm and collected, still a force to be reckoned with. And Clarke had noticed that she could still hide her emotions well if she chose to. But what she had just witnessed, the forwardness and the affection. The word 'love' leaving the brunettes voice more in one minute then in the entire time she had known her, it had left her dazed and confused.

Before Clarke could react, Madi approached. Lexa slowly pulled her hand away from Clarke's and looked slightly down at the young woman. Madi smiled at Lexa and then looked over at Clarke, confused.

"Clarke?" Madi questioned.

Clarke instantly snapped out of her daze and looked down and smiled. "Hey, Madi."

"Are you alright?" Madi asked, concern creased into her brow.

"Yes," Clarke smile reassuringly; but Madi knew better. "I'm just a bit startled."

"Alright," Madi said, relenting for the moment. She looked back at Lexa and found the woman still looking at her, seemingly waiting. "Do you remember what we talked about the other day?"

Lexa suddenly frowned. "No." Is all she said.

"Why are you being so stubborn?" Madi demanded.

"I will not do it," Lexa said more sternly as she turned and began to walk away from the clearing toward the forest.

Madi followed and Clarke followed behind her, wanting to know more. "Why are you being so stubborn?" Madi repeated as she caught up to Lexa.

"It is my choice and I said no."

"But it could help you, help all of us," Madi pleaded.

"I will not, Madi," Lexa said as she stopped, staring off into the trees in front of her.

"You won't what?" Clarke asked.

"Madi wishes me to undergo a procedure…" Lexa trailed off, still staring at a nothingness of green.

Clarke looked at Madi expectantly, waiting for an explanation. "It would give her her memory back," Madi said. "And she keeps refusing!"

"Tell her why, Madi," Lexa said calmly as she turned around to face the two, arms locked behind her back. Her face stone and in a seemingly blank stare at the young woman infront of her. She was looking like the Commander Clarke use to know now.

Madi stayed silent, debating on dropping the subject. But it was too late, Clarke was already aware. Madi took a deep breathe and looked at Clarke nervously. "Lexa and I would be hooked up to a machine and the flame would be accessed while still within me. Whatever of her that's left in there would then be given back to her."

Clarke was still confused. "And why is that such an issue?"

"Because it could potentially kill both of us," Lexa stated cooly.

"Well, now I understand," Clarke said shrugging her shoulders and rolling her eyes. "How could you possibly expect her to do something like that? How could you be even willing to consider it yourself, Madi?"

"I want what is best for my people Clarke," Madi stated. "And Lexa being a live and having her memories back would be a great asset to all of us."

"That's not a good enough reason," Clarke slightly shouted.

"And she would remember you," Madi continued.

"Thats an even worse reason for you to risk your life for!" Clarke's voice was slowly getting louder. "Don't ever do something based off of my happiness that risks your life! Even if its only a part of your reason, don't ever do something like that for me!"

"I love you, Clarke," Madi said, pleadingly. "You are my mother. I want to see you happy. In Lexa's memories, in my head, I have seen what you look like free and joyous. I wish that for you. And it is not just my love for you, it's also the love of my people."

"There is no point in this argument, because I will never do it," Lexa said lowly, still stoic and unmoved, like a giant stone pillar. "I admire and understand where you are coming from, but I will never do it. I would not risk anyone's life for myself. Especially not the daughter of Clarke."

Madi huffed and stormed off, rolling her eyes in the process. The two women waited until she had completely vanished before they began to speak. "Why wasn't I told about this?" Clarke asked.

"There was nothing to tell," Lexa stated, her cold facade starting to diminish. "I would never do such a thing. And I believe Madi said nothing because she hoped to convince me. I believe she still intends to try." Lexa slowly stepped forward toward Clarke, and stopped within a foot of her. "You have nothing to fear, Clarke. I would never harm you or you child."

"I know," Clarke whispered, intoxicated by the intensity of Lexa's eyes and their close proximity.

"Why do I always want to kiss you, Clarke?" Lexa questioned, her eyes staring down at Clarke's lips as she slowly moved her face closer.

Clarke inhaled sharply and licked her lips. She had no control over her reactions. She kept screaming at herself to stop in her mind. That this wasn't the same as before. That the woman she had known was gone and inside her body lived a stranger. But her heart would always replay, 'It's the woman you're in love with.'

Lexa's hands gently cupped Clarke's face. Green eyes intensely and longingly stared deep into blue until their lips met. Clarke instinctively pulled Lexa closer with one hand and grabbed her neck with the other, pressing herself into her long lost lover. Lexa moved one of her hands into Clarke's hair, trying to pull her even closer. Lexa pulled back slightly and lightly drug her bottom lip against Clarke's before kissing her again. Clarke sighed into the kiss, feeling herself begin to go crazy in the most fantastic way.

Suddenly, a loud bang was heard and Lexa grunted, removing her lips from Clarke's. Clarke looked around, panicked, and then looked up as she felt warmth oozing onto her arm. Lexa had been shot; her black blood flowing quickly out of her shoulder.

Before she had fully been able to register what was going on, Lexa was gone. Clarke looked around panicked. "Lexa!" She yelled. Clarke began to wonder if she had been living a delusional for the past several months as she continued to scream Lexa's name only to have no answer. Right as Clarke was about to accept that she was insane, Lexa reappeared. She was breathing heavily and tightly holding a man by both his wrists with one of her hands. She held his gun and smacked him over the back of the neck with it, nocking him out instantly. As the man thudded to the floor, Lexa appeared by Clarke's side, examining her for wounds.

"Are you alright, Clarke?" Lexa asked pleadingly, grabbing the blondes face and looking into her eyes.

Clarke was breathing unsteady, almost having a panic attack. Lexa held her tightly in her arms and began to lightly sway with her. She snaked one arm around the smaller woman's waste and the other reached up around her back. She began to whisper in Clarke's ear, telling her that she was safe and that everything was alright over and over, and over.

When Clarke finally calmed down, she remembered Lexa had been shot. She quickly pulled back a little to look at Lexa's shoulder and found nothing. There was no bullet wound, no scar. There was only a hole in the blue shirt with dried blood on the cloth. Clarke was stunned. She looked up at Lexa with so many questions.

"I am fine, Clarke," Lexa reassured her. "I will tell you about my healed wound once we bring this man back to camp." Clarke nodded, not able to comprehend what just happened. She kept having flashbacks of the first time she had seen Lexa get shot; the day she died. Clarkes heart was clenching and she began to cry. She burrowed herself into Lexa's shoulder, sobbing. Lexa held her close again and began to rub her back. "I am here, Clarke. You are here. We are both alright. We are both alive."


	5. Chapter 5

A metal door slammed open, causing Charlie to look up from her data screen. A large man's body was flung into the room, tumbling on the metal floor, quickly followed by Lexa. She paced to the man and punched him hard in his jaw as he tried to get up, a loud grunt of pain escaping his mouth as blood sprayed onto the floor. Clarke, Madi, Bellamy and Octavia stepped in at the moment, taking in the scene before them.

Charlie looked the man up and down; he was one of the prisoners. She slowly walked forward and stopped at the opposite side of the man Lexa was, her eye brow raising as she waited for an explanation. As she waited, she quickly scanned Lexa up and down, noticing the quickly healed wound on her left shoulder and the remainder of dried blood on her shirt.

"They came this close?" Charlie asked in disbelief, not seeming phased. "I'm surprised he had the balls."

"He almost shot Clarke," Lexa said lowly, a growl in her voice with every word.

"Well, then I'm surprised he's still alive," Charlie said sarcastically as she leaned down to the floor. She sat the man up with one arm, slightly smacking his face around to get his attention. "Hey there, Hulk, look at me," she said, snapping her fingers in front of his face. The man looked at her, sighing heavily in an agitated manner. "I mean, don't get all but hurt over this. You're the one who put yourself in this situation."

"What happened?" Bellamy interjected.

"Lexa and I were having a discussion in the woods, and he shot her," Clarke said.

"Why were you and Lexa out in the woods having a conversation?" Octavia asked, a teasing glint to her eyes.

Clarke glared at Octavia, which only caused the black haired woman to smile. Bellamy looked back and forth between them and slightly stepped backwards, not wanting to get in the way of a potential fight.

"Why are you here?" Charlie asked the man, regaining everyones attention.

"You know why," the man grunted out as he spit more blood out of his mouth onto the ground, barely missing Charlie.

"I wouldn't have asked if I knew," Charlie said with a small smile, slightly tilting her head. Before anyone could register what was happening, Charlie picked the man up from the ground by his hair and slammed him onto a nearby table, hitting his head onto the surface. "Oh, how clumsy of me. Now, let's try this again," she said as she held him in place, one hand holding his head down and the other holding his hands.

"How the hell is she that strong?" Bellamy puzzled out loud, hoping to get an answer from the other. They all looked at each other, shrugging their shoulders as they wondered the same thing.

"Now, if you don't answer my question this time, I'm going to let Lexa have her way with you," Charlie said as Lexa stepped over to the other side of the table, giving the man an intimidating death glare. "Now Hulk, why the fuck are you here?"

The man grunted as Charlie applied some pressure and pushed him into the table harder. He looked up at the brunette in front of him and audibly swallowed, fearing the look in her eyes. He exhaled and grunted again before speaking. "They wanted to know what you were up to."

Suddenly Lexa had grabbed the man by the hair, lifting his upper body off of the table. Her face was continuing to glare, but her breathing had become heavier. She punched the man in the face again as she let go of his hair, causing his face to land so hard on the metal surface that it left a dent. He let out a cry of pain and Charlie pushed the man down onto the table again. The man looked back up at Lexa. Her face had grown even colder and she was glowering down at the man. She slowly went to reach for him and he yelled, "Alright! Fuck, just don't let crazy hit me again. I swallowed a tooth."

"I mean you did shoot her, seems fair," Charlie said with a smug smile. She lifted the man up so he could stand, causing him to be delirious for a few seconds.

"They know you're leaving," the man said. "They want to know how."

"Oh, you mean they want to try and take everything for themselves like always," Charlie stated, agitation coming through her entire being. "Well, I guess it sucks to suck."

"Muts like you don't deserve a second chance," the man growled.

Before anyone had blinked, the man was flying backward toward the ground. Charlie was quickly onto of him, repeatedly punching his face. Blood started to fly, hitting Clarke, Bellamy, Octavia and Madi. The four stood in shock. Lexa came up behind the woman and pulled her off, locking Charlie's arms behind her back to still her. "Breathe," Lexa said soothingly, over and over.

Bellamy looked down at the man and then looked at Clarke, concerned. "Did you even see her move?" He asked her lowly.

"No," Clarke said, looking away from Bellamy and directing her eyes toward Lexa trying to calm her friend down. "I've never seen anyone move that fast."

"It's the mutation," Madi chimed in, not seeming phased by anything that had happened. The other three looked at her curiously. "I've been researching as well. And talking with everyone. Becca also reveals a lot to me."

"I'm calm!" Charlie shouted, trying to get out of Lexa's death grip, regaining everyone's attention.

"You are not," Lexa said, tightening her grip on her friend. "They are just words. Breathe. You almost killed him."

At that statement, Charlie stopped struggling. A look of revelation and then disappointment settled on to her face. Lexa let go and took a step back. Charlie closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She reached for a radio from her pocket and began to speak. "I have a body down here that needs medical attention. Code 501," She said into the walkie.

"What the fuck just happened?" Octavia asked, wide eyed and excited.

"What was he talking about?" Clarke asked.

"And how the fuck did you move so quickly?" Bellamy chimed in.

Charlie lightly laughed and began to answer, "Um, I lost my temper. The planet is dying and we're leaving. And like Madi said, gene mutation." The three stared at her, Clarke and Bellamy clearly agitated by the short answers. "Fine," Charlie said with a huff. "Lexa, Madi, Raven and I have been spending a lot of time this past week trying to find somewhere to go."

"I thought you just said the planet was dying," Clarke said, eyeing the woman suspiciously.

"It is…" Charlie trailed off. "So, ya know, I'm looking for somewhere to go. Like, another planet. Well, not just me, we."

"What," Clarke said, taken aback.

Two men walked into the room, pushing past the group by the door. Clarke, Bellamy, Octavia and Madi walked further in, feet away from Charlie and Lexa. The two men picked 'Hulk' up off of the floor and began to carry him to the medical center. Once they left, Charlie continued. "This bunker, isn't really a bunker. It's a ship."

Madi lit up excitedly, even though she already knew. The other three however, looked dumbfounded. They looked back and fourth at each other for a minute, communicating their disbelief and then awe through their eyes.

"Those prisoners," Charlie continued, "Weren't just used for mining. They were used to explore star systems and newly found planets. They did find one a few decades before I was frozen." Charlie walked over the the screen she had been looking at earlier and enlarged it holographically for the rest in the room. "They named Tabula Rasa, meaning 'blank slate.' It was supposedly the closest planet they found to Earth." She zoomed in on there planet allowing it to rotate in full view for everyone. "It's three times larger than Earth. It's gravity is a bit lighter than ours. The air is breathable for humans, just takes some getting use to. The plant and animal life are similar enough to where we would have food resources. And there's two suns, which causes the planet to be about five degrees hotter than Earth. At least, this is what the research says from the teams that landed there."

"There's people there," Clarke questioned as she moved closer to the image, now standing right next to Lexa.

"There were," Charlie frowned. "All the information was sent after the bombs fell. They stopped after about a decade of receiving nothing in return. From what I can tell with the technology on this ship, nothing about the planet has appeared to have changed much."

"How long would it take us to get there?" Bellamy asked, not sounding too happy about the idea.

"The calculations say about one-hundred and seventy-five years, give or take," Charlie said, shrugging her shoulders.

"So we wouldn't live to see it?" Bellamy continued, his voice deflating.

"No, but I will, so that's cool," Charlie joked, causing Clarke and Bellamy to glare at the woman. Lexa smiled and lightly laughed as she watched, instantly gaining Clarke's attention. The two stared at each other for a moment before Charlie continued. "Sarcasm, damn. Anyway, yes you would. We'd all just get frozen in our little pods and take a nice long nap."

Everyone stayed silent for a while. Taking in what was said and thinking all of it through. Clarke's face lit up with the light bulb inside of her head. "The ground has been shaking because of this ship," she stated.

Charlie nodded. "We've been slowly starting her up and getting her ready," she said. "That's also why we've been trying to get your attention. We didn't want to leave everyone behind."

"So you would have left if we hadn't come?" Clarke asked as a stern look grew on her face, hiding her playfulness of the question.

"Of course I would have!" Charlie defended, seeming wounded.

"Clarke is joking," Lexa said to her friend, smiling again.

"But she looks so serious…" Charlie trailed off, scratching the back of her head. "Touche."

"So, what's the plan?" Clarke asked with a smile, eyeing Lexa and causing the brunette to shift uncomfortably.

A few weeks had gone by. Clarke had explained everything to her fellows from the arc, and Madi explained everything to the grounders. Everyone had accepted and agreed upon leaving, even if a lot didn't fully understand what was going on. Everything seemed to be ready. The ship was prepared, rations had been made, weapons and clothing had been stored; a few more days and they would all be leaving Earth.

Clarke had approached Lexa earlier in the day, asking if they could spend some time together. The two were sitting in Lexa's room at her table, playing a game of chess. Clarke had been surprised and impressed when the brunette had asked if she wanted to play. She thought for once she might beat Lexa at something, but was becoming discouraged.

"How are you so good at this?" Clarke whispered as she moved a piece on the board.

"Charlie and I played a lot the past seven years," Lexa said with a smug smile as she moved one of her pieces.

Clarke froze as she felt that nagging jealousy appear in her stomach. She knew that she was most likely afraid, but couldn't shake the feeling. She wanted to know if there was something there between the two women. After all, they had been stuck together for a long time, and Lexa had had no memory of her.

"Clarke?" Lexa questioned, noticing the blonde had retreated into her mind. When Clarke didn't respond, Lexa reached out slowly and touched her hand. It instantly shot the blonde out of her trance and she stared into concerned green eyes.

"Are you okay, Clarke?" Lexa asked.

"Yeah," Clarke said, trying to hide what she was feeling.

"You are lying," Lexa stated as she pulled her hand away.

Clarke missed the contact instantly and she swallowed hard. Lexa was staring at her, waiting patiently. Clarke could feel her skin starting to crawl; between the jealousy and the longing building up within her, she was about to explode. "Do you like Charlie?" Clarke blurted out, not being able to contain it.

Lexa looked at her curiously, a bit confused. "She is my friend, of course I like her," Lexa stated.

"No," Clarke said as she sighed and rolled her eyes. "I mean, are you interested in her? As more than a friend?"

Lexa chuckled and an embarrassed blush arose on Clarke's cheeks. "No," Lexa said. "Charlie is like a sister to me. We have grown very close, and I am very fond of her, but I am not attracted to her. I love her, but I am not in love with her. She is like my first, and I am her second. I have no other way to explain it."

Clarke let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding and felt her body relax. Her face became more flushed when she saw an amused smile on Lexa's face. "What?" She asked defiantly, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Were you jealous, Clarke?" Lexa asked, already knowing the answer.

Clarke knew that look on Lexa's face. She decided not to fight. "I was… a little," she said. Lexa's smile grew and Clarke rolled her eyes once again. "You spend so much time together," Clarke started, "And you do almost everything together. You touch a lot and you eat together. It just made me suspicious…"

Lexa rose from her seat. She pulled her chair over and placed it beside Clarke's. She sat down, pointing her body in Clarke's direction, and waited for Clarke to face her. When Clarke did finally, she was met with a warm smile and deep green, intense eyes. "Charlie and I are close, yes," Lexa began, "but we are not lovers. We never have been and we never will be. I would not touch Charlie that way if she were the last woman alive. She is my family Clarke. I am no different with her than you are with Madi or Bellamy. But I have to admit," Lexa trailed of as she leaned in slightly and brushed Clare's hand with hers, "It does make me slightly pleased that you were jealous."

Clarke bit her bottom lip and rolled her eyes. She couldn't believe this moment. Not only had she admitted jealousy so blatantly, but Lexa was being so open and sarcastic. She was thoroughly enjoying getting to know all of these pieces of the former commander; the pieces she had never gotten to fully explore. Clarke looked down at their hands touching and noticed her breathing had become faster. It still blew her mind that a light touch from the woman in front of her could send her heart racing. She looked back up at Lexa and found her staring at her lips.

"Can I help you with something, Leska?" Clarke asked with a smirk.

Lexa swallowed hard. She didn't know why, but when Clarke said her name like that, it drove her crazy in every way possible. She found herself leaning in closer to the blonde, a hunger growing within her that seemed so familiar and so foreign. Lexa stopped a breath away from Clarke's lips, the pairs breath lingering in the small space between their lips. "You always make me want to kiss you, Klarke," Lexa said before closing the gap and pressing her lips gently onto the blonde's.

Clarke shuttered at the contact and kissed the woman back. Her hands quickly cupped Lexa's face and gently pulled her in closer. The two stayed like that for a moment before Lexa pulled away slightly. She stared into a dark ocean of blue that seemed hazed and something within her snapped; she lost control.

Before she could register what she was doing, Lexa grabbed Clarke by her thighs and lifter her up. She sat her on to the edge of the table, knocking the chairs over in the process. She grabbed Clarkes neck and puled her in for another kiss, more aggressive than the first. Clarke groaned as she felt Lexa's lips and body sinking in to hers, pulling the brunette closer. Lexa grabbed at Clarke and held her firmly in place, not wanted to lose and contact. She bit Clarke's bottom lip and traced her tongue lightly over it. Clarke opened her mouth, allowing the brunette entry as she wrapped her legs tightly around her. Lexa explored Clarke's mouth eagerly, receiving the same force in return.

The two women stayed like that for a while, grabbing and pulling at each other, their lips never leaving the others. Clarke's body involuntarily ground her hips into Lexa's and the brunette broke the kiss, gasping as she squeezed at Clarke's hips. They were both breathing heavily, holding on to each other for dear life, unmoving. Clarke opened her eyes to find dilated dark green eyes pouring into her; she gasped at the sight.

"We should stop," Lexa said weakly, her eyes saying something completely different.

Clarke grabbed Lexa's neck and pulled her in for a searing kiss. Their tongues danced again and Clarke moaned when she felt her commander grind her hips into hers. Her free hand clawed at Lexa's back, causing the brunette to gasp. Lexa pulled Clarke's hips even closer to her and ground into the blonde again, causing Clarke to pull her lips away and moan. Lexa's body shook at the sound and her eyes rolled into the back of her head. She moved one of her hands inside of Clarkes shirt, touching the skin underneath it lightly. The two looked at each other, blue and green mixing in an intoxicating haze.

Lexa's door suddenly shot open as Charlie walked in. "Oh dear God!" Charlie shouted as she looked up and saw the two. She dropped the data pad in her hand and covered her eyes, frozen. "I should have knocked. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to you two, and I'm so sorry to my eyes."

Lexa reluctantly pulled away from Clarke with an aggravated sigh. Clarke took in the sight, smiling wide. Lexa pulled Clarke down from the table, eying her up and down one last time before turning to Charlie. "You should have knocked," Lexa agreed calmly.

"Yup, yup, I know," Charlie said in a fake painted voice. "Can I uncover and open my eyes now?"

"You may," Lexa answered.

Charlie looked at the two of them an frowned before speaking. "Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for you two, but I'm so horrified." The young women stared, unphased. "Anyway, I need you both in the command center. We all have a big discussion to attend."


	6. Chapter 6

The command center was pretty big; packed with computers, terminals, firing boards for weaponry. Toward the front of the room was a circular platform, with an almost full circle above it, allowing space for the platform to be stood on. Charlie was in the middle of the platform, pressing buttons on an illuminated keyboard furiously. Lexa, Clarke, Bellamy, Madi, Indra, Octavia and Monty all were standing around the platform, waiting.

Madi and Indra stood silently, waiting patiently. Bellamy, Octavia and Monty drifted in and out of random conversation, occasionally laughing and reminiscing. Clarke and Lexa were a foot apart, quietly steeling glances at each other and then averting their gazes.

"So," Charlie started, grabbing everyones attention as a hologram of a woman appeared around the platform she was standing on. "We've been contacted by Diyoza. She wants sanctum. Her and a select few are requesting to be welcomed into our little group. Thoughts?" Charlie looked around the room to find a mixture of shocked and stone cold faces.

"Who are the few?" Clarke asked.

"Um, some of her fellow army comrades," Charlie stated looking down at a metal, bulky bracelet attached to her arm, pulling up a smaller holographic screen from it. "The few who were loyal to her, and then the pilot. She is also claiming to have Raven, Murphy, Echo, Abby, Kane and Emori with her." The group grew silent for a few moments. "She also asked that if we refuse to take her and her crew, if we could at least take in her child." That caught everyone's attention in a different way.

"We will obviously get Clarke's friends back," Lexa began, calm and collected. "And if the majority feel like we should not take Diyoza and her crew, we are taking the child. That's not negotiable."

Everyone looked at Lexa, surprised by the statement. Indra smirked momentarily, the Commander she use to know briefly showing herself through the words. "I agree," Clarke said. "Her child hasn't done any harm, and we're not leaving our friends behind."

"Well what if she won't give us our friends without her included in the package?" Bellamy more stated then asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Then we will take them," Madi said, her features calm and stoic.

"I don't think that will be and issue," Charlie interjected, grabbing everyone's attention. "She seems sincere, and I honestly believe she just wants safety for her child above all else. I can tell when she's lying…"

"You know her," Octavia said.

"Yes, from before," Charlie said lowly, momentarily living in a memory. "She is not trust worthy, and neither are her crew. But they can be easily controlled by us. And Diyoza herself will not do anything she thinks will endanger the life of her child."

"I agree," Clarke stated again. "But she'll also do anything she feels like if she thinks her child is in danger, or if it can give her the upper hand."

"She will not get it," Lexa said, her arms now behind her back, her posture straight as an arrow.

"And what makes you so certain?" Bellamy asked sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

Lexa looked the man in the eyes and he froze, paralyzed by the demanding green orbs staring at him. "She does not know what we are capable of," Lexa said. "Neither do most of you."

"And what the fuck does that mean?" Bellamy asked, agitation in his voice. The ex Commander and Bellamy were quickly getting drawn into a stand off.

"I think what she means," Charlie interjected, trying to defuse the potential fight, "Is that there are a lot of things about us most of you do not know." She quickly had the rooms attention again. Everyone but Lexa's, who was still staring daggers at Bellamy. "We've all had our own mutations occur; our small little group. If you'd like, Lexa and I can demonstrate it rather than trying to explain." Lexa finally looked at the woman speaking, her eyebrow raising in question. "I think you and I could use a little release of tension," Charlie said to Lexa, smirking. Lexa nodded in approval, a smirk forming on her own lips.

The entire way back up to the surface, Clarke watched the interaction between Charlie and Lexa closely. They kept glancing and smirking at each other, clearly excited for their spar; but Clarke was feeling that nagging feeling of jealousy pop up.

The group arrived outside and Charlie cleared a large enough area for the two to spar, catching everyone's attention. Some smiled, excited for the show about to take place, waiting and knowing. The rest whispered and stared in curiosity. Charlie threw her shirt to the ground, her sports braw now the only piece of clothing on her upper body. Scars and intricate tattoos covered her body and almost seemed to start sizzling with body heat. Lexa threw her shirt as well, now in the same apparel as her friend. Clarke's gaze began to take in Lexa's body from across the circle. As she took in the familiar skin, tattoos and marks, she noticed how Lexa's body also began to seem like it was heating up.

"Ready?" Charlie asked with a smile, as she cracked her neck and back. All she got in response was a smirk from the former Commander.

Suddenly the two were in the middle of the circle, punching, kicking and blocking. There body movements appeared as blurs with how quickly there were moving. The fellows of the two fighting cheered in excitement, chanting and screaming. Everyone else stared in awe, trying to keep up with the movements.

Lexa threw a punch and Charlie caught it. The two women paused momentarily. "Don't be so obvious," Charlie said, challenging her friend. Catching her opponent off guard, Lexa kicked Charlie in the stomach, sending the girl flying toward the crowd. A large man quickly caught Charlie before she hit the crowd. Charlie laughed as she released herself from the man's grip, wiping the small trickle of black blood from her lip.

A small group of men and women formed a protective barrier in front of the crowd, and began chanting once in their places. "Good," Charlie breathed. "Now, let's take it up notch." The ground began to shake slightly and steam was coming off of Charlie's body. The woman took a deep breath in and formed a fighting stance, waiting for her partner. Lexa smirked, following suite; her body once again having the same reaction.

The two came together more forcefully this time, causing a loud thunderous sound as their fists rammed each other's cheeks. They were moving faster now, and Clarke was not able tot keep up with them. She found herself speechless and captivated all at once. She rubbed her eyes and smacked herself to see if it was a dream; but the two women were still moving at lighting speed. They would appear in one place and then appear in another. It was mind blowing to Clarke and her friends.

Clarke looked over to see Bellamy staring in awe, Madi and Indra staring with calm smiles, Monty watching on edge, and Octavia screaming and cheering at the top of her lungs. She took a deep breath and brought her attention back to the two women sparing. And when she looked over, it was Lexa getting flung into the crowd this time, being caught by a woman on the other side of the circle.

Lexa cracked her shoulders and sighed. The familiar look of determination began to take it's place on her features. Her breathing became heavier and it almost seemed as if an aura appeared around her. Charlie smirked and responded, her body creating the same aura. And this time when they came together nothing was seen. A loud bang was heard as their bodies collided, causing the ground beneath them to slightly split. The cheers became louder, all of the grounders now screaming with excitement, even some of Skaikru. Flashes of skin were seen for a few moments before Charlie had stilled with Lexa in a head lock.

Lexa was breathing deeply, trying to push her friends arms from around her neck. "Give up," Charlie said. Lexa continued to fight, not even seeming phased. "Give up," Charlie repeated, not wanting to choke her friend unconscious. Lexa calmed herself. She momentarily stilled and before anyone knew what was happening, she flipped Charlie over and pinned her to the ground. The ground smashed under Charlie's body, causing an indent of the woman's frame into the Earth. She tapped out and began to laugh. "You win," Charlie said excitedly.

The crowd cheered and Lexa released her friend. The two women's body temperatures were slowly dropping back down to normal as Lexa reached her hand out and helped her friend up. Charlie slapped Lexa lightly on the back, a look of pride and joy across her features. Lexa smiled fully, pushing her friend in the arm. The entire scene had Clarke stunned and extremely jealous. She couldn't take that nagging feeling in her stomach, and she ran away from the crowd, into the woods.

Clarke ran as fast as she could, jumping over fallen trees and occasionally hitting a branch. She began to scream once she thought she was far enough; trying to release her anger. She kept running, building her momentum and trying to make her lungs burn.

Suddenly, she was stopped and pinned against a tree. She slightly panicked and looked around until she found concerned green eyes boring into hers. She began to catch her breath, her anger slowly fading the longer she stared into the eyes looking slightly down at her. When she came back to reality, she realized the position she was in. She was pinned against a tree with one of Lexa's legs in between hers. Her hands were pinned above her head and Lexa's other hand was lightly griping Clarke's waist.

Clarke felt slight annoyance build up, not really understanding why. She began to squirm, trying to escape. Her blue eyes were on fire, warning the brunette to back off. It only caused Lexa to push her body into the blonde's more.

"Why are you running, Clarke?" Lexa asked lowly, intently watching the blondes reactions.

"Let me go!" Clarke demanded, her voice laced with agitation.

"Why?" Lexa asked again, looking the woman over once before staring back into the ocean of blue in front of her.

"You were all over her," Clarke said lowly, anger building within her. "And I didn't want to see it."

"Clarke," Lexa started, exhaling, "we were sparing. That happens when you fight. I do not understand why you are so jealous. If I were interested in making Charlie mine, I would have tried a long time ago."

Clarke knew the statement to be true, but she was still angry. She tried to break free again, only to have Lexa push even further into her. There was now no space between their bodies, and Clarke was fighting the sensations racing through her veins.

"Why are you still angry?" Lexa questioned, agitation now coming through her voice.

"Because…" Clarke trailed off, avoiding eye contact with the brunette, still trying to fight her way out of where she was pinned.

"That is not an answer," Lexa sighed.

"Just, because!" Clarke shouted, furry raging in her eyes and she stared into confused green orbs.

"Clarke," Lexa said lowly, trying to calm her.

"You two are so close!" Clarke spit out, trying even harder to get away from her captor.

"Why is that a bad thing?"

"Because…"

"Because is not an answer, Clarke,"

"Because you're closer to her than you are to me, and it infuriates me!" Clarke shouted, her body finally stilling and accepting defeat.

Lexa removed her hand from Clarke's wrist and lowered it to her face. She gently cupped the blonde's cheek, and made the woman look her in the eyes. Where there was anger, there was now sadness. Clarke let her arms fall to her sides, tired from trying to push the ex Commander away.

"Charlie and I are close, I have admitted this to you," Lexa began, never taking her eyes off of Clarke's, "But I do not feel for her that way."

"She kept you from me," Clarke said weakly. "You've been alive, this entire time, and she kept you from me. Watching you two fighting, realizing what you've been doing this entire time… I'm just so hurt. You've been here, underneath me, this entire time, and she kept you from me." Clarke's eyes were beginning to fill with tears, but she refused to let them fall.

"Clarke," Lexa whispered breathlessly, her heart hurting from the other woman's pain. "It is not that simple. I was not awake for over a year. And by the time I had awoken, the world was an entirely different place. I had no recollection of anything but my childhood. Charlie had to reteach me so much. I was like a child."

"She knew who I was, and said nothing," Clarke said bitterly.

Lexa began to soothingly move her thumb back and forth on Clarke's cheek, never losing eye contact. "That is not true either, Clarke. Charlie did not tell me about you at first. She did not want to confuse me anymore than I was. But one day, I saw you on one of the monitoring screens and I…," Lexa trailed off in thought for a moment. She smiled at Clarke and continued, "I froze. I felt like I had known you. And I desperately wanted to remember something I knew was there but that I could not reach. And that is when she told me about you, about us. She even had footage of certain things that she had played for me. When I asked her why she had never said anything, she said that she did not want me to tell me how to feel or what to think based off of the past."

"Then why did she end up telling?" Clarke asked defensively. "If she didn't want to confuse you, why did she say anything?"

Lexa smiled at the childish way Clarke asked the question. "Because that day when I saw you on the screen, she saw it."

"Saw what?" Clarke asked lowly, mesmerized by the woman in front of her.

"She saw that I still felt the same in this life as I did in the last," Lexa said, barely above of whisper, as she leaned in and gently kissed the woman in front of her.


	7. Chapter 7

"CHARLIE!" Lexa yelled as she kicked the doors open to the medical bay, carrying a bleeding, unconscious Clarke in her hands. "CHARLIE!" She called again, panic erupting in her voice. She carried Clarke into an isolated room and laid her on the soft mattress of the the bed. She took in the barely breathing blonde below her for a mili second before screaming Charlie's name again.

Before Lexa could notice, Charlie was on the other side of the bed, checking Clarke's pulse and scanning her wounds. "What happened?" Charlie asked calmly, continuing to exam the woman on the bed.

"We were in the forest and…" Lexa trailed off, suddenly feeling light headed from the fear coursing through her veins.

Charlie looked up at the ex Commander, her calm demeanor unwavering. "Lexa," she said soothingly, "I need you to stay with me. Breathe. She won't die; I promise you that."

Lexa looked up at her friend. She began to take deep breaths and centered herself. When she reopened her eyes, she saw Charlie preparing a machine. "What are you doing?" Lexa asked.

Charlie froze for a moment and then turned to her friend, saying, "You know exactly what I'm doing." The two stared; the only sound was the faint breathing of Clarke.

"What if she does not want this?" Lexa asked.

"Her injuries are too great," Charlie said as she turned and laid on to the bed next to Clarkes, on the opposite side of the machine. "If there were another way, I would do it. But she has multiple wounds to main arteries and organs, and no machine here will fix that. This is our only choice… unless you want to let her die."

Lexa's blood ran cold at the thought and her heart felt like it was being clenched. She took another look at her friend and simply nodded. "Tell me what to do," the brunette said.

Charlie smiled sadly at her friend and answered, "Go in to the monitoring room and select DNA transfer on the screen. The machinery will do the rest. And make sure no one comes in here until it's done. If the door opens during the process, it could go bad. We don't know how Clarke's body is going to react to this."

Lexa nodded and excited the room. Walking a few feet to her right, she entered the control room. She security locked the medical room and typed away at the holographic keyboard in front of her, starting the transfer. When she looked up, she found Madi beside her. There was a mixture of confusion, fear, anger and worry on her eyes.

"What's going on?!" Madi demanded, her eyes flicking back and forth between Clarke and Lexa. "What happened?!"

"We were ambushed," Lexa said calmly, looking Madi in her eyes. "And we are saving her." As Lexa let the last sentence out of her mouth, Bellamy, Monty and Octavia entered the control room. They looked around, panicking at the sight.

"What the fuck is this?!" Bellamy demanding, charging for the ex Commander, only to be stopped in his tracks by an invisible force.

"We are saving her," Lexa repeated, anger laced in her words toward the man.

"Bone marrow and blood transfer," Monty said lowly as he observed what was going on in the room. The rest in the room turned to see.

Clarke and Charlie were both shackled into their beds, as machines commenced to connect tubes between the women for a blood transfusion. As the process began, one machine began digging into Charlie's skin, extracting bone marrow. Charlie gritted her teeth and growled, fully conscious.

"Why aren't knocking her out?" Monty asked as he looked at Lexa, sympathy drenched in his features.

"Charlie needs to be awake for it," Lexa said as she stared at her friend, pain clearly visible. "It does not work the same if she is not. It is less likely to work, or cause something worse to happen."

"You're turning her in to one of you," Octavia voiced, a mixture of disgust and confusion in her words. "Lexa, why would you do that without her consent? I know you care about her. So why?"

Lexa moved her eyes toward the blonde who was covered in her own black blood, barely breathing. "There was no other option," She said lowly. "If there was, I would have done it. I just…. I can not let Clarke die."

The room grew silent, and Bellamy was released from the unseen barrier. They all watched as Charlie did her best to keep from screaming as the machines teared at her body. They began to cut open Clarke and insert the extracted material.

"What will happen?" Madi asked in a whisper, tears filling in her eyes.

"Other than her living, I do not know," Lexa answered, her eyes jolting back and forth between her best friend and her love. "Everyone transforms in a different way. We all have some similar traits, because we were all saved by Charlie's DNA. But we are all still completely different. It is like… a unique fighting style."

"What happened?" Monty asked the question on everyone's mind again.

Lexa sighed and began to explain, "Clarke ran into the woods after the sparing match and I ran after her. We were talking and became distracted. I was so engaged in our conversation, that I did not notice the soldiers approaching. They attacked us. Bullets were everywhere and I did my best to grab Clarke and get her to safety… but she had already been hit multiple times."

"Who?" Bellamy instantly asked, rage bubbling in his voice.

"I do not know," Lexa said, the shame and guilt gleaming in her eyes. "I have never seen them before."

The room grew quiet once more, and all eyes were focused on the two in the room. Patiently, they waited for it to end.

It had been three days since the procedure. Clarke and Charlie laid in their beds, unconscious. They had been cleaned and changed, and were covered with blankets. Lexa had been sitting in a chair in between the two beds the entire time. Her eyes would linger on one woman and then linger on the other. She would pass out from time to time, wake and continue watching. She hadn't left, not for a second.

Madi walked into the room. Lexa didn't even look in her direction. Madi sighed and walked over to the brunette, gently placing a hand on her shoulder. "Go get some rest," Madi said softly.

"No," Lexa replied lowly, exhaustion in her voice.

"You haven't left since it happened."

"And I will not until they wake."

"Can you at least go take a quick shower?" The question caught Lexa's attention and she looked at Madi, one eye brow raised. "You smell," Madi said, smiling at the brunette. "Do you want to smell when Clarke wakes up?" She teased.

Lexa sighed and slowly got up, almost toppling over in the process. She hadn't realized how weak her legs felt from the lack of use. "I will be right back," She said before exiting the room as quickly as possible.

Madi sat in the chair and took Lexa's place. She stared at Clarke with concern and worry, praying to whatever was out there that they would wake her mother up. She glanced over to the other woman, wondering why Charlie would risk her life in such a way for Clarke. She had learned that the woman was kind and thoughtful, but did not expect something like this.

As Madi began drifting in to thought as she set her sights on Clarke again, Lexa reappeared; bathed and in a new set of clothes. Madi smiled at the woman, welcoming her presence. Lexa quirked her eyebrow again, curious, and asked, "Why do you look so pleased to see me?"

Madi's smile grew before she began to speak, "Because I am."

"Why? You do not know me."

"But I do," Madi said as she lightly tapped a finger on the back of her neck.

Lexa sighed and took a step closer to the young Commander. "That is not me."

"It's a part of you," Madi argued. "A part of you lives in my head. That part of you talks to me, helps me, guides me, in more ways than any of the others. She is more compassionate, strong, caring and loving than any of the others. She is selfless and good. I admit, she is my favorite."

Lexa froze, not knowing what to say. She contemplated before speaking, "How can you say that?"

"It's how I feel and what I know."

"That part of me, inside of your head, was a monster," Lexa slightly spat the last word. "That part of me killed innocents and lived without honor, without love. That woman closed herself off from the world and caused chaos in her wake."

"With all respect, you do not know what it's like to be Commander," Madi said as she rose from the chair. "To be Commander is to make extremely hard decisions. Decisions that almost always end up harming someone. A Commander can't just make an entire population obey by word. You know our people. They will only respect strength, and they will only obey when they have respect. And in order to accomplish good things, sometimes there are decisions that need to be made that no one wants to happen." The two were silent for a moment. Lexa was trying to be fair and listen to Madi's point of view, but her entire being was aching to automatically reject her words. "You became Commander at the age of eight, Lexa. The only guidance you had were the previous Commanders, Titus, and the warriors around you. You were taught that love was weakness repeatedly, until you believed it. You were taught that blood must have blood and there should be no mercy, and you believed it. You became what you were taught. It is no one's fault. But once you saw it could be different, you slowly started the process of change. And when Clarke appeared in your life, you both tried to kick that change into overdrive."

Lexa knew it was true; children lived what they learned. She still did not want to accept that person was her, the person she had heard about and seen in recordings. That woman was cold, ruthless, unrelenting. She knew that that is what her people wanted and seemed to need in leadership. She remembered contemplating it many times before she took the flame.

Lexa sighed and walked to the end of Clarke's bed. She stared at the blonde, captivated even in that moment. She wanted to remember Clarke, to remember every moment with her. But she didn't want to remember anything else.

"I'm sorry," was all Lexa heard before her word went black.

Lexa jolted up in her bed, panicking. Her heart was racing and she was struggling to catch her breath. Pain was surging through her head and it felt like the world was shaking around her. She closed her eyes and covered her ears with her hands, bringing her knees to her chest. There was a loud ringing and another sharp surge of pain.

Suddenly, memories flooded her mind. It was like she could see them all at once in slow motion, but they also seemed to quickly pass by. She growled in frustration, waiting for it to stop. There was another loud ringing before it suddenly all stopped.

All Lexa could hear now was her own breathing. She stared at the white blanket that had slid off of her body, now only covering her bare feet. She began to calm her breathing and she slowly brought hear hands down and rested them on the bed beneath her. She lifted her shirt and looked down at the scar from the bullet wound that ended her first life. And with that action there was a sudden merging. The person she had been and had been becoming became one in that instant, and Lexa froze as a mixture of feelings arose in her.

All the puzzle pieces had been connected. Her being was now intact once more. She felt pain, agony, regret, remorse, happiness, joy, longing and pleasure all at once for a few moments. When the storm within her settled, a realization hit her. And as if on cue, Charlie walked into the room, smiling at the brunette.

"Finally," Charlie said as she approached her friend.

"What have you done?" Lexa asked, her voice cold and full of anger.

Charlie froze and her smile fell into a sad expression. "I'm sorry Lexa," Charlie apologized, "But I couldn't let you go on being half yourself forever. And before you get up and try and kill me, Madi is perfectly fine. Better than fine. And Clarke is doing very well."

"How long have I been asleep?" Lexa asked, her anger and hurt still raging inside of her.

"Ummm, a while," Charlie whispered as she looked down at the ground. "So long that we've arrived at our new home. And we've been here for a few years now. Earth years anyway."

"Get out," Lexa said, no longer looking at the other woman.

"Lexa…" Charlie trailed off. "Lexa, what I did wasn't right or fair, but it had to be done-"

"GET OUT!" Lexa yelled, bending the metal of her bed as she grabbed on to it. Charlie nodded and left the room silently. When the door finally closed behind her, Lexa began to break down, tears overflowing from her eyes.


	8. Chapter 8

Lexa had been refusing to see anyone; even Clarke. For over a month, she only left her room to eat and shower. If someone approached, she would ignore them. If someone pushed for interaction, she burnt holes into them, resulting in the person running away.

Everyone appeared the same yet different to Lexa. She had been watching, monitoring, taking in every detail of what she saw. Everyone seemed to be a lot happier, even the grounders. They all wore new clothes, made out of materials from the new planet; at least that's what she assumed. They all also carried swords, daggers, bows and spears that looked to be made of new material; she hadn't seen any guns. Everyone's physical appearance seemed to be more muscular, more healthy. Every person seemed to have a purpose and they all seemed content.

But today, Lexa had to finally step outside. She had spent all this time in her room collecting herself. Her days were spent writing, piecing things together in her mind, meditating, praying and exercising.

Lexa stared herself down in the mirror for a while. "Who am I?" She whispered to herself, swallowing hard. She sighed and allowed herself to be sad for a few moments before putting that familiar mask on. She opened her door and slowly made her way outside of the ship

The first step Lexa took on the ground of the new planet made her freeze. She marveled at the sight around her. There were trees that spiraled and intertwined with each other as high as the tower in Polis. The leaves ranged from extremely bright green to dark yellow. It was warm and the air smelled fresh and clean, with an unrecognizable sweet fragrance. The grass in the distance was the color of grain and appeared to rise as high as her knees. She could hear noises of wild life; humming, popping, something similar to a bird call. And the sky was bright blue with hints of yellow.

She looked around the ship and took in the small growing village. There were one story houses in front of her and to her left. To her right, were what appeared to be food storage and gutting houses, and behind them a little farther were crops. There was an outline of a wooden wall that almost completely circled around the area that had been claimed. And in front of her was an opening that led into the towering forest.

Clarke had been watching Lexa since she stepped foot off of the ship. She stared, taking in every moment of what Lexa was experiencing. The blonde smiled when she saw the wonder and awe spread across the brunette's face. Her heart filled with joy when she saw a smirk appear across the lips she had been fantasizing about.

After Lexa's initial shock, she could feel someone watching her. She turned and found Clarke smiling at her. Their eyes locked and both women froze. After what seemed like forever, Clarke began to approach. Lexa immediately locked her hands behind her back and slightly stiffened. Her face was masked once more, but her eyes always screamed everything to Clarke.

"What do you think?" Clarke asked, stopping a few feet in front of Lexa.

"It is beautiful," Lexa replied, slightly smiling, never taking her eyes off of Clarke's.

"It is," Clarke agreed as she smiled back. She briefly looked down at the ground. When she brought her eyes back up to meet the ex commander's, she found a look of concern.

"I know this question will most likely be irrelevant since it has been a long time," Lexa began, "But how are you feeling? I was not able to be there to check on you, or to help you."

Clarke smiled sympathetically at the woman in front of her, feeling sad for what had happened. "I'm feeling good. I was confused and panicked when I woke up. Then I was angry. I had a bit of a hard time adjusting, but I'm getting the hang of it more every day."

"I apologize, Clarke," Lexa said, sincerity written all over her face. Clarke gave her a confused look and waited for an explanation. "I did not know what else to do. You could not be saved in your condition. And I could not let you die. I feel horribly about it all. If I had been paying more attention, it would not have happened in the first place."

"Lexa," Clarke whispered her name as she took a step forward, "You have nothing to apologize for. You didn't shoot me. And it's not your fault why I was shot. If you want to blame someone, blame me. I was the one who… made things heated." Clarke's cheeks slightly blushed at the memory, and she momentarily avoided eye contact with the brunette again. "And if you think I was angry at you, or with you, I wasn't. I was frustrated with everything going on within in me. I was angry because of what they did to you."

Lexa released a heavy breath and fisted her hands together. She closed her eyes before she began to speak. "I am still upset, but I am not angry. I understand why they did what they did. I do not agree with it, and I do not wish to converse with either of them right now, but I do understand." Lexa opened her eyes and found Clarke a foot closer, only inches between them. She could feel herself beginning to become flustered, and she fought to control it. "I did not want to remember everything. I still do not want to. But a part of me is grateful as well. It's why I've been keeping to myself. I did not want to lose my temper with anyone, and I wanted to be alone to figure some things out."

"I understand," Clarke responded immediately, a small smile playing on her lips. "I'm here if you want to talk, Lexa. Or if you just need someone to listen or sit in silence with; I'm here for you."

Before Clarke knew what was happening, Lexa was hugging her tightly, digging her head into the blonde's neck. After a moment of shock, Clarke reciprocated the hug, leaning her head into the nook of the brunette's neck. They embraced for a few minutes, breathing each other in. Clarke slowly pulled away and had a mischievous smile on her lips. The ex commander cocked her eyebrow, waiting for what was to come next.

"Can I show you something?" Clarke asked.

"Of course."

Clarke took Lexa's hand and began to walk her into the forest. They walked on a beaten path through the trees. Once again, Lexa was marveling at all of the life around her. The tree's wood were a darker brown than the ones on Earth, and yellow moss grew in patches up along the sides of them. Creatures similar to birds flew above them, flying from tree to tree. At one point, she spotted an animal that was similar to a deer. It was larger and had more muscle. It carried itself on six legs instead of four, four of them on the back end of it's body. It had long, thick horns that grew on separate sides of the animals head that began to intertwine at the top. Lexa was so enthralled by the world around her that she bumped into Clarke when they had stopped.

Clarke chuckled and once again took in Lexa's face. She watched the woman beside her with adoration and amazement, smiling. She slowly reached up and gently placed her hand on Lexa's cheek. The brunette looked at her curiously and she began to feel Clarke slowly turning her head.

Lexa's breath was taken away again. They stood at the edge of the forest, on top of a mountain. All she could see for miles on end where hills, trees, roaming wildlife, rivers and some waterfalls. There were so many colors mixed in to it all that the woman could barely categorize them all in her mind.

Clarke chuckled and held Lexa's hand in hers once more. She turned her head away from the brunette and began to take in the scenery as well. "I come here a lot," Clarke said, gaining Lexa's attention. "At first, I came here to marvel at it all. Then, it became a place of solitude. I come here to be alone or to think, or to draw."

Lexa smiled widely at the slightly shorter woman and gently squeezed her hand, drawing her attention. Green and blue locked in to each other. Both women's eyes danced with happiness, joy and longing. It caused Clarke's mouth to slightly open.

"What is it, Klark?" Lexa asked with a grin.

Clarke smiled widely as she slowly leaned her face closer toward the ex commander's. "Why do you always make me want to kiss you?" She asked mockingly, before gently placing her lips on to Lexa's. The two lingered for a while, soaking in the moment. Lexa was the first to pull away. The two women smiled at each other for a moment before Clarke spoke again. "May I show you something else?"

"Clarke, wherever you lead, I will follow," Lexa said, a grin still plastered on her lips.

Clarke had led them back to the village, never letting go of Lexa's hand. On the way back, Lexa had taken note of the route, trying to get a better bearing of their surroundings. After walking past a few houses, Clarke led Lexa to a house that was slightly separated from the rest. It was farther away and surrounded by trees on every side but the front. The pair walked up the steps of the small porch and in to the house.

Lexa walked further in as Clarke shut the door. The house was one story. To the left was a small kitchen and a kitchen table with a few chairs. To the right was a small couch that leaned up against a window. Straight ahead were three doors. Lexa turned to look at Clarke, waiting for anything to come out of the blonde's lips.

"There's two bedrooms," Clarke began, "And the door in the middle is a bathroom. Charlie and Raven figured out an entire plumbing and electric system that doesn't cause any damage to the environment."

Lexa stared for a moment before speaking, "That's impressive."

Clarke grinned, holding back a laugh, noticing the confusion in the brunette's eyes. "This house is yours. Charlie was going to share it with you, but considering the circumstances…" she trailed off.

"I see," Lexa said. She pondered for a moment, analyzing her own thoughts and feelings. She moved over to the couch and sat down, staring at the blonde, waiting for her to join. Clarke grinned and made her way over, sitting as close as possible to Lexa without touching her. "Clarke," Lexa began, "May I ask you some questions?"

Clarke lightly laughed and her grin turned into a smile, "Anything."

"How long did it take you to wake up?"

"A few months," Clarke began. "I didn't leave medical for about a month after. I didn't really have any strength to walk at first. Did that happen to you?"

"Yes," Lexa replied, intently staring at the woman beside her. "Although, it took me longer. My body had not moved in a long time." Lexa slightly moved her body, facing more toward Clarke. "What has been happening with your body?"

Clarke grinned mischievously at the question, raising her eyebrow. The brunette slightly blushed, realizing the implication. "Right now? Or in general?"

The ex commander froze, the blush on her face intensifying. After a moment, she grinned and answered, "One requires you to tell me… the other, I can find out for myself momentarily."

The blonde was blushing now. She cleared her throat and turned her body more toward the brunette. "Well, I've gotten stronger, faster, more intelligent. I've strangely become more calm. But I think that's because of the practices Charlie has me doing. My body seems more intuitive. I instinctively respond to things in ways I never have. And it's almost like… I can feel people's emotions just from being in their proximity."

Lexa smiled and reached out to lightly touch one of Clarke's hands with her fingertips. "I can do something similar. I can not tell people's emotions, but I can read there body language without having to study them. It's as if I feel their body heat. Everyone's body temperature changes depending on the emotion they are feeling, or the physical state their body is in. It's as of I can smell intentions, like a wolf."

Clarke was staring at Lexa's hand tracing hers, barely listening. When she registered what the brunette said, she looked into intense green eyes, curious. "So you can tell when someone's about to go into a rage?"

"Yes."

"How about a mental break down?"

"Yes."

"When someone is attracted to you?"

"Yes."

"Can you tell when someone is turned on?" Clarke asked with a teasing glint in her eyes.

Lexa stopped tracing Clarke's hand and leaned slightly closer to the blonde. She allowed her eyes to roam the woman's body in front of her. When she stared back into mischievous blue orbs, she replied breathlessly, "Yes."

Clarke lunged on top of the brunette, trapping her on to the couch. She managed to capture the brunette's hands, locking them above her head. Their bodies were pressed tightly together, their legs intertwined. Lexa stared up at the blonde, a mixture of shock, intrigue and desire spread across her face. Clarke's eyes were flooded with with satisfaction, desire and a slightly mocking glint.

"Did you know I was going to do that?" Clarke husked, her lips inches away from the brunette's.

"No," Lexa breathed before connecting their lips.

Clarke sighed as she felt their lips connect, giving in immediately. She gripped the other woman's hands tighter and pushed herself closer. Lexa groaned from the contact, allowing the blonde to slip her tongue into her mouth. They kissed slowly as their bodies sunk deeper in to each other, their insides reaching out to one another. Clarke pulled away to lightly bite down on Lexa's bottom lip, gaining another groan. As she released the brunette's lip, she suddenly found herself being pushed over on to the floor. As she landed, she was braced by the brunette's hands.

Clarke looked up in shock into hooded green eyes. She shivered as she felt a thigh push down into her center, groaning loudly at the contact. Lexa snapped and drew the blonde back in for a fierce kiss. Her left hand gripped the blondes right hand as her other hand made it's way to curvy hips, squeezing once at it's destination. Clarke groaned again and bucked her hips, pushing the ex commander down, trying to get the woman closer.

Lexa pulled away from slightly bruised lips and began to kiss down a porcelain jaw line. When she reached Clarke's neck, she began to lightly bite and suck as she ground her thigh down again. The blonde squeezed the brunette's butt as she tried to pull her even closer, moaning loudly. Lexa growled and moved her lips down to Clarke's pulse point, biting hard, gaining another throaty moan.

"Leksa," Clarke breathed as her eyes rolled into the back of her head.

"Klark," Lexa husked before placing an opened mouth kiss on the skin she had just claimed. "Fuck," she groaned as she felt the blonde roll her hips up into her thigh.

A loud, thundering knock on the door caused both women to freeze. Their breathing was jagged and they stayed in place, waiting for whoever was at the door to leave.

"Clarke," a voice said loudly through the door.

"It's Madi," Clarke said.

Lexa quickly rose to her feet with a sigh and held a hand out for the blonde. After helping the woman up, Lexa stopped her before she made her way to the door. The two sets of eyes poured into each other as they smiled. "May I see you later?" Lexa asked. "back here?"

Clarke's smile grew before she answered, blushing furiously, "Yes." The blonde made her way to the door and calmed herself down before she opened it. Lexa was shocked to see the young girl. She had grown to be Clarke's height, and he hair was shorter. She was slightly muscular and stood tall and proud; truly looking like a warrior, like a Heda.

Madi looked at Lexa and smiled wearily, "Hello, Lexa."

Lexa nodded in response, a cold smile now gracing her lips. She was still upset with the young woman.

Clarke noticed the change in the ex commander immediately. She smiled at Madi reassuringly, causing the young woman's stance to slightly relax. "Are you alright, Madi?"

"Yes," Madi smiled at her mother. "I just wanted your help. Your mother and Charlie are fighting again."

"Oh boy," Clarke sighed as she brought a hand to her forehead, closing her eyes.

"This is common?" Lexa questioned as she approached the other two.

"Unfortunately," Clarke stated, clearly agitated.

"I'll help," Lexa said as she passed by the other two. Madi and Clarke exchanged curious, worried looks before following close behind.

The three quickly reached the center of town. There was a small crowd gathered around Charlie and Abby, who were having a stare down. It was quiet and pensive. Everyone in the crowd seemed to be waiting for an explosion.

"What's wrong now?" Clarke asked as she came up behind Charlie, looking at Raven for an answer.

"Abby asked Charlie if she did anything that was useful and they've been staring at each other since," Raven chimed in, shrugging her shoulders. "I got two weeks of rations that says Charlie wins this one," She added sarcastically to the blonde, getting an annoyed look.

"What do I do?" Charlie asked in a low tone.

"Yes!" Abby spat back, placing her hands on her hips. "What do you do? All you do is walk around all day, chatting it up. Or you disappear for days, weeks even! Everyone takes your orders and gives everything, and you seem to do nothing."

"Oh no," Clarke said as she felt the shift of emotions between the two women fighting.

"Well," Charlie began, "Today, I made bio degradable tampons so no woman here has to bleed all over herself again. I also figured out how to make the closest thing to pizza you'll ever know."

"You made pizza?" Raven questioned aloud in a dreamy voice, gaining a slap on her arm from Clarke.

"That's exactly my point! Nothing that's useful!" Abby shouted.

Charlie's jaw tensed and her eyes narrowed. She folded her arms over her chest and began to squeeze at them. "Nothing that's useful?" Her voice lowered a few decimals, and it caused Lexa to walk up right behind her. "I mean, maybe a tampon isn't any good for you since you're dried up and spent. But I'm sure every other woman here is going to love it." Abby went to speak but was cut off as Charlie continued. "I helped Raven build Tesla coils to provide energy. I helped her figure out how to build a plumbing and water system that doesn't affect the planet. I built irrigation systems. I figured out how to blacksmith the natural metals of this planet," her voice began to raise, and Lexa slowly began to reach her hand out. "I tested every plant and animal found to make sure it wasn't toxic! And I disappear to map out the fucking planet and to figure out what we've got going on here!"

Lexa grabbed Charlie's arm and slightly turned her so they were seeing eye to eye. "Breathe," she said lowly. Charlie immediately calmed and shock spread across her face. As she went to speak, Abby started in again.

"You've turned everyone here into monsters!" Abby shouted, regaining everyone's attention.

"Monsters?" Charlie questioned, her voice dangerously low once more.

"Don't," Lexa said as she lightly squeezed her friends arm.

"I'm not going to hurt her."

"I know," Lexa smiled at her friend. "But I also know that if you continue to act this way, you will regret it later."

"You're probably right," Charlie said as she turned her head back toward Abby. "But this needs to stop." Lexa slowly let go of Charlie as the woman approached Abby, stopping a few feet away. "I am not in charge Abby. I don't tell people what to do. I give suggestions, and they agree or disagree. I speak to your daughter, to Madi, Bellamy, Octavia, Raven, Kane and Indra about everything. I know why you're really upset. And if you'd let me help you, it would get better. Everything would get better."

Abby stared, slightly in shock. But after a moment, her face was once again contorted with anger. "And what is it I'm actually upset about?" She spat in a question.

"You want to get high and you can't," Charlie stated simply.

By this point, most of the crowd had dissipated. Only Clarke, Lexa, Madi and Raven remained. They watched intently, both curious and nervous.

"I don't need your religious bullshit," Abby said in an almost defeated voice.

"It's not religious," Charlie said with a small smile. "It's spiritual. There's a big difference. Please Abby, let me help you."

There was a long pause of silence as the two women stared at each other. Abby's face began to soften as each second passed. When she was about to cry, she turned and walked away.

Charlie looked down at the ground for a moment and sighed. She turned around to face the women behind her and smiled. "Well, that was a nice welcome back for ya, Lexa."

"Stop," Lexa said as she took a step toward her friend. "You do not need to pretend you're not sad. I know you are. And I know you regret what you've done."

Charlie stared at Lexa seriously, as did everyone else. It was clear to them that what Lexa had said was not just about the recent scene that had just been displayed. "Lexa…" Charlie began.

"I forgive you," Lexa blurted out, gaining surprised looks from everyone; everyone except for Clarke, who had a small grin on her lips. "I am not happy with you. I am still angry and hurt. But I do forgive you. You're my sister, and I love you."

"Lexa, tell me what I can do," Charlie began as she took a cautious step closer to the woman. "Tell me what I can do to make it right? I was wrong to do that. It was not my place. I thought it would eventually help you be whole again. That it would be in the interest of everybody for you to have your experience, wisdom and knowledge back. I was wrong. I was wrong to assume I knew better. I was wrong to try and play God. I was wrong to do that to you."

There was another long pause. Lexa and Charlie stared at each other intensely. Charlie's eyes shown with regret, remorse, guilt, shame, fear and a small hint of hope. Lexa's eyes were a clouded storm of emotions. After a while, Charlie looked away, clearly expecting the worst outcome in her mind.

"Like I have already said, I forgive you," the brunette said, causing Charlie took look back at her. "You have made it right. You have helped all of these people flourish and live. You helped save them. You saved Clarke. And I… I can see you mean your apology. I would like to rebuild our friendship. But it can not be on your time, Charlie."

Charlie nodded and a barely audible, "Thank you," left her lips before she turned to walk away. Lexa turned to face the three women behind her. Raven carried a shocked expression. Clarke was smiling, unable to contain how she felt about the display of openness Lexa had just shown. Madi was stoic, trying to hide her own guilt.

"Madi," Lexa said calmly, waiting for the young woman to meet her eyes. Madi took a few moments before staring in to the eyes of her predecessor, failing at hiding the slight fear she carried. "I do forgive you as well. I understand why you did it. And I also remember… our conversations. I was apparently part of the game as well."

Madi released a breath and Clarke stared at the two curiously. "What do you mean?" The blonde asked.

"The piece of me that was trapped within her, " Lexa began, "Wanted this to happen, wanted to be returned and made whole. That piece of me was the one who gave them the idea in the first place. That piece of me wanted… wanted to be free and alive again."

"Why didn't you ever tell me this?" Clarke questioned Madi, pain in her voice.

"It didn't matter," Madi said, smiling sadly at her mother.

"But I… I was so upset and angry with you. Why didn't you just tell me?"

"Because I still made the decision to do it," Madi said as she grabbed her mothers hand. "I could have ignored her. I could have chosen a different way, but I didn't. I played my own part, and I was part of it all. You had every right to be upset with me, Clarke. I always knew you loved me, that you do love me. At the time everything happened, I was upset. But I now see the truth, and I don't feel any type of way about any of it all. Other than regretting and feeling shamefully for what I have done."

Clarke squeezed her daughters hand before pulling her in to a hug. She held tightly as a few tears slid down her face. Madi hugged her back and held back the tears swimming in her eyes.

Raven cleared her throat, causing the woman to part and look at her. "I feel like I just witnessed a bunch of private shit and now… I feel super awkward. And I want it all to end."

There was a moment of silence before laughter erupted from Lexa's lips. All three of the other women stared at her in shock. As the ex commander continued to laugh, Raven and Madi began to chuckle themselves, being slightly intoxicated by the display. Clarke stood frozen in delight, taking in the melody leaving Lexa's mouth and imprinting it into her brain; never wanting to forget.

Lexa suddenly stopped laughing, a look of shock and happiness on her face. "Raven, your leg…"

"Oh yeah," Raven said with a smile, "Charlie fixed it… along with a lot of other things," she winked with a devilish smile.

"Gross," Madi said under hear breath, rolling her eyes.

"So, you have been…" Lexa paused trying to find the appropriate word, "Changed?"

"Mutated?" Raven asked, gaining a nod from the brunette. "Yeah. We all have. Everyone's bodies were having trouble adjusting, so we all went through the process."

Lexa looked shocked. "How?"

"Charlie's not the only one who can grant that gift anymore. It seems Clarke has 'inherited' that trait as well."

Lexa looked at Clarke, still in shock. As Clarke nodded her head to confirm, Lexa let a small grin grace her lips. "I always knew that you were capable of things the rest of us are not."

"Gross," Madi and Raven said in union, disgusted by the compliment.


	9. Chapter 9

It was early morning. The sun was slowly rising, casting out hues of orange, yellow and purple on everything it touched. Lexa sat in a field of grass and flowers, silently taking in the site. She hadn't been sleeping much. The clashing of multiple people within her was slowly tearing her apart.

There was Lexa, the child and young girl she was. A girl who was convinced that love, kindness and forgiveness were the answers to all things. That showing love, breathing love, being love was the highest honor in life. That child had loved vigorously. Yes, she had been taught to fight, and she had always been talented with those skills, but it had been for self defense, discipline and duty. All that child had ever wanted was to defend the helpless and share herself unashamedly.

There was the commander, Heda. The young teenager who grew into a fearless, cold young woman. The opposite of all she had known and been taught. Love was weakness. Love hurt too much to bear, especially personal love and relationships. That young woman had been drenched with worry, agony and fear. She was chained with responsibility and unfathomable tasks and choices. She was sent down a road that only few had wondered, beckoned to be an empty, raging force that would make her enemies bow down with a glance. She had become a hurricane. She loved how that person could bring together peace for her people. And she hated how she had had to sell her soul to do it. That person was tormented and broken. And when she had found love, when she began to breathe again, her life was snuffed out.

Then, there was the woman she had grown in to after she had been brought back from the dead. She had woken up confused and breathless, but her chest had been light. That woman had gone through challenges. She had to learn how to master her bodies new functions and control her erratic emotional state, but there had been no shame, guilt or memories of horrific violence and regret. That woman had began to sing, write, dance, play; it was like she was a child again. The only thing that felt out of place was a piece of her heart. And as soon as she had found Clarke, she new why her chest constantly ached.

And now, there were multiple identities fighting for dominance within her. She was beginning to have consistent headaches on top of her sleepless nights. She couldn't stand being around more than one person at a time. She found herself trying to figure out who she needed to be for each situation and she was becoming tormented. Never had Lexa in her life tried to change who she was, moment to moment, to try and feel comfortable around others. Yes, she had the mask of the commander, but it had a purpose; it wasn't because she struggled with knowing who she was or where she belonged.

Lexa took a deep breath in as she closed her eyes and slightly straightened her posture. She folded her legs and placed her hands on her lap, releasing her breath when she couldn't hold it for a second longer. After taking a few more deep breaths, she scanned over her body, taking time to concentrate on every muscle, limb, and piece of skin. She welcomed in the sound of the grass being lightly tossed by the wind, the birds calling in the early morning light, and the sound of rushing water as it cascaded down rock into a river that was close by.

Her breathing became her core focus. At first, there was relief. But slowly, that ache started up within her chest and the voices in her head started screaming. The brunette kept trying to refocus, but was finding it futile. As she felt herself about to snap, she was suddenly brought out of her internal struggle by a hand gently squeezing her shoulder.

She looked up to her left and found Charlie smiling at her sympathetically, knowingly. Her friend sighed heavily before sitting crossed legged beside her, Charlie could see the turmoil in her eyes, and she loved and hated it all at once.

"What are you going to do?" Charlie asked as she began to gaze at the rising sun.

"About what?" Lexa replied sharply, not wanting to have the conversation.

"Lexa…" Charlie paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. "This struggle going on within you, I know it. I know it well. I know what it's like to live multiple lives and have it leave you feel empty and overstuffed all at once. It's wretched. It's pure misery."

Lexa looked hard into the sky, her eyes filling with tears. "What did you do? How did you make it all stop?"

"Well, I tried drugs and alcohol for a long time, but that didn't work," Charlie laughed out, trying to lighten the mood a bit. "But, in all seriousness, I had to work on myself for a long time. I mean, I still work on myself, every day. But there was a time I needed to intensely just work on me. I had to walk away from a lot of things. Something bigger than me pulled me apart so I could become whole. And that's what I believe and feel to be true. But, regardless of weather there is a bigger force at play here, you need time to be with you, get to know yourself and mend."

Tears fell down the brunette's face for a few minutes as she stared at the sky. Her friend was right; she was lost. She had never felt so broken. As her tears began to subside, she looked at her friend, and was greeted by loving, tender eyes.

"I'm leaving for a while," Charlie started, "to map out the geography and take samples of plants and wildlife. All we know is whats in the immediate area around us. I volunteered for the task. Believe it or not, Octavia has volunteered to come with me. And I was going to ask… if you would like to come as well."

Lexa starred for a moment, slightly taken aback. If she were honest, everything in her welcomed the idea of getting away for a while. The only thing holding her back from instantly saying yes, was Clarke.

The two women had once again barely gotten to spend any time together. Lexa had expected it. Rebuilding a community takes a lot of effort and time; especially when trying to bring a species back from the brink of extinction. Still, she was disappointed. It felt like she had just begun to slowly get Clarke back in her life, and her heart ached at the idea of not being around the woman for a long period of time. But the turmoil and sadness in her chest was greater. It didn't matter how madly in love she was with Clarke. She could never really be with her if she didn't even know herself; she would have nothing to give.

"I will go," Lexa said in a determined tone, more for herself than her friend. "When do we leave?"

"Tomorrow," Charlie said, carefully taking in all of Lexa's reactions.

Lexa gasped. The idea of leaving Clarke was causing a not of pain in her chest and stomach, especially within a 24 hour period. But she knew deep down inside, she had to try something to find herself. She wouldn't be able to last much longer. "How long will we be gone?"

"At least a few months," Charlie responded. "This planet is massive and we hardly know anything about it, or the life on it. We don't even know if there's some other form of intelligent life. All we know is whats within a few clicks in every direction. We'll be making the journey by foot so we can map and scan everything. Stopping to study and take samples. It's going to be grueling and potentially long. But it has to be done for the good of everyone. And I feel like… I feel like if you were to go, it would give you a lot of time to get through whats going on within you. Octavia and I are not going to force anything out of you. And I can ramble to her for the most part," Charlie finished with a slight laugh, causing her friend to mirror the action.

Lexa nodded and took a few deep calming breaths. "I must go and speak with Clarke."

"Good luck," Charlie said as she rose to her feet, gaining a coked eyebrow from her friend. "What? We both know that Clarke will eventually understand. But we also both know she might punch you in the face as a first reaction."

Lexa laughed as she got up, knowing the truth in Charlie's words. Her face quickly became somber and she stared off at the sky once more, the sun holding it's place in the early morning sky. "I have to let her go," the brunette breathed, her face drenched in pain and sadness.

"Oh, don't worry," Charlie said as she patted her friend's back with a smile, "You two will always come back to each other. True love is like gravity. You can only go up so far until you come crashing right back down into the ground."

"How do you know I won't lose her forever this time?" Lexa asked sincerely. "It will be the second time I am choosing to walk away from her."

"No, you're not walking away from her. You're seeking yourself. There's a huge difference. Even I it takes her years, she'll understand and know that truth some day. We all have to walk away from people and things we love sometimes. It doesn't mean that we all won't find each other again. Bigger plans, remember?"

Lexa shook her head, a small smile tugging at her lips. "You are so sure of this Higher Purpose."

"It's what I believe," Charlie said with a huge smile. "And besides, even if you don't believe in a God the way I do, you believe in love. And love never dies. It can change its form, it can grow, but it never disappears. And true love is an unstoppable force. It always wins. I've seen it countless times. I've experienced it."

"But…" Lexa began, "You told me that you lost her."

"If I lost her, then she wasn't the one. Because true love always fucking wins. And there's more than one kind of true love. It includes friends and families, not just lovers," Charlie patted her friend on the back one more time, a smile gracing her face before she turned to walk away.

When Lexa had asked Clarke to come to her house earlier in the day, she had felt confident in her decision. She paced back and forth in her living room for hours, going over her thoughts and feelings again and again. But as more time went on, the more scattered and afraid she became. Which in turn, began to make her feel angry. She had never been like this in her life, and it was starting to infuriate her.

The sun was setting when Clarke finally knocked on her door. She answered it with a nervous smile, receiving a curious look from the blonde as she walked through the threshold. The pair sat on the couch in silence for a few minutes before Clarke began to speak.

"Lexa, what is it?" Clarke asked as she reached for the brunette's hand.

Lexa pulled her hand away, taking in a deep breath before looking up at Clarke with sad, remorseful eyes. "I'm l-leaving," she stuttered out.

"What?" The blonde asked as concern and fear lit up her face.

"I'm leaving with Charlie tomorrow."

Clarke starred at the woman in front of her hard as her insides raged with emotion. "What do you mean, you're leaving with Charlie tomorrow? Why? Why are you going? She'll be gone for at least three or four months, possibly a year. Maybe even longer! Why?!" Clarke ended her rant with a slightly elevated voice. Tears were building up in her blue eyes, and it was breaking Lexa's heart.

"Klark, I… I need to do this," Lexa said breathlessly, swallowing down the tears that threatened to build up in her own eyes.

"Why?!" Clarke shouted as she shot up from her seat.

Lexa took a deep breath before looking up at the blonde. "I don't know who I am anymore, Klark. I need to… I need to find myself."

"Why do you have to leave for an undetermined period of time to find yourself?!"

Lexa slowly stood up, tears now building up in her eyes as she watched the blonde begin to cry. She reached out and gently cupped Clarke's cheeks in her hands, brushing away a few tears before speaking, "The only thing I know, with every fiber of my being, is that I am completely and utterly in love with every single piece of you, Klark. I know nothing else. I have no idea who I am anymore. I have three different people inside of my head who are constantly fighting to be in control. I am broken. And I need time to be pieced back together. I can not do that here. I've been trying since I woke up, and how I'm feeling is only getting worse. Right now, I am only living for you and the love I have for you. I treasure that love and I treasure you. I am grateful to feel and know such a miraculous gift. But I should not just be living for you or for my feelings for you. I should be living for me as well. I should be loving myself and caring for my wants and desires, my dreams. You are my only want and desire, Klark. You are my only dream. And as beautiful and as wonderful as it is, it should not be the only thing I crave and dream of."

Clarke stared, speechless. She understood, she really did. And she had been taken aback when Lexa declared her love for her in such a way. But to hear her combine it with everything else, it was like a slap in the face. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths, trying to not let her stubborn, angry nature get the better of her. One of the last things she wanted was for Lexa to leave. They had just started learning each other again. But the brunette had a point. Clarke had other things in her life. She had her own wants, desires and dreams; and they weren't all about Lexa. She knew herself pretty well, loved herself even. She had an entire family that surrounded her and a new adventure she had been living. To hear that Lexa had none of that, felt none of that, broke Clarke's heart in a different way than it had already been breaking.

The blonde reached her hands up and placed them on top of Lexa's, where they still held her own cheeks. She opened her eyes and found a hurricane of green staring at her. She looked the ex commander up and down and realized the woman was slightly shaking. Those green eyes that were once so determined, full and strong, where now lost and petrified.

Clarke swallowed hard before speaking. "Leksa, I understand. I really do. But I'm selfish. I feel like I was just starting to get you back, and now…" Her voice cracked as she choked back a sob. "Now, you're going to leave. And it's breaking my heart." She let her tears come down full force as she continued to stare into timid pools of green, never breaking eye contact. "And what hurts the most is seeing how much pain you're in and knowing that there's nothing I can do to fix it or make it go away. I feel like I was so blinded by my own happiness and excitement, that I didn't even notice the aching in your heart. I'm so sorry"

Lexa gently kissed Clarke and pressed their bodies together, her hands holding on to Clarke's face for dear life. The blonde was trembling from the sobs she was holding back. As they continued to kiss, the brunette allowed her own tears to slowly fall down her cheeks.

As they slowly pulled their lips apart, their foreheads came together. They breathed in each other's air as they both tried to calm themselves.

"Klark," Lexa chocked out, getting the other woman's attention. "I do not want to leave you, but I have to. I can not live until whatever is going on inside of me is resolved. And I can not fully love myself or you until that happens either. I could not be with you if I keep going on this way. I would hate myself for not being able to live for me. And I would hate myself for not being able to live a real, full, open life with you. It would only cause more harm."

The pair slept in the same bed that night, weaving in and out of consciousness as they cried, kissed and stared at each other in silence. They drank each other in as much as possible, their bodies clinging together perfectly. There was no love making, no laughter or joy. There was just two breaking hearts, facing the truth and praying for the future to work itself out.


	10. Chapter 10

When Lexa and Clarke woke up the following morning, no words were said. They shared long looks and sighs, kissing in between. Lexa was packed and ready to go just as the sun was rising. They both let tears fall down their faces as they reached the pathway that led out of the small, growing town. They wiped their tears as they approached the group in front of them.

"Raven?" Clarke questioned upon noticing the woman.

"Don't worry princess, I'm just saying goodbye," Raven replied with a smile. "Bellamy should be here any minute as well."

"Are you ready?" Charlie asked Lexa with a timid smile.

Lexa nodded, afraid she would start to cry if she opened her mouth. Clarke's entire body momentarily stiffed when the question was asked. Her anger was building up inside of her from all of the pain she was feeling. She clenched her fists and her jaw, and stared coldly at Charlie before walking over to Octavia.

"Hey," Octavia said with a sad smile. "Don't worry, we'll all be back before you know it." She reached out and lightly squeezed Clarke's arm for an attempt at reassurance. "Nothing's going to happen. I promise. All the people are here. The worse we'll come across are some bears and lions," Octavia lightly laughed at her last words.

"Just… just come back," Clarke said before grabbing her friend for a fierce hug.

"Oh, they're all coming back," Raven interjected. "If they don't, I'll find their bodies, bring them back to life and kill them myself."

Clarke lightly laughed, the small warmth dissipating some of her anger. "I'll help you if that's the case."

"Hey," Bellamy said with a warm smile as he approached. "I've got you all bracelets for cataloging and communication." He passed them out, stopping as he gave the last one to his sister. "Octavia, please, be careful. Don't go trying to be a bad ass."

Octavia smirked, pulling her brother in for a hug. "Big brother, I'm just a bad ass. I can't help it."

Everyone laughed at the comment and continued small goodbyes. When Clarke and Lexa finally came together, they paused, staring at each other once more. The blonde crushed the brunette into a fierce hug, starling the other. They held on to each other, closing their eyes and taking deeps breaths of the other persons scent; trying to commit every detail to their memories. They slightly pulled away to look at each other. Green and blue met, and melded into a dark sea of sadness. Lexa was the first to break the silence.

"Klark, I will always come back to you. And I will always be yours."

Clarke pulled Lexa in for s searing kiss, pouring all of her love, pain and longing into it. The rest of the group turned completely around to not witness any of the display, talking awkwardly to try and ignore it.

When the two women finally pulled apart, they shared one last stare before Clarke spoke. "Please Leksa, find yourself. All I want is for you to be happy, safe and free. Find yourself, and come back home to me."

Lexa smiled at the words; her first whole hearted smile in what seemed like eternity. "You are my home, Klark. I will come back."

Clarke, Bellamy and Raven waved and shouted goodbyes as the group left into the forest. All sets of their eyes stared at their loved ones backs until they were no longer in site. Bellamy and Raven walked away, leaving Clarke to continue to stare. She couldn't move. She felt like she was losing Lexa for good, again, and everything in her was burning to ash.

A few weeks had gone by. Lexa, Octavia and Charlie had made it a few hundred miles northeast. They stopped every day, sometimes multiple times a day, to document everything that was foreign. Charlie and Octavia seemed to be becoming fast friends. The two had been acquainted, but they were beginning to become close. Lexa spent most of her time in silence, only speaking when necessary.

The sun was setting, and the group decided to make camp in a cave. Charlie lit the fire while Lexa laid out their sleeping bags. Octavia got to work on preparing food. When their meal was finally ready, the three sat around the fire.

"There's something strange about this cave," Octavia said with a mouth full of food. "It doesn't look like anything we've seen before."

Charlie looked up from her plate, food hanging from her mouth, and began to look around. She swallowed down the massive lump of food and stood up, seeming captivated by the black, shiny material of the cave walls. She reached the wall closest to her and grazed her fingertips against it, slightly gasping when she made contact.

"What is it?" Lexa asked.

"She speaks!" Octavia shouted, pleasing herself with her own joke.

Lexa rolled her eyes and stood up, walking up next to Charlie. As she touched the wall, her eyebrow raised. "This isn't natural rock."

At that, Octavia shot up and did the same as the other two, taking in the feel of the wall. "Holy shit."

Charlie suddenly looked around, examining everything in more detail. She stared hard to a spot on her left. There was a formation of natural rock and vines covering a large section of the wall. She walked over and punched the pile a few times, pulverizing it to dust. The other two women stared at her curiously, finding their friend ridiculous at the same time.

"What?" Charlie asked. "It was in the way," She continued as she ripped the last of the vines away, revealing a large, metal door.

"This place just got so much cooler," Octavia breathed as she walked up to the door.

Lexa followed slowly, trying to be cautious of any potential traps. "Octavia, you do not know if you will set anything off."

Octavia looked over her shoulder at Lexa, rolling her eyes. "This place is so old, that we thought it was a small mountain. I highly doubt anything works."

The ground started to rumble, causing Octavia to jump back. Charlie had moved a few feet to the right and found a panel. She had swiped her hand across it to clean it off, causing the new vibrations. There was a loud crank and a bang as the door began to slide open. It stopped with a loud thud, causing dust to fly everywhere.

Charlie walked through the threshold and dim, blue lights began to turn on with loud bangs. The three stared in amazement at what they saw. The room was large, painted in different shades of shiny, blue material. There were what seemed to be control centers and strange machines all around. It all began to turn on, leaving a low humming noise in the air.

"Well fuck me," Charlie breathed as she walked to the center of the room where the closest control center was.

Octavia and Lexa hesitantly followed, taking in every detail. When they finally reached Charlie, they stared at the woman with intrigue; she was typing away on an illuminated key board.

"How can you read that?" Lexa asked, noticing the strange symbols.

"I was taught it," Charlie said as she typed away, causing more strange symbols and designs to pop up on new, illuminated screens in front of them. "This is from what the top secret US government officials liked to call the creators. They had found technology, instructions and writings all over the globe. All from the same race. All from the same species that had claimed to bring our species to life."

"You're serious?" Octavia questioned with criticism.

"I'm over here typing away on a keyboard in a completely foreign language and you're asking me if I'm serious?" Charlie questioned sarcastically. She continued to type more furiously, until she found what she was looking for. All the tiny screens of information merged in to a giant display. Characters were scrolling across, making sentences. Charlie took a step back and began to read, leaving the other two to wait in anticipation. "Well fuck me," Charlie said again, a smile passing her lips. "Those sons of bitches weren't lying. This species really existed."

"As in past tense?" Lexa questioned.

"I don't know if they still do, but they definitely did. It says this was a world they colonized, hundreds of thousands of years ago. It was a resourcing planet for crops and raw materials. There was a very small population her."

"Where did they go?" Octavia questioned, her voice laced with excitement and a hint of fear.

"It doesn't say," Charlie continued. "Theres just one last log date." She typed on the computer once more and brought up the last log. She began to read it allowed. "It says, 'A foreign ship arrived today on the other side of the planet. Upon further inspection, it was found to be a party of an inferior species. One our ancestors brought to life. It appears they have come here to colonize. After discussion with our superiors, we were informed to make contact and reveal the truth to them. We will be setting out in two days time, armed, incase we are met with hostility. It's been deemed by our superiors that this lesser species is to be treated as our equals now that they've risen to a certain level of intelligence. I do not think it is a wise decision. From what I've read about this species, they are hostile and selfish. They rage wars over futile disputes and commit savagery on a daily basis. I will do as I am instructed, but I fear these people will bring nothing but chaos and destruction to our peaceful way of life.'"

The three stood silent, not sure how to take it all in. Octavia and Lexa looked at each other in amazement and disbelief. They were startled when Charlie spoke. "That was dated almost three hundred years ago."

"Why do you seem pissed?" Octavia asked.

"Because my brother was sent on a colonization effort. His ship would have arrived her around that time."

"That doesn't explain why you're pissed."

Charlie took a deep breath in and turned around. "My brother was an animal. He became cold and vile from the things we went through. At first, for a long time, I was sympathetic to him. I understood why he felt the way he did and how he became who he was. But after a while, I began to see the monster he was. He wasn't acting out in anger. He was doing violent, horrific things because he enjoyed it. He became a monster. He became so out of control, that the people who held us captive our entire lives gave him a ship, a crew, a destination, and sent him on his merry, murdering way. If he came here… it would explain why there's no one left."

"You think he killed them all," Lexa stated.

"Yes," Charlie breathed out lowly.

"So why don't we find out?" Octavia asked.

"We have a mission," Charlie said as she closed her eyes and took deep breath, trying to calm her unsettled nerves. "Once we finish what we've set out to do, I'll investigate this. Now, lets document everything before we go to sleep. Once we wake up, we have to keep moving."

A few more weeks had passed by and the group had not stumbled upon another hidden structure. Even though they kept themselves on the lookout for one, they continued to do what they had set out to.

Lexa had begun to cry at night, religiously. It was like she could feel pieces of herself dying. The agony and desperation she felt to be whole was consuming her. When she did sleep, she would have nightmares; memories or new imagined demons. She sometimes felt as if she wanted to die. But as she started to accept the anger and the pain, the remorse, guilt and the shame, a strange calming started to slowly creep up upon her. It was like she was dying and being reborn all at once. She was starting to realize that all those people she had been were dying and merging to make her anew. Or maybe it was that everything she thought she was, all of the bullshit, was being shed off, allowing her to be free; free with the experience of life and the wisdom of growth. She had moments of clarity like this, but they were few and far between.

Charlie made it a daily routine to have Lexa spar with her and Octavia. The two other women recognized the rage and hurt building up in the brunette, so they created an outlet that would end up helping all of them.

Time seemed to begin to fly by. Lexa was beginning to open up to her two companions. Octavia had began to as well. They shared their pains, their sorrows, their remorse and shame. They shared their found memories and happiness. They shared their grief and loss. They were all becoming more free by the day. And the brutal fighting every night helped with the submerged furry that sat deep down in all of their stomachs.

The group had been sending messages back to their camp the entire time. They sent logs, messages, pictures, videos and results of samples they had taken. The frequencies of the planet made it impossible for them to make live calls. But they were still keeping in touch on a daily basis.

After a few months of releasing her inner turmoil, Lexa began sending messages to Clarke every day. At first, she received few responses. Clarke was clearly wounded. But as time went on, the two began to communicate on a daily basis. Their conversations started off as how are you's and quickly turned into deep, intimate sharing. They spoke of their pasts in great detail and length. They shared their hopes, dreams and their hearts desires. Their shared their daily life and tasks. They were becoming closer then they ever had been.

It had now been almost a year since the group had left. They had grown into hardened, light hearted survivors of this new, beautiful planet. They reached their final destination point; an ocean.

They made camp on the beach that night. A fire danced as they stared at the stars and enjoyed each others company. The air was sweet and warm and the ocean brought in a cool breeze. As their conversations started to die down, Lexa noticed a noise coming from the tree line behind them. They became silent and listened intently, noticing the sound of foot steps.

Charlie stood to her feet and shouted, "Who's there?!"

The movement stopped. The three waited patiently, their senses on edge. Footsteps were heard again, this time walking toward them. The group stood, grabbing their swords as they waited for whoever it was to come in to view.

What appeared to be a man and a woman finally stood about ten feet in front of them. They appeared to be human, but different. Their skin was almost white. Their bodies were muscular and lean. Their ears were slightly pointed and their hair was so black it almost blended in with the night. The man's eyes were a piercing yellow and the woman's eyes were a bright purple.

The group stared in awe, unsure of how to proceed. Charlie dropped her sword onto the sand and slowly approached the two figures. When she was about five feet from them, she raised her hands in hopes of showing them she meant no harm and stopped walking.

The woman cocked a half smile in a sarcastic manner before speaking, "We've been watching you a while. If we thought you were a threat, you'd be dead." Once again, the group was amazed. They stood silently, clearly annoying the woman in front of them. "Why are you here?"

"We uhhh…" Charlie began, finding herself captivated by the woman in front of her. "We're just trying to get to know the planet better."

"No," the woman said sharply. "Why are you here, on this planet?"

"We had nowhere else to go."

The woman's face changed into a mixture of curiosity and annoyance. She momentarily thought and then looked at her companion. The man nodded. She looked back at Charlie curiously and began to speak again. "What did you do?"

"Personally, I didn't do anything," Charlie said, gaining another annoyed look from the woman in front of her. "Our planet was dying and we couldn't fix it. The group of people we arrived with are all that's left of our species. We came here to find a new home. We found information that stated this planet was habitable to us, so we came here."

"You are from Earth," the man said, his low voice startling Charlie and Octavia.

"Yes," Charlie said.

"They have no idea about anything," the man said to his companion. "We should meet their people. They are not like the others."

"Others?" Charlie questioned. "What others?"

The woman gave Charlie a hard look, sizing her up. She remained silent for a few moments before a decision and realization crossed her face. "You are related to him," the woman said at Charlie.

Charlies face turned to stone and her heart dropped. "Who?"

"The man who calls himself himself Ra. His real name is Jeremiah."

"That egotistical cock sucker," Charlie screeched, anger building up inside of her. "Where is he?!"

The two in front of Charlie were momentarily startled, clearly not expecting that reaction. Octavia and Lexa glanced at each other, also slightly taken aback by their friend's reaction. The two strangers looked at each other curiously and then back at the seething woman. "Who is he to you?" She asked.

"He's my brother," Charlie spat with disgust. "And if you would kindly point me in his direction, I'll fucking end his miserable existence."


	11. Chapter 11

Ten years were spent with this humanoid species the trio met. Ten years of learning about this new species culture, traditions, origin, technology and their once great galactic empire.

The creators had roamed across the galaxies over hundreds of thousands of years. They claimed to be one of the first inelegant beings the universe had given life to. As they expanded, they encountered what they called underdeveloped species. They elevated them, as they called it. Meaning they mixed their own DNA with that of a planet's native species, sometimes creating multiple versions until they were satisfied with the results. The human race was one of those species.

They created life for multiple reasons; the main one being work force. They made slaves to help keep their empire running, using them to collect natural resources. They would sometimes use certain species as warriors to spare less of their own.

They were one of the first intelligent species, but not the oldest, and not the only ones trying to claim habitable, fertile planets. There were wars that spread across the stars. The creators ended up winning every time. But eventually, there was a division amongst them. A good amount of the population no longer wanted to play God. So a civil war began within their empire.

Eventually, both sides came to terms with one another and claimed certain areas for themselves. A lot of the life they created had been abandoned during the process. They grew on their own, developing in their unique ways. Some reached the stars faster than others. Earth just happened to be one of the planets that had fallen to the wayside. So the creators left the planet be and just watched.

Eventually, the human race spanned across the stars. They sought to do the same thing as the creators; create an empire that stretched across space. When the first human space craft landed on a colonized planet of the creators, an entire new war began.

Jeremiah, Charlie's brother, met the creators with hostility. He began to slaughter them from the first moment he became aware of their existence. He had mutated all of his crew with his DNA. He even began to take the DNA from the creators to try and enhance himself and select others in his ranks.

More human ships came, and a massacre began. The two peoples had been at war ever since.

When Lexa, Charlie and Octavia learned all of this, they were horrified, infuriated and in slight disbelief. They were afraid of what the creators might do to their people, or of what Jeremiah might do to their people. They were infuriated by the entire situation. And they were in disbelief that they had escaped one nightmare and had been thrown into another one; and this time, it wasn't of their own making.

After some discussion and contemplation, the trio asked to help. The creators were untrusting and suspected alterior motives. So the trio were put through tests and trials. They were taught new fighting skills and given new weapons, learning how to use those as well. They even allowed the creators to unlock more of their DNA, so they would have a better chance of survival for the fights to come.

It was the alteration of their DNA that took the most amount of time. They were put to sleep while their very molecules were changed. When they awoke, it was in writhing agony. They all mutated in similar ways, except for some few varying traits with each individual. When they had completed the process of surgeries, a few years were needed for rehabilitation and monitoring. Once it was all over, the trio regrouped before they planned to head back to the people they had been cut off from for a decade.

The pair of aliens that had appeared on the beach, Eela and Kia, were chosen to head out with them. The plan was to explain the circumstances and supply the people with whatever was needed. And potentially recruit the willing to join the fight.

The group of five loaded supplies onto an alien craft before finally taking their seats. Eela and Kia began to bring the small space ship into the air when Charlie glanced at Lexa. The brunette had her old reliable, stone cold commander face on, but Charlie could see the fear in her green eyes.

"Hey," Charlie said, gaining the brunette's attention, "It's going to be alright. They probably all think we died. I bet they'll throw a party."

Lexa glared at Charlie before speaking, "That may be true. But Clarke will be infuriated. I've ruined any chance of salvaging what has been between us."

"Lexa, it's not like you just disappeared for no reason and ghosted her," Octavia said. "Once we explain everything, they'll all understand. Some of them might take a while to come around, but they won't be upset forever."

"Have you met Clarke?" Lexa asked jokingly, chuckling with distain. "She will hate me forever. She did not truly forgive me for abandoning her at the mountain until after I had died. This will be worse."

"I mean it's gonna be bad," the raven haired woman said with a small smile. "But trust me, Clarke will eventually forgive you. It might take a couple decades, but it'll happen. And what's twenty years when you can potentially live forever?"

Their conversation was interrupted by Eela, "We're here."

The ship landed with a light thud and a hiss of air was heard as the docking bay hatch opened. The trio took a deep breath before getting up and walking down the ramp. Once outside, they looked on the once small settlement with amazement.

There was now high shiny metallic walls covering every inch that was claimed. The opening they stood in front of had a massive gate that was open, revealing the roads and sturdy buildings that were now inside. There were children running around as their parents watched on with smiles. There were stores and bars. And that was just all from what they could see with a glance.

A guardsman approached at full speed from a distance within the walls. The trio stood still, carefully eying the guards that stood on top of the gate, weapons pointed at them. As they came face to face with the running guard, all three of the women smiled. A body collided with Octavia, muscular arms squeezing on to her as tightly as possible.

"Hey big brother," Octavia said with a laugh and a smile as she hugged him back.

Bellamy stepped back to look at his sister, disbelief, happiness and joy spreading across his face. "You're alive," he breathed before pulling her in for another tight embrace.

"Yes I am," Octavia said as she hugged her brother back once more. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

Bellamy released his sister and took a step back after a few minutes had passed. He looked at the other two women and then back at his sister. He looked passed them, finally noticing the small space ship behind them. "Where the hell have you been?" He asked, his eyes taking in every detail of the craft behind the three women.

"It's a long conversation we need to have with everyone," the raven haired woman said as she placed a hand on her brother's shoulder to get his attention back. "I'm really happy to see you Bell."

Bellamy smiled like a little boy on Christmas. "I don't have any words to express how I'm feeling right now. It's all good, I promise. I just… We all thought you were dead."

"We'll explain everything," Charlie interrupted, "But we have to explain it to everyone. It's a lot and it's important."

"Well I bet considering there's a high jacked, alien ship you three came riding in on."

"Is everyone well?" Lexa asked, her face emotionless.

Bellamy looked at Lexa with a glint of anger in his eyes before answering. "Yes. Everyone who was here when you ladies left is still alive."

Lexa's face softened a little bit and her body slightly relaxed. She let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding. "Would it be possible to round up everyone in charge right now? The information we have to share is urgent."

Bellamy nodded coldly at Lexa before speaking into his wrist band. "Emergency meeting in the hall. Ten minutes."

The trio followed Bellamy through the gates and down the streets of the now small city. As they walked, they noticed how many houses, shops, places of meeting and trading centers there were. There were buildings for education, for learning trade, even for art and music. They stopped in front of a larger building with high walls and two large front doors that was in what seemed to be the center of the city.

"You ladies ready?" Bellamy asked as they all approached the giant doors.

"As ready as we'll ever be," Charlie said as she glanced at her two companions.

Bellamy opened the doors and allowed the three women to walk inside. As the doors closed with a thud behind them, they all stared at the large round table in front of them. Their old friends were standing around it, having hushed conversations as they waited. When the door had closed, all heads turned to meet the three women standing in front of them.

Abbi, Maddi, Monty, Raven and few people they did not know looked upon them with shock and amazement. Indra and Kane were momentarily shocked and then smiled with joy across their faces. Clarke looked like she had seen a ghost, and the woman standing close beside her glanced between Clarke and Lexa with worry spread across her features.

The room was silent and it felt as if time had stilled. No one moved or said a word for a few minutes.

"Ummm…" Charlie began, clearly feeling uncomfortable in the situation, "Hi."

"Hi?!" Raven shouted before running over and pushing Charlie in her chest. "Hi?! That's all you have to say?! You say hi, and the other two are acting like their tongues have been cut out! Where the hell have you all been?! Huh?!" Raven pushed Charlie again before slapping her across the face.

Charlie rubbed her cheek and looked back down at the infuriated woman. "I deserved that. But, before you hit me again, we have a perfectly good and detailed explanation."

Raven slapped Charlie again before pulling her into an angry hug. "Don't ever fucking do that again," Raven said into Charlie's shoulder.

"I promise, I won't," the tall woman replied as she hugged the fiery hispanic back.

Everyone but Clarke and the brown haired woman that stood next to her came over and took turns hugging their friends. As they all began to walk over to the table to sit down, Clarke ran over to Lexa and punched her square in the jaw, sending the brunette backward a few feet. Everyone stopped and stood in place, unsure of what to say or do.

When Lexa rebalanced herself, she looked up to see smoldering, dark blue eyes staring at her. Clarkes hands where clenched into fists and her body was slightly shaking. Lexa took a deep breath and put on her old familiar mask of indifference and straightened her back.

"Are you done?" Lexa asked lowly, her voice void of emotion.

"Am I done?" Clarke repeated lowly, rage spewing with every syllable. "Is that all you have to say?"

The brunette sighed. "You are clearly upset. If I were to try and have a conversation now I believe it would only end with me having to fight you off. I do not wish to upset you any more than you are right now. If you would like to have a conversation once you've calmed down, I am more than willing."

The blonde was about to start screaming but was stopped by the brown haired woman that had been standing beside her a moment ago. "Clarke," the woman said sweetly as she positioned herself in front of the blonde and looked into ocean blue eyes. "Please, calm down. This is not the time or the place to do this. And besides, she's not worth anymore of your energy. She's taken enough of it, hasn't she?"

Clarke's body stopped shaking and her eyes slightly softened as she stared at the woman in front of her. "You're right Sara," Clarke said as she smiled at the woman, "she isn't worth it."

Lexa's heart clenched in her chest and it took everything in her to not let her emotions flood her face. But she knew, Clarke could see the hurt in her eyes. She looked away and became fixated with a pattern in the wood on the floor beneath her. She didn't move her eyes until she heard both of the women sit down in their chairs. Slowly, she made her way over to Octavia and sat down in the seat beside her, not daring to look up, since Clarke was directly across from her.

Charlie cleared her throat, gaining everyone's attention. "So, I'm just going to jump on in to this because I don't want to sit in the tension filled silence anymore. I suggest that Lexa, Octavia and I say everything we've got to tell you and then leave questions you may have for after. How does that sound?"

They all nodded in agreement and Charlie began to talk. Lexa dint's say a word. She could feel Clarke's eyes burning in to her with hatred, and it took everything in her not to fall apart in that moment.


	12. Chapter 12

Time seemed to still as Lexa cracked her neck and rolled her shoulders, staring down Octavia in the sparring ring. She took a deep breath in and held it as she watched the younger woman's fist clench. Octavia began to charge and pull her fist back. When it seemed like the younger woman was about to land a punch perfectly on the jaw of the ex commander, Lexa side stepped, causing the younger woman's fist to pummel into the ground from the momentum she had gained. As her fist hit the dirt, a small area of the ground cracked and sent rubble flying ten feet in all directions. Lexa pinned the younger woman to the ground in a head lock, and bound the other woman's arm with her free hand.

"Yield," Lexa said lowly. All she received in response was a loud, frustrated growl. "Yield, Octavia, or I will be forced to knock you out."

Octavia growled again before tapping out on the ground. Lexa released her and quickly stood, waiting for the younger woman to turn and face her.

"Don't be so upset, Octavia. You landed a lot of hits this round."

Octavia rolled her eyes as she rolled her body over and jumped up on to her feet. "Not enough," she muttered as she began to wipe the dirt off of her bare arms.

"You almost defeated me. Your downfall was your cockiness, as usual," Lexa said with a slight laugh. "Never assume you've won. The moment you do, you give your enemy the chance to take your life."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," the raven haired girl said with mocking hand gestures.

Lexa took a few moments to look around the giant sparring ring and noticed a group of her former grounders had gathered to watch. They stared with intent and curious eyes. She made eye contact with a giant man who seemed to be asking a question with his stare. The ex commander waved him over and he nodded before walking toward her.

"Commander," the man grunted out with a nod of respect.

Lexa internally flinched at the word. "I am not your commander."

"Apologies," he muttered before making eye contact. "You move faster than before. You hit harder. Both of you. Did the others teach you this while you were away?" He asked as he pointed at Eala and Kia, who were standing on the other side of the ring.

"What is your name?"

"Dyson."

"You fought with me against Azgeda."

"Yes."

"You threw a man twenty feet like he was a rock," Lexa a said with a smirk.

"Yes," Dyson said with a small smile.

Lexa reached out her arm and Dyson reciprocated. They greeted each other as warriors, and for a moment Lexa felt at home. "Please, call me Lexa." The man shook his head in compliance as they released each other. "And to answer your question, yes they did. They taught us all how to harness and concentrate our speed and strength better."

"Would you teach us?" Dyson asked, hope and excitement beaming in his eyes.

"If your leaders allow it, then yes."

"They don't need permission, Lexa," Octavia quipped in. "They can do as they please when it comes to personal decisions. It's not like how it use to be. At least, that's what Bellamy's told me. As long as they've attended to their duties for the day, they can do whatever they wish."

"Well then," Lexa said with a smile, "why don't we all meet here tomorrow before the sun rises. Anyone who wishes to learn may come."

Dyson smiled and nodded in agreement. He slightly bowed his head at Octavia and Lexa before turning to walk away and speak to his friends.

"This will be so much fun," Octavia said with a huge grin.

"Yes, it will be fun to watch you lose to someone else for a change."

"Hey!" Octavia shouted as she swatted the brunettes arm, getting a light laugh in response. "Anyways smartass, want to split up to shower and then I'll meet you at your house for dinner?"

"I thought you were eating with Bellamy tonight?" Lexa asked as the pair began to walk out or the sparring ring.

"I was going to, but it's still weird for me," the raven haired girl said as she shrugged her shoulders. "I mean, I come back, him and Echo are married, and they have twins who walk and talk. It's just… too much to handle today." Lexa looked at the younger woman with a raised eyebrow. "Listen asshole, don't get me wrong, I'm so happy to be back. I'm so happy for my brother. I'm happy I have a niece and a nephew. It's just… weird. I've only really been used to talking to you and Charlie for the past twenty something years. I mean sure, we had Eela and Kia around, and their people, but none of them really talk much. They just stare," Octavia wore a mocking face of the aliens as she spoke her last sentence.

"You don't seem to mind the stare when Kia is looking at you," Lexa said with a knowing grin.

"He's hot! I can't help it! I'll admit, I was creeped out at first, being attracted to him, because of the obvious appearance differences. But once I got over that, I couldn't help but drool. He's all tall and muscular, and he's so gentle."

"When are you two getting married?"

"Bite me," Octavia said as she walked up the steps leading to her small house.

"I have fangs now Octavia, don't tempt me," Lexa said as she continued to walk toward her home.

As the ex commander reached her front porch, she stopped to look upon the home surrounded by trees. It was the same one that was temporarily hers before she left. Every day she walked toward the house, it reminded her of Clarke, of what might have happened if she hadn't't left. She sighed and continued to walk into her home, shaking the what if's from her mind.

"Charlie?" She said as she shut the door behind her. When she heard no response, she began to strip her clothes, leaving a trail behind her as she walked toward the bathroom.

She flipped the dull light on and paused to take a deep breath. When she opened her eyes, she was staring at her reflection in the mirror above the sink. Her hair was matted with dirt and blood. Her eyes had bags under them from lack of sleep. There was a streak of mud across her cheek from where Octavia had landed a hit earlier in the day. She sighed again before she turned the water on and got into the shower.

She closed her eyes and concentrated on the hot liquid burning her skin as it made its way down her aching muscles as she leaned in to the wall. Slowly, she cleaned herself, taking her time to scrub all of the dirt and blood off. All of her concentration was put in to every small action she was taking. Charlie taught her this, to concentre on small tasks, to help teach her to be in the moment. If she was in the moment, she would remain, at the very least, calm. If she was in the moment, she wouldn't be thinking about Clarke.

When she was done, she turned the water off and stood still for a few moments in the steam that had built up. With one more deep breathe, she stepped out of the shower and opened the bathroom door. As she opened the door, she saw hands threw the billowing steam and she charged, pinning the person against the wall in the small hallway. She growled and her breathing slightly hitched as she caught the person's scent. "Klarke," Lexa breathed as she stared into confused blue eyes.

"Lexa," Clarke whispered in shock as she looked up and down at the naked, wet body that was currently holding her in place. She swallowed hard and let out a gasp before closing her eyes to compose herself. When she looked back in to dark, forest green eyes, she suddenly felt suffocated. "Lexa! Get off!" She shouted as she started to squirm.

"Klarke," Lexa let out lowly in a warning, causing the blonde to shudder and still. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to talk to you," the blonde said, trying to avoid eye contact at all costs. "Why are you naked?"

Clarke's question snapped Lexa out of the slight daze she was in, causing her to pause for a moment. The brunette looked at the woman beneath her, noticing red cheeks and hitched breathing. She fought a smirk. "This is my home. I was bathing. I thought that would be obvious considering you were about to sneak into my bathroom."

"What?!" Clarke shouted, making eye contact once more. "Sneaking?! I knocked!"

"No one answered," the brunette said as she tightened her grip on the blonde's wrists and pushed herself into her more.

Clarke bit the inside of her cheek, fighting the urge to respond to the increased physical contact. "I called out to you and to Charlie, no one answered," she said threw gritted teeth.

"So that's when you decided to sneak around?"

"I was not sneaking!"

"Then why were you silently about to open my bathroom door?" Lexa cocked her eyebrow as she asked the question, her eyes dancing with mischief. The blonde fell silent and stared into Lexa's eyes, burning with anger and frustration. The brunette sighed and released her capture. She quickly walked into her room to find clothes, missing the longing, confusion and pain in the blonde's eyes.

Clarke tightly closed her eyes and held her hands to her chest as she tried to steady her racing heart. There was a war going on within her. Once she heard what had happened with Lexa, Octavia and Charlie, and learned everything they had learned, witnessed, experienced and gone through, any feeling of betrayal had died.

The truth was, Clarke had forgiven her before she was hurt or had gotten angry. She forgave any way she thought she had been slighted or wronged. She understood everything. All she wanted to do was run to Lexa and kiss her the moment she saw her. And she was angry with herself for it.

The moment she saw Lexa, any thought, concern or consideration for Sara had been thrown out the window. Sara had been there for her when she searched for Lexa. Sara had comforted her when she was grieving over Lexa's death and disappearance. Sara helped her get back on her feet and loved her back to life. They had built a life together the past few years. It was a good life, a good relationship. Clarke was starting to plan a future with this woman… but she had also always known that Sara was second best.

When Lexa was dead, that was acceptable in Clarke's mind and heart. But now, it was eating the blonde up inside. All she wanted to do was run to Lexa and never look back. But how could she do that? How could she just throw Sara away after everything? She loved Sara, it just… wasn't the same. And that's why Clarke was angry. She hated herself for how she felt and what she wanted. She hated that she couldn't bring herself to be honest and get out of the situation. And she hated that Lexa was starting to believe that she was nothing inside of her heart.

"Clarke?" Lexa asked, her voice drenched with concern as she reappeared in the hallway.

Clarke slowly opened her eyes and turned to look at the woman she was truly in love with. She swallowed hard when their eyes made contact. She could see the worry and the regret swimming in green orbs. She could see the conflict raging underneath of that. All she wanted to do was reach out and sooth the war brimming underneath the hard exterior her love had made to try and protect herself from the world. "Lexa," she whispered, her voice cracking.

"Klarke?" Lexa questioned again as she slowly placed her hand onto of the blonde's, which still clung to her chest. When she felt the rapid beating of the blonde's heart, she froze. She swallowed hard and looked into an ocean of dark blue that seemed to be swallowing everything Clarke was. "Klarke," the ex commander whispered again. "I would give anything… anything to take back all that I've done to you."

The blonde closed her eyes again as she tried to fight back tears. Her heart was breaking. She wanted to tell the brunette everything. But she couldn't bring herself to, so she ran. She ran as hard and as fast as she could out of the house.

Lexa was about to chase after her when she was suddenly stopped by Charlie. "No," the taller woman said.

"She's not okay."

"Let her be," Charlie said as she blocked the hallway of the house.

Lexa growled and clenched her fists. "Move."

"You can't help her," Charlie said as she looked sympathetically at her friend. "What's going on inside of her can not be resolved by someone else."

"What the fuck does that mean?!" Lexa yelled, preparing to attack her friend. "MOVE!"

"Lexa!" Charlie shouted, snapping the brunette out of her anger. "I know you want to help her, to protect her. But you can't. What's going on inside of her can only be resolved by her. Just like how it was with you. She's not upset with you. So stop being a selfish brat and taking it so damn personally. She's fighting herself. This can only be resolved by her."

Lexa stared at her quizzically as she began to calm down. "What are you talking about?"

"You're so wise when it comes to anything and everything, except for when it comes to a matter personally concerning you," Charlie lightly laughed. "Just watch. Listen. Observe. Do what you need to do for yourself. If you'd stop obsessing over her being upset with you, when she's not, you'd be able to see the truth." Lexa stared at her, not amused by the vagueness of her friend's statements. "Just breathe. This is one of those situations that has to work itself out. You can't fight it with your words or fists. You can't protect her from herself. The best thing you can do is let her be. And if she chooses to talk to you, then be open."

Charlie turned and began to walk away, but she was stopped by Lexa. "You're really not going to tell me what you mean?" The ex commander asked, frustration written all over her face.

"It's not my place to tell you. It's hers. And like I said, if you pull your head out of your ass, you'll see the truth," the taller woman said as she patted her friend on the back and continued to walk away.

"Where are you going?" Lexa asked, in disbelief from the situation.

"To find Clarke. Don't you fucking follow me!"


	13. Chapter 13

Clarke laid in the tall, soft grass in silence as she starred up at the stars. She had mindlessly started to try and count them to try and ignore the pit in her stomach. It had worked for a few hours. But now she was more angry then before. All she saw when she looked up at the sky was Lexa and it was adding to her shame and guilt.

"What?" Clarke asked in annoyance as she heard foot steps approaching.

Charlie laid down beside the blonde in the grass. She stretched and yawned before looking at the angry woman beside her and smiled. "So what's got your panties in a twist?"

Clarke rolled her eyes in annoyance. "You can't just act like we're friends."

Charlie mocked hurt and clenched at her chest. "Straight for the kill huh? Well, we are friends, you don't have a choice. You can be mad at me all you want, but I know it's not me you're mad at."

"And how would you know that?" Clarke asked defiantly, glaring at the woman beside her.

"Because I've been where you are."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Charlie sighed and rolled her eyes. "You're in love with two people, in two different ways. One is true, unconditional love, and one is… well, a lesson."

The pair fell silent for a while. Charlie waited with a smile, taking in the beauty of the night around her. Clarke chewed on her lip for a moment, unsure of how she wanted to proceed. "How do you know that?" Clarke asked, deciding to let her guard down.

"Because I see it. It's happened to me," Charlie cleared her throat and looked back at Clarke. "Before the world went to shit, I fell madly in love with this woman. At first, I didn't want to admit it, or believe it. We had a relationship, it didn't last long, and I pretended to myself and to the world that I was fine. I logically deducted why it wouldn't have worked and why it wouldn't have ever lasted and pushed the hurt and pain away as far as I could. I never knew I could hurt like that…" she whispered as she wondered off in thought momentarily. "Anyway, I started talking to this other woman. She was beautiful, smart in ways I wasn't, funny, a free spirit, optimistic, and I was very attracted to her. It wasn't the same as the first woman, but it was still wonderful and magical in it's own way. I did love this woman, and I was in love with her at one point, but I was more in love with how she made me feel and how she made me forget about the first woman when I was around her or talking to her, for the most part."

Charlie paused and swallowed hard. She took a deep breath in and out before continuing. "We had a relationship, and there were parts that were nice and taught me a lot. I learned how to be more open and vulnerable, and how to communicate better. But I wasn't nuts about her. I was still crazy over the first woman. I never stopped being in love with the first woman. And once I realized I was still in love with the first woman, do you know what I did?"

Clarke rolled her eyes before speaking, "Let me guess. You told the truth, did the right thing, and ran off in the sunset with the woman you were really in love with?"

"What?!" Charlie asked in a surprised, raised voice before laughing. "Fuck no! Who do you think I am? Jesus? I'm a flawed, fucked up human being. No, I stayed in the relationship. The first reason being, I didn't think the woman I was truly in love with would be with me or want me. Especially since she was with someone else. The second reason being, that I still loved the second woman and I didn't want to hurt her. The third reason, I was comfortable and felt like it was good enough so why pass it up when the real thing would probably fail and blow up in my face, and then I'll be all alone."

Clarke stared at the taller woman, surprised by the honesty and ease of the conversation. "Wow."

"Are you judging me?" Charlie asked, faking offense.

"No, you asshole, Im just surprised."

"Okay, well, good. Anyway, this second woman I was with, she could feel it. She could tell that I wasn't all in, that part of me was somewhere else. It touched on her insecurities and it would cause fights and then I started to resent her which led to more fights. And I still stayed because I had made up my mind that this was going to work, that I was going to live and die by this woman. But eventually, I was forced out of the relationship because of her choices and actions. And so you know what I did? Because I'm a selfish prick, I ran to the first woman and told her that I was in love with her, that I had never stopped being in love with her, and that I wanted her ad only her. But by then, it was too late. She was still in love with me and she wanted me, but she was in the same situation that I had just gotten out of. And plus, the fact that I had just been forced out of the previous relationship didn't make me look sincere and shit. I got mad because I wanted her to just stop and be with me. Which was unfair, because it took an outside force to push me out of my relationship I had been in. So my heart was broken in two different ways, and I was left with just me."

Clarke stared at her friend in anticipation, waiting to hear what happened next. As the silence prolonged, the blonde once again rolled her eyes and asked, "What happened next?"

"I never got to be with her again."

What the fuck!" Clarke shouted as she sat up. "What the hell kind of inspirational story is that?"

Charlie laughed as she sat up, shaking her head. "It's not an inspirational story. It's a true story."

"So whats your point?"

"My point, is that I led someone on for years and ended up hurting three other people and myself because I couldn't just own up to how I felt and do the right thing in the first place, regardless of the outcome."

The two sat in silence for a while. Clarke mulled over the story as Charlie stared at a patch of nearby flowers that were glowing in the dark of the forest.

"So," Clarke began, "you're saying that I should just be honest."

"I'm not saying you should or shouldn't do anything," Charlie said as she brought her attention back to her friend. "I'm just sharing my experience with you. Living a lie, in any way, never ends well. Living in truth, as hard as it is, always leads to the hearts desire. At least, that's my experience. But what do I know, I'm only hundreds of years old."

Clarke smacked Charlie's arms and lightly laughed. "You're such a sarcastic ass."

"I know," Charlie said as she beamed a smile at her friend, "and you love me anyway."

"But really, what do you think I should do?"

The taller woman took a deep breath and got serious. She pondered for a moment before looking the blonde in her eyes and speaking. "I don't know what you should do. I'm not an expert on the language of the heart. I've been running away from mine for so long, that I haven't been able to hear it most of my life. There's always a risk in every path we choose. There's always a chance of success and failure. There's always a chance of joy and pain. I just know that, I would personally rather live in truth and listen to my heart. I've made the mistakes to learn from. I have the regrets and the what ifs. Ive had to deal with them and learn to forgive and let go. And it can still come up. Because when you find true love Clarke, in any form, with anyone, it's undeniable. It never fades, it never leaves, it only grows, no matter what. Think about Madi, about your friends, your mother… no matter what happens or doesn't happen, the love just always grows. I've hurt enough to know what I feel like is worth the risk and what isn't. But just because I've learned doesn't mean you'll take that and go with your heart, no matter which way it pulls you. The truth is hard, but it's the good call. Because the truth always comes to the light anyway, regardless of what we choose and do."

"I can't hurt Sara," Clarke said above a whisper as she looked down at the grass, her eyes beginning to tear. "I don't love her like how I love Lexa. It doesn't even come close. But she was there for me. I was a broken mess, I was in pieces, and she helped put me back together." She began to let the tears flow as she spoke, holding back the sobs caught in her throat. "She saved me from myself. I was going to give up, quit. I was just going to wither away and be an empty shell. I was only going to live because of Madi. Sara has given me everything. I owe it to her to try. I owe it to her."

Clarke began to hysterically cry. She held her knees to her chest and hid her face between them. Charlie sat beside her in silence as she rocked herself back and forth, her agony escaping with each sob and scream. When she finally started to calm, Charlie cleared her throat to get the blonde's attention. When Clarke looked up, Charlie began to speak. "That's your first mistake right there. Living for anyone else will always bring you misery. You need to live for you Clarke."

The smaller woman wiped her face with her sleeve and took in what her friend said. "You're right," she said as she looked Charlie in the eye.

"And you're second mistake… I mean, come on Clarke. If you were with someone, and they said they were with you because they owed it to you… how would that make you feel?"

"Like someone punched me in the gut," Clarke said lowly, taking in the moment and everything that was being said. "I would feel used, betrayed, violated, and hurt."

"Alright, so you've answered your own question about what you should do. The real question is, are you ready and willing to do it?"

As Clarke sat there and realized her answer, she felt her breath leave her lungs. Tears were threatening to burst from her eyes again, and her throat suddenly felt dry. "No," she squeezed out, "I'm not."

"Then, there's your answer."

"That's a fucked up answer," Clarke whispered out with a bitter laugh.

"If it's true, that's all that counts," the taller woman said as she shrugged her shoulders. "Do I think you should leave this woman? Yes. Because it's not fair to her or to you. But if you're not ready, then you're not ready. And the truth will always set you free. Its not a dumb saying for no reason."

"I hate myself right now," the blonde said with a defeated, bitter smile.

"Well, at least your being honest. And I can tell you, the moment you walk away from Sara, you'll stop hating yourself by at least fifty percent. That self hatred shit won't get you anywhere good anyway, just sayin. All it does is perpetuate the same fucked up cycle."

"But I want to leave Sara, I just don't know how. And I can't," Clarke choked out her last sentence, a tear sliding down her face.

"She's got you all twisted up doesn't she?" Charlie asked with a cocked eyebrow, intriguing the blonde. "I mean, you kinda sound like you feel like you need her. And if thats the case, then she didn't help you at all. She calculated how to get you wrapped around her finger, conscious or not. And before you go arguing with me blondie, nothing that I'm saying is going to change anything anyway so chill. Nothing will change until you've had enough."

"Had enough of what?" Clarke asked after another prolonged moment of silence.

"Pain."


	14. Chapter 14

Lexa sat by the alien space craft in the grass, waiting patiently. Her attention was drawn to a deer in the distance that was grazing. It walked so calmly on all six of it's legs, leisurely striding. The wind blew and her scent went flying toward the deer. It paused and looked in Lexa's direction. The ex commander was sure it would run off, but the deer just stared. It took a large in hale and exhaled with a sigh before continuing to graze.

Lexa envied the deer. The animal was so calm, so free, so present and in the moment. It didn't seem to have a care in the world. She wondered if she would ever know what that felt like.

"We are ready," Eela said as she walked up behind the brunette, startling her out of her thoughts.

Lexa stood and turned to face the alien. The woman was ready for combat. She was covered in light armor that had guns and knives strapped down in multiple places. It was very similar to Lexa, except she had no guns.

Kia walked up and nodded toward the two woman. He lightly smiled and walked on to the ship. "Does he ever talk?" Lexa asked the purple eyed woman.

Eela's lips slightly turned up, "On occasion. He does not speak unless he feels something needs to be said. A lot of my people are that way."

"Hey," Charlie said as she approached, "Is everyone ready?"

"Just about," Lexa replied. "We're waiting for Octavia and a few more of the people who volunteered to come."

"Remember," Eela said as she stared down Charlie, "This is recon. We don't know why Jeremiah has returned. He could just be passing through, trying to salvage some materials. He has not been here since his first massacre upon my people."

"I know," Charlie replied lowly. "If I feel like I'm going to try and rip his dick off, I give you full permission to restrain me."

"I did not know I needed your permission to restrain you," Eela said with a smirk and glint in her eye before walking on to the ship.

Charlie looked at Lexa and found the woman staring at her in disbelief. "You slept with her," the ex commander stated.

"I mean, yeah… a few times," the taller woman said as her cheeks flushed.

"I can't believe you."

"What? She's hot, I'm hot. We both get horny and lonely, and we-"

"No more, please," Lexa interjected, a slight cringe on her face.

"Did the commander here find out you slept with E?" Octavia said with a smile as she joined her friends.

"You knew?" The brunette asked, shock crossing her features.

"Yeah, they weren't quiet about it. I honestly don't know how you never heard them." Lexa shook her head and rolled her eyes before Octavia continued speaking. "By the way, is their anatomy the same as ours? Or similar?"

"Yup," the taller woman said as she wriggled her eyebrows at Octavia.

A group of people approached, mostly grounders, and all nodded toward the three women as they entered the ship, on by one. Right behind the group, Bellamy and Clarke followed. Lexa froze and her body stiffened. Her mask went on and her hands folded behind her back. She hadn't spoken to Clarke since the blonde had broken in to her house, and that was about a month ago.

"We're coming," Clarke said.

"You haven't been training with us," Lexa said, her voice void of any emotion. "If this turns into a fight, you both will be a potential liability. Neither of you have fought in years. You're not prepared."

"It's a volunteer mission," the blonde fired back. "You can't tell me no. I'm going. Bellamy is going. We're leaders of our community and we have the right to go. The last time we sent the three of you out to obtain information, you disappeared. It's not happening again. We're going."

Clarke folded her arms across her chest and stared down the ex commander. Her blue eyes were on fire, and the brunette knew there was no talking her out of it. "Fine, but neither of you are leaving my sight."

The group walked on to the ship and the door closed with a thud behind them. They sat down and strapped themselves in, silence over taking them all. "ETA is ten minutes," Kia said over the speaker of the ship from the cockpit. The craft slightly shook as it took into the sky.

Most of the group began to talk to pass the time and settle their nerves. Bellamy and Octavia were talking about his children and their latest shenanigans. Charlie was speaking to a few of the people who had volunteered. Lexa and Clarke both sat silently, desperately trying to avoid eye contact with one another.

Lexa closed her eyes and started to concentrate on her breathing. She had barely seen Clarke in a month and now she was heading into a dangerous situation with her. She wanted to yell at the blonde. She felt hurt, rejected, betrayed, confused, and most of all, she was afraid. Her fear of something going wrong was slowly eating away at her. It was making its way from the pit of her stomach to her lungs. "Whatever is out there," Lexa thought, "please, let them all live. Let Clarke live."

"Is the great commander scared?" the brunette heard Bellamy ask, tearing her away from her thoughts. As she opened her eyes, she found a smug smirk on the man's lips.

"I am no longer the commander," Lexa replied calmly, her features cold.

"You didn't answer my question."

"I am concerned."

"No need to be," Bellamy said with a confident smile. "We always pull through. How many times do you have to underestimate us all until you realize that?"

The ex commander cocked an eyebrow at the statement. "You are right. Everyone here has always made it. But it's always been barely, and there's always been loss. I am concerned for everyone's lives. I was always this way. Any time I have gone in to a battle, or a potential one, I worry for the lives of my people."

Bellamy stared at the woman across from him in shock. "Wow."

"What?" The brunette asked, slight annoyance in her voice.

"That's the most you've ever spoken to me."

Clarke snorted at Bellamy's statement, catching everyone off guard. She looked at the man and began to laugh, and Lexa was momentarily lost in the sight before her. "Bellamy, you're an idiot," Clarke said with a smile still on her face.

The ship abruptly landed, causing everyone to snap out of their discussions. Eela and Kia were suddenly in front of the group, waiting for their full attention.

"They've spotted us," Eela said, her voice laced with anger.

"I thought you said the ship was cloaked?" Octavia asked.

"It was. Their sending a signal that's jamming the cloaking device. A group of them is heading for us as we speak. I suggest most of you stay on board for the moment. If it gets-" Eela stopped mid sentence when she saw Charlie run out of the ship. The woman ran to catch up with Charlie, and Lexa, Octavia, Clarke and Bellamy were right behind.

Charlie stopped a few feet outside of the ship. She was intently staring at a spot of trees. She began to lowly growl and her body stiffened and her fists clenched. Eela put her hand on the other woman's shoulder and said, "Be calm."

"It's him," Charlie spat out.

Octavia and Lexa stood beside Charlie. Clarke and Bellamy were right behind them, looking at each other in confusion for a moment. Within a second a small group of people appeared a few feet in front of them. In the front stood a tall, lean man, who looked like a small mountain. He smirked jokingly at Charlie as he pushed his dark hair out of his face.

"Sister," his low, bellowing voice breathed out. "I'm so happy to see that you are alive."

"We both know you don't feel a damn thing," Charlie spat as she stared him down.

"Ouch," he replied as he placed his hand on his chest mockingly. "This is how you greet your baby brother after lifetimes apart? I'm hurt." He eyed Eela up and down, disgust growing on his features. "I see you still like playing with trash."

Charlie growled loudly, her fangs slightly showing out of her mouth. "Can we be done with the windy bullshit that comes out of your mouth? I'd like to get to the part where I beat your face in."

Jeremiah raised his hand and signaled a woman behind him to walk forward. The woman removed her helmet as she stopped beside the giant man, causing Charlie to freeze.

Lexa looked and began to take the woman in. She was tall and thin, but curvaceous. Her bright brown eyes were slightly covered by the blonde hair the hung in her face. She stared at Charlie with a fake smile dancing across her lips. But the woman's eyes screamed pain. And that's when it clicked in the brunette's mind.

"Lila," Lexa whispered as she looked back at her friend. "I thought…"

"Did my sister tell you she was dead?" Jeremiah interrupted. "Well, she was. I killed her. But, as you can see, I brought her back to life."

Charlie snapped out of her shock and stared at her brother with intense animosity and hurt. "You think this makes up for what you did? You killed her. You chained me down and you made me watch you torture her to death!" The taller woman screamed her last sentence, her body shaking once more. "You think because you brought her back to life, everything is going to be swell between you and I? It wasn't just about her, Jeremy! You slaughtered and tortured countless, innocent people! And you did it for fucking fun! And now you've come across the galaxy and you're doing it again! You're a fucking disease! All you do is bring chaos and death everywhere you go!"

Clarke made her way between Lexa and Charlie and placed a hand on her friends shoulder, gaining the taller woman's attention. "Is that her?" Clarke asked. Charlie slightly calmed down and shook her head. "Well, no wonder you're so upset. I would be too. But I need you to breathe. We didn't come here to fight."

"No, you came here to spy on me," Jeremiah cut in, rolling his eyes at the display in front of him. "Listen Charlie, you need to get over all of this. She's alive. She's fine. Our debt is settled."

Before Charlie could say anything, Lexa began to speak. "What are you doing here?"

Jeremiah looked the ex commander up and down, sizing her up. "I am here to collect what is mine. I left equipment here. I did send a team at first. But when I heard my sister was here, I had to come."

"Why?" Charlie asked, barely containing her anger.

"Why?" Jeremiah asked, genuinely stunned by the question. "Because you're my sister. Believe it or not, I do love you. You're the only person I love. When I found out what happened on Earth and I thought you were dead, I killed an entire populous of people in a rage. I wanted to see my sister."

"You're disgusting," Charlie spat through gritted teeth.

Jeremiah rolled his and crossed his arms over his chest. "Are you done with the name calling? You're so inconsiderate. I crossed a few galaxies to come here and see you."

"And I'm guessing I should be honored?"

"You could at least show a little gratitude!"

"Oh yeah, sure. Thanks bro for taking the time out of your genocide campaign to come and see me. Much appreciated!"

"You two never change," Lila said, gaining everyone's attention. "Charlie-"

"Don't fucking talk to me!" The taller woman yelled. "You're no better than him! You all show up here to colonize one planet and you start killing innocent people! You're disgusting!"

"You're such a self righteous shit," Jeremiah said. "Listen, I came here to see you. You're clearly not ready. I'll come back another time. Oh, and until then, don't get in my way. These people will die."

"Fuck you," Charlie spat out, the bitterness drenching her voice. "You can't just go around killing people because you're angry, or you feel like it, or because you want to play God."

"Yes, I can. I've been doing it almost all of my life. And these things you're associating with, their not people. THEY are the monsters. They went around playing God. They are the reason you and I exist. I'm going to fucking kill them all. They've had their time. They've fucked up enough. Its my turn now."

Suddenly, Charlie rammed her brother to the ground. She began to viciously punch his face. He rolled her over and pinned her down, but she flipped him on to his back again and continued to beat him. The pattern continued to repeat. Jeremiah would send Charlie flying away, only to have her right back on top of him. This went on for a few minutes, until finally, one of Jeremiahs soldiers shot Charlie repeatedly in the back.

The taller woman's body jerked as the armor piercing bullets tore through her skin. Her blood spewed in every direction and all over her brother beneath her. Lexa charged at the woman firing, and in one sift movement, cut her down with her sword. Charlie's body collapsed onto the ground, soaking the grass in black blood. Her body was convulsing and she was gasping for air. Lexa, Octavia and Clarke ran over to her, while Eela and Bellemy raised their guns and kept them on the group or soldiers in front of them.

"Clarke," Lexa said in a panicked tone. "Can you help her?"

Clarke looked down at her friend and a wave of powerlessness washed over her. Her stomach began to churn. "She's bleeding too much and there's too many wounds. The only chance she has is if her body starts to heal itself. But I think she's too wounded for that to happen."

Jeremiah sent Lexa flying in the air and knelt down against his sister. He cut open his wrist and forced her mouth open. "Drink," he said. Charlie moved her head away and refused. Jeremiah grunted in frustration and forced his blood into her mouth. He held her mouth closed and blocked off her airway until she swallowed. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she passed out, causing her body to finally still.

Lexa came running toward Jeremiah and kicked him in the side of his stomach, causing the man to fly a few feet. "What did you do?!"

Jeremiah grunted in frustration as he got up and walked back toward the group of women. "I healed her. Don't touch me again. I'm giving you one warning. And you're only receiving it because you killed the stupid bitch who shot at my sister."

It was Lexa who was growling at the giant man now. She could feel the anger boiling her skin. The feelings or rage that were about to come flying out were stopped by a hand gently squeezing her leg. The ex commander looked down at her injured friend.

"Don't," Charlie whispered.

The brunette looked up and glared at the man once more. "Charlie is right." The man coked an eyebrow at the brunette. "I have been around you for ten minutes and all the has happened is chaos and death."

"She started it!" He cried like a child.

"Please do not think I am stupid," Lexa said as she stared into his mischievous, grey eyes. "You put on this show for a reason. You antagonized her for a reason. You are a clever man who likes to play games with his prey. Put on a show all you want. But know that I see you."

Jeremiah seemed to get uncomfortable by the ex commander's last statement. His entire demeanor changed and his eyes became cold and lifeless. "You're right," he said flatly. "Everything I do has a calculated reason behind it. She knows that. That's why it's so easy to get under her skin."

"What do you want?"

"Everything," he said with a wicked smile. "I take what I want. And I will have what I want. I always get what I want."

"You're avoiding the question."

Jeremiah laughed lightly. "Do you know why I was sent here? I was sent here to seek these disgusting creatures out," he said the last sentence while pointing at Eela. "I was sent to seek them out and ask for help. When I got her, I asked that little bitch's father for help. And he looked at me with a smile and said why would we ever help an inferior race like you? And that's when I knew. I knew that these creatures were the same as the monsters that made me into the beast that I am. They need to die. You've only been here, on this planet. None of you have any idea what's going on out there. In fact, the creatures left behind here have no idea. They were left here as small children, to fend for themselves. I've left this planet alone because they are the only ones out of their entire species that haven't grown up thinking they're the most magnificent being to ever exist. The one's here can live as long as they don't get in my fucking way."

Lexa rolled her eyes before speaking, "So you are trying to convince me that you're doing the universe a favor by slaughtering millions of people?" She shook her head in disbelief. "Do you know what I think? I think that when he told you no and that you were inferior, it hurt your feelings. And because you are so sensitive and crazy, you decided to kill them all. You are afraid they are right about you being inferior. Personally, I think they're right about you."

Jeremiahs eyes flinched at the last comment. He smiled and suddenly shoved a dagger into Lexa's stomach. She grabbed ahold go his hands to stop him from plunging the blade any further. Clarke went to jump on him but was stopped but Charlie.

Charlie jumped up and pushed her brother, sending him flying fifty feet. She pulled the dagger out of Lexa and examined it. Her eyes went wide and she threw the dagger on the ground. "Get Lexa to the ship, NOW!"


	15. Chapter 15

"She's dying," Clarke muttered in a panic.

"I know," Charlie shot back as she stared helplessly at her friend.

Lexa laid in the med bay, a breathing machine connected to her. It had been a few weeks since their encounter with Jeremiah, and her condition was only getting worse. Nothing the group did helped. In fact, every time something was done to try and improve Lexa's condition, it made it worse.

"It's the venom," Charlie said. "It's his venom. Only he can fix it."

"So we go fucking get him!" Clarke yelled.

"No," Charlie said. She looked the blonde in the eye, "I go alone."

"Are you out of your mind?" Octavia interrupted from behind the two women.

"Always," the taller woman sarcastically replied. "I'm what he wants. So I'll offer him a deal. He'll take it."

"What makes you so sure he just won't kill you?" Octavia combated.

"I truly am the only person he loves. The minimal amount of emotion he's capable of having has always been toward me and only me. I am the one person he wants around. I am the only one he can't kill or watch die. I'm his twin. He views me as a part of himself. In his sick twisted mind, I am the only one on his level. The only other being good enough to exist."

"What are you going to do?" Clarke's voice came out pained.

"I'm going to give him an offer. And if he doesn't take it…" Charlie looked down at her friend, heart ache written across her features. "I'll destroy the one thing he cares about."

"No," Octavia interjected. "No, Lexa wouldn't want that. I don't want that. I'm sure Eela doesn't want that."

"None of you have a say," the taller woman said dejectedly. Before another word was said, Charlie was gone.

"Sister!" Jeremiah called out with a pretensions smile. He waved happily as he sat on his metallic thrown. "I must confess, I thought I would see you sooner. The woman is stronger than I thought."

Charlie's foot steps clunked on the metal floor as she approached her brother. She glared at him as she stopped, keeping distance between them. "I have an offer."

"Correct me if I'm wrong love, but I do believe I have the upper hand."

Charlie pulled a long dagger out of it's sleeve and placed its sharp, black point above her heart. She began to push down slowly, starting to break the skin. "I will make you an offer. If you refuse, I will kill your favorite play thing."

Jeramiah's face grew serious. He stood and stared down his sister. "Speak," he commanded, knowing his sister was serious.

"You will heal Lexa. You will never use your venom on her or any of the living beings on this planet again. You will not harm anything or anyone on this planet again. The people I came her with, every person they spawn, the peoples native to this planet and every person they spawn, you will inflict no harm of any kind to them. You will not kill, torture or main ANY of them. You will leave them be to live their lives. You will do nothing to affect this planet or the solar system it lives in. This entire system is off limits to you and to anyone else who would do it or anything in it harm. You will keep harm from entering this solar system and you will protect these people from other forces that may and will threaten them. You may not use me to harm them or anything in this solar system. You may not use me to do your bidding. I am my own person. I am free to do as I wish and live as I wish to live. I will defend you. I will protect you. I will be by your side for the rest of my life. I will help you fight your enemies, as long as they are not those I have listed. I will not commit any diabolical act for your amusement, or in general. These are my terms."

Jeremiah stared his sister down coldly. He faked a smile before speaking. "And what exactly is in this for me?"

"I won't get in your way any longer. I am by your side, always and forever. I am yours."

Jeremiah smiled wickedly. He walked down the few steps from his thrown and stopped in front of his sister. "Agreed."

"Before this agreement has come to a close… I will bring her your antivenom. I will administer it and wait until she is healed. If she does not fully recover and if you tamper in any way, you must live by my design until the end of your days. So if you purposely fuck any of this process up Jeremy," She leaned in closely to her brothers face, a devious smile dancing across her lips, "I will own you in every way."

Jeremiah shook his head in agreeance. "Once she is fully recovered, you have 24 hours to return. If you do not return, I will kill them all. And I will make you watch as I torture every man, woman and child. And if they get in my way with the rest of the rift raft, the bond is broken."

Charlie took her dagger and sliced it across her palm. Black blood began to ooze like a river, cascading on to the floor as she held her hand out. She extended the handle of the dagger to Jeremiah. He grabbed the blade and cut open his own hand. Their hands clasped and held tightly together. "An oath in blood…" Jeremiah began.

"Is ended in blood," Charlie finished.

Clarke had barely left Lexa's side since they had brought her into the med bay. Occasionally, Madi or Octavia would take her place so she could bathe and attend to her duties. But she seemed to reappear a moment after she had left.

Sara had checked in on Clarke. At first, she seemed to be understanding. But as days passed, she became agitated. She had come in several times now to start a fight with Clarke, demanding she prove her love by leaving Lexa's side. The more Sara pushed, the clearer everything seemed to become to the blonde.

"Are you ever going to come home?" Sara asked as she leaned in through the doorway of the room.

"Leave," Clarke said coldly, never taking her eyes off Lexa.

"I know what she has meant to you. I'm sorry for losing my temper. It just seems… It seems like you still have feelings for her. I know that's not true, and I-"

"It is true," the blonde said flatly, still not bothering to turn around. "I'm in love with her. I've never stopped being in love with her." She rose from her seat and turned to face the brunette. "I thought she was dead. I grieved. I allowed myself to move on. But I never really moved on. I just accepted that she was gone. You were second best. You always will be. I'm not saying that to be cruel. I'm speaking the truth. I'm in love with Lexa in a way I could never be with anyone else. She's my soulmate."

The brunette's fist started to clench, and her face grew red. "How can you say that?"

"It's true."

"So, I'm nothing? You and I meant nothing?"

"That's not what I said, Sara. I'm saying I love you, but I'm not in love with you. I'm in love with Lexa."

"I see….. Well, when she dies, and she will die, don't expect me to be here."

Clarke lunged on top of the brunette, slamming her to the floor. She wrapped her hand around Sara's neck and squeezed, furry in her eyes. "Say she's going to die again, and I'll kill you myself. If you say one more fucking thing, if you look at her the wrong fucking way, I will squeeze the life out of you. I'll-"

Her words were interrupted as Octavia pulled her off her. The moment Sara was free, she ran. Clarke momentarily fought against her friend, but quickly stopped. Her sudden rage vanished and exhaustion seeped in.

"Damn, Clarke," Octavia said as she released her friend. "What the fuck was that?"

"She keeps fucking saying Lexa is going to die," the blonde said as she retreated to her chair beside the ex commander. "That's literally the third time she's come in her and we've had almost the same exact conversation. And every time she talks about Lexa dying. It's like she's hoping for it."

"I mean, she probably is," the younger girl said as she stood beside Clarke. "She's crazy. I don't know what you ever saw in her."

"She's never acted like that before."

"Makes sense. She thought there wasn't any competition before."

"Hey," Charlie said, interrupting the conversation.

"Where have you been?" Octavia asked.

Charlie remained silent as she walked over to the other side of the bed. Quickly. She removed the machines helping Lexa to breathe. Clarke went to lunge at her in a panic but was stopped by a force field. The taller woman retrieved a vile from her pocket and proceeded to pour it down Lexa's throat. The monitors began frantically beeping as Lexa's heart rate plummeted. Clarke's screams became primal and loud as she tried to break through the invisible barrier. She banged, clawed and kicked, trying to break through. Octavia joined her.

All sound faded away from Charlie's mind as she intently stared at her friend's face. The ex commander's breathing stopped, and she waited patiently. Ages seemed to pass. Clarke's cries of horror began to penetrate the defining silence. A tear slid down the taller woman's cheek as she prayed for the life of her friend.

Lexa violently sat up, gasping in a panic. She frantically started looking around to take in her surroundings. Charlie gently grabbed her friends shoulders to steady her. When they made eye contact, her breathing began to slow. The taller woman looked over to Clarke. The blonde stood frozen, as did Octavia. She dissipated the shield she had formed and moved away from the bed.

Clarke stared into Lexa's eyes and began to cry. She lunged at the grounder and pulled her close. The blonde began to kiss every inch of Lexa's face as she pulled her in to a tight embrace. When the ex commander came out of her shock, she gently grabbed ahold of the blonde's face to still her. As they stared into each other's eyes, smiles grew across their faces.


	16. Chapter 16

Once Clarke and Lexa had spent hours crying and talking, Clarke finally took some time to take care of herself and her responsibilities. Lexa and Charlie sat silently for hours. Charlie stared at a spot on the floor, gone somewhere far in her mind. Lexa sat slightly up in her bed, weaving in and out of consciousness.

"I have to go soon," Charlie said lowly, breaking the silence.

"Go where?"

Charlie loudly cleared her throat, "I'm going to be leaving with Jeramiah. I have less than a day until I need to return. There's things I need to discuss with some people before I leave."

"Why?" Lexa's voice was confused and laced with anger.

"He infected you with his venom. I needed the cure from him. I made a deal with him to save you. I have to go back." Charlie looked away from her friend. She was allowing the pain and fear to spread across her features. Lexa's face softened and her anger left as fast as it came.

"Why would you do that?"

"You're my sister, Lexa. I love you." Charlie looked back into her friend's eyes and smiled sadly. "Besides, this way, you'll all be safe."

"What about you? Why do you not matter?" the ex commander's voice became angry again. "Why is it okay for you to give up your happiness for me or for anyone else?"

"There are more important things than my happiness at stake here. You know that. You've had to make decisions like these. Do you really not understand?" the taller woman searched her friend's face. She was pleading in silence for the brunette to accept fate.

"Not for me," Lexa choked out, her voice horse from holding back tears.

"Why not for you?" Charlie reached for her friend's hand and held on to it. "Why aren't you good enough for that? You are. You deserve to live a full life. You've more than earned. So do all of these people. If all I have to do is suffer the company of Jeremy, why is it so horrible?"

"That's not all you will suffer, and you know it," a tear slid down the ex commander's face. She squeezed Charlie's hand tightly. "I know what he will do," she whispered hoarsely,

Another sad smile crossed Charlie's features. "It will be alright. This is not forever. It can only last so long. You'll understand later." She rose from her seat beside Lexa's bed and squeezed the brunette's hand one more time before she let go. "I need you to live the way you want to. I need you to do what feels right in your heart. I need you to love with no conditions and unashamedly. I need you to do your best to be who you really are every day. Please, do that for me."

Lexa forced a smile and nodded her head as another tear rolled down her cheek. "I promise," she whispered. Charlie nodded her head back and quietly left the room.

Charlie gathered everyone in the town hall. She sat still, trying to calm her raging nerves. After several deep breaths, she looked upon the faces surrounding her. Clarke, Kane, Bellamy, Octavia, Madi, Abby, Indra, Monty, Raven, Eela and Kia all stared back, curious and concerned.

"I'm leaving after we are done here," Charlie started. "I don't know when I'll be back. I made a deal with my brother. In exchange for the antidote for Lexa, and for the safety of all of you, I am going to leave with him."

"No," Eela immediately responded.

"I made a blood oath. It's done."

"Why would you do that?" Kia asked, horror filling his eyes.

"Just break it. Fuck him," Octavia chimed in. "We'll get ready and kick his ass."

"It is not that simple," Kia said, turning his head and directing his attention toward Octavia. "A blood oath is unbreakable. If she were to break it, she would experience merciless pain before dying."

"How is that possible?" Abby quipped in.

"That's not important right now," Eela bit out. "How could you do that?" Hurt and fear danced across her eyes momentarily.

"It was the only way to save you," Charlie squeaked out.

"He will find a way around it."

"I'm sure he will," the taller woman laughed out bitterly. "And I will be there, beside him, studying and learning everything I can before he does."

The room grew silent. Clarke shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She had a sinking feeling in her stomach. "You're going to die if you do this," the blonde stated.

"Probably," the taller woman responded. "But at least it won't be for nothing. I've lived a few lifetimes. I've experienced more than I can remember. If I can set wrongs right, I can't miss the opportunity. When he betrays me, you will have everything you need to defend yourselves. You'll potentially have enough to help others out there. You'll be able to stop him for good. If I die for that, it's an honor."

"Is he really that grave of a threat?" Kane asked.

"I've watched him murder countless people for pleasure. Hell, I've seen him torture people for looking at him in a way that displeased him. He's more powerful than you realize. He has technology that he's stolen from a species far more advanced than ours. God only knows what kind of weapons and how many warriors he's accumulated. If the entity of evil could be a person, it would be him."

"Thank you," Monty said, his face etched in sincerity.

"There's no need to thank me. It's just my karma. I murdered and tortured people right beside him. I'm not a saint. I just grew a conscious one day. In a way, I'm being selfish. I need this. I need to redeem myself." Charlie's face flooded with shame as she stood from her seat. "I'll find a way to make contact and send whatever information I find, reporting in as frequently as I can."

Monty rose from his seat and walked over to Charlie. Swiftly, he hugged the taller woman. "Thank you," he breathed into her shoulder. "No matter what you've done, or who you use to be, thank you." He released Charlie and looked her in the eye. "I've read everything about the two of you. I've read everything these people here have on him. Thank you."

Charlie bit her lip to keep herself from crying. "See you around," she whispered before vanishing out of their sight.

The room grew silent again, the seconds that passed feeling like hours. They all stared into space, lost in their own thoughts. A sadness made it's way into the air and settled into all of their bones.

"This is bullshit," Eela shouted, shooting up from her seat, sending the chair flying behind her.

"Eela," Kia said in a low warning.

"No!" she shouted. "This is bullshit. That monster keeps winning. First, he kills all our parents and elders. He leaves us here to rot. He takes and takes and takes! And now this!"

"Eela," Kia repeated as he placed his hand on his friend's arm, rising from his seat. "This is sad. It is all sad and unfair. But we can not change the past. We can not stop Charlie from making her own decisions. She has bought us time. We need to take advantage of it. I do not wish to see her go, but it is done. We will finish what we started. Once we are ready, we will fight. We will win."

"How do you know that?" Raven interrupted. "How do you know that we'll win."

Kia looked into the mechanic's eyes and smiled. "We fight to live. We fight to love. We fight for each other. He fights to see death. He fights for fear. He is alone. Unity and love are greater than fear and selfishness. It always wins in the end. We will win."

"He's right," Bellamy said with a warm smile. "We've always fought for those things. And we've always won."

A few months had gone by. Everything on the surface seemed normal. Most people continued with their every day lives; farming, hunting, building, learning. Under the surface, an army was growing. Bellamy, Octavia, Indra, Madi, Clarke, Lexa, Kane, Raven, Eela and Kia began recruiting and training. Eela and Kia began teaching the army how to harness, control and grow their new-found abilities. Bellamy, Raven and Kane began weapons training with guns and explosives. Madi, Indra and Octavia began training for swords, daggers, spears, bows and arrows. Clarke taught strategy and medical. And Lexa was solely in charge of hand to hand combat and sparring.

They created a training grounds fifty clicks away from the ever-growing settlement, not wanting it to be known how large of a force was being amassed. Training was grueling. It started before dawn and ended after dark. Summer was now upon them. The two suns that hung in the sky beat down on the militia, sometimes causing burns and extreme dehydration. When night finally came, the temperature dropped drastically. The cold air cut through there sweat soaked bodies bitterly, occasionally causing some to collapse or faint. The army trained six days a week. But Lexa lived on the training grounds.

On the days most rested, Lexa trained alone. Eela would join on occasion, wanting to release her simmering rage. Mostly, Lexa pushed her body to its limits on her lonely days. She was constantly pushing to become faster, stronger, more perceptive and enduring. Her days were clock work. She would rise before everyone else and spend the silence in meditation. She took small breaks throughout her day to refuel her body. Her day would end with meditation once more before going to sleep. The ex commander barely uttered a word. She refused to engage in social activity. All of her being was immersed into her preparation.

Clarke was becoming concerned. Her heart ached for Lexa. The brunette had lost her best friend; the woman who brought her back from the dead and taught her how to live again. She could tell the ex commander was determined to defeat Jeremiah. She recognized the look in the brunette's eyes. Lexa was planning to kill the man and prepping for every scenario. The fierce, ferocious warrior was blazing like the summer heat. Clarke understood, and she honestly enjoyed watching Lexa find a piece of herself again. But the training was becoming consuming and obsessive. It was a distraction.

Clarke had taken her time walking to the training grounds. She was mulling over what she would say in her mind over and over. She had temporarily paused on her walk to be still and breathe, deciding to go with whatever came to her.

When she reached the grounds, she found Lexa standing still, burning a hole into the ground with her eyes and clenching her fists. Her face was filled with anger and pain. The brunette was so captured by her inner turmoil, she didn't notice the blonde approaching.

Clarke walked up beside the woman she loved and calmly placed her hand onto the brunette's arm, lightly squeezing to get her attention. Lexa quickly turned her head, a little shocked. She smiled sadly at the blonde before speaking. "Hi."

"Hi," Clarke responded, smiling at the brunette as she stared into a pool of dark green eyes that held heartbreak. "How are you?"

Lexa swallowed hard. Debating for a moment is she wanted to talk about it. She decided to be open. "I'm not okay."

"I know," the blonde responded, squeezing her arm again. "Do you want to talk about it? I don't have to say anything. I can just listen." She could see the contemplation in the ex commander's eyes. It was clear the woman still believed to some degree that being open was weakness, and that she was afraid. "Leska please, let me be here for you."

Lexa swallowed hard. She wanted to desperately let it out, and she wanted it to be with Clarke. The past months, she barely interacted with the woman she loved. She knew she would break down if she had. In her heart, all she wanted was to cling to the woman in front of her and cry. She wasn't use to the feeling. Never in her life had she wanted to be vulnerable with another human being. Not even with Costia. She was afraid to let someone in fully. She was afraid of it being used against her or her people as Commander. And afraid of being hurt on a personal level. But in this moment, something broke inside of her. She grabbed Clarke and wrapped her arms around the blonde, almost frantically. Burying her head into her love's neck, she began to cry. All the pain, all the regret, all the heartache came rushing to the surface.

Clarke hugged the brunette back, squeezing her and pulling her to her body as close as possible. The ex commander began to shake and sob, her cries drowned in the crook of Clarke's neck. Lexa wrapped her arms tighter around the slightly shorter woman, mumbling.

Clarke waited a moment before speaking. She swayed her body to comfort and calm the brunette. "What was that you said?"

Lexa lifted her head. Her cheeks were stained with tears and her eyes were puffy. She took a slow, deep breath and released it with a sigh. "I said I'm sorry," her voice cracked as she spoke.

"Why?" the blonde's confusion was blatant.

"For all of this." Lexa paused, biting the inside of her lip. "It's not my fault. I'm aware of that. But my heart…" she trailed of, raising her hand and placing it on her chest. "My heart regrets so much. From the moment I met you, my walls started to crack. I've done so many things, hurt and killed so many, all in the name of my people. I've lost many people I've loved. I locked my heart away because I couldn't bear the pain. And then you," the brunette paused again. She raised her other hand and placed it on Clarke's chest, above her heart. "One look from you and I started to come undone. I knew you without knowing you. It felt like I had known you before and I had been waiting for you to arrive. And the moment you walked into that tent, I felt like I could breathe for the first time in years. Since that day, I've struggled so much. My heart and my head could never agree."

Lexa moved the hand that was resting upon her own chest and used it to pull Clarke closer, leaving it to wrest on the blonde's hip. "When I died, I went somewhere. I don't have words for it. But I felt love so fully, in a way I never had before. Love from within me and love all around me, in everything; it was everywhere. When I came back, I felt free, like a child. I was confused and scared, but free. I knew something, I still know it, but it's something else I don't have words for. And at the same time, I was completely broken. Charlie guided me, how a mother guides a child. She loved me in the same way. She gave me comfort and she was my friend; a true friend." Another tear slid down the brunette's face. "I would dream of you. Every night. I'd wake up frantic. My chest would ache, and I'd cry. Charlie always came and comforted me. I asked her one time, why does this woman haunt me? And why do I miss her so much? I don't know who she is. She smiled at me and said, you've always known her, and you always will. You're waiting for her. Waiting can hurt, but it's a good pain. Because when you finally see her, a door will unlock inside of you and a light will burst from your chest. It'll suddenly all make sense, and the waiting will then be worth it."

"She would say something cheesy like that," Clarke laughed out, gaining a smile from the brunette.

"I was so happy in those years I spent with her. But I always had an ache in my heart because I was missing you. I feel that ache again now. It's different, but it's the same. I feel like I've lost a piece of myself. I know I have not, but my heart hurts. Looking back on all the moments I spent with her, I regret so many things. There were so many times I could have shown her how much I love her. Just like there have been so many moments wasted that I could have been showing you how much I….. how much I'm in love with you, Klark."

Clarke couldn't tear her eyes away from the green orbs pouring in to her soul. Goosebumps covered her body and she was slightly shaking. She snaked her arm around Lexa's waste and pulled her closer, so their bodies were touching. Lexa audibly inhaled sharply at the contact.

"I'm sorry for all the moments I've wasted not sharing with people and showing them how much I love them," Lexa continued. She swallowed hard and licked her lips. "And I don't," she slid a hand behind Clarke's neck and slowly pulled her closer, their lips centimeters apart. "I don't want to waste another second."

Their lips touched gently, and Clarke sighed into the kiss. Lexa lingered for a few moments before pulling away. She waited for Clarke to open her eyes, seeking permission to continue. And when she was staring into a longing, fiery blue ocean, their lips collided once more.


	17. Chapter 17

"So Clarke," Octavia said as she leaned against the fence that circled the fighting ring, looking down at the blonde who was in the middle of tying her shoe, "When are you and Lexa going to finally bang?"

Clarke's face instantly burned bright red. She pulled on her laces tighter as she finished the not. Avoiding eye contact as she rose, she coughed awkwardly. "Did you really just say that?" She asked, giving dagger eyes to her friend.

Octavia smiled wide, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Yes. Yes, I did. Don't tell me you haven't been fantasizing about it for every day since forever."

"Octavia!" the blonde slightly rose her voice, her face becoming a darker shade.

"You two already banged before right?"

"Oh my…." Clarke trailed off, covering her face with her hand.

"I knew it. Well, I expect a fucking hurricane to blow through and stars to collide when you two finally unleash all that pent pining and frustration."

"I'm going to kill you," the blonde sighed out in a low voice, removing her hand to look her friend in the eye.

"Listen Clarke, I tortured Lexa for a long time with this. It's just your turn now. You're an easier target though. She just put that face on most of the time. Although, I did get her one time. She was moaning your name out and-"

"Hello Octavia," Lexa said as she leaned against the fence beside her friend. Octavia's face dropped and she froze, suddenly feeling the need to run. "What is it we're talking about? I heard my name."

"Nothing in particular," the raven haired woman lied as she shrugged her shoulders.

"Octavia was just telling me about how one time-"

"Clarke!" the raven haired woman shouted. Lexa's eyebrow raised, her face turning to stone. For a moment, Octavia looked frightened. There was a debate going on in her mind on weather she should run or face her fate. But instead of either choice, she decided her best chance was to keep going. "Remember Lexa? I heard you moaning Clarke's name and I thought you were having a nightmare. And then when I walked up-"

"Enough," Lexa said as she covered Octavia's mouth with her hand, eyes wide with a hint of panic. Her cheeks tinged with pink. Octavia began to laugh, pushing the brunette's hand away.

"You two… are so… easy," Octavia said through laughs. "Easy for each other that is." She began to howl as she crossed her arms over her stomach. Her laughter grew louder, catching the attention of nearby soldiers.

"Yup, I'm definitely going to kill you," Clarke reaffirmed as she covered her face once more.

"Eela and Kia wish to speak to us," the ex commander interjected, her face turning to stone once more. "They said it was important."

"I'm not finished with the two of you," Octavia said, smiling as she walked away toward barracks.

The trio walked into an office inside the barracks. Eela was leaning against a wooden desk on the far side of the room. Kia was sitting on a chair in front of the desk. He smiled at the three women. "Please sit," he said, directing them to the chairs directly across from him.

The women sat down and stared at the duo curiously. Eela looked more agitated than usual. Kia looked nervous and couldn't be still.

"What's going on?" Clarke asked, intrigued by their behaviors

"So," Kia began, momentarily hesitating. "The human race, as you know, was created by our ancestors by fusing our DNA with the hominoids native to Earth. And you three have had your DNA altered more than the rest of your comrades. You are more like us now than you are the human race. We unlocked the things that were locked to prevent your species from being able to best us. With that, comes some… unexpected changes."

"What are you trying to say?" Octavia asked. As she looked Kia in the eyes, her normal attraction the man intensified. Her body temperature rose, and she could feel her canines growing. She bit her lip and curled her hands in to fists that sat in her lap. Confusion and panic arose in her eyes.

"Look at Octavia," Kia said. The other two women turned and became concerned for the younger woman. "She is in, what your species would refer to, as heat."

"What?" Clarke turned her attention back to Kia.

"Our species is where yours got myths of werewolves, vampires and witches from. We all are born with the same basic core structure, but other than that we are completely different. Eela and I are twins, so we are more similar than most. Lexa, do you remember when you were in our camp? How all my people not only had different abilities, but they're appetites, habits and appearances were all different?" The ex commander nodded her head. "That's why our people gave yours so many different legends and myths. But like I said, we have the same basic core structure. One thing we all must endure is mating season. Our people can not procreate at any time they wish. About every decade, we go into heat."

The three women stared in shock, not knowing what to say. Octavia quickly averted her gaze. Looking at Kia was becoming more dangerous by the second. "I don't know exactly how it will work for any of your people that have been changed. None of you are human anymore, but you are not quite the same as us either. You're an unknown. But it does seem to me that you are all going in to heat. The reactions I've been witnessing are proof of it. The extra agitation, the territorial actions I've seen, the increased sex drive; it is what happens to my people. We need to let them all know. And we need to set boundaries and rules in place."

"Why?" Lexa questioned. "Why do we need rules for this? What happens."

"With my people, we have strict protocol for mating season. The Oktnia; mating rules. It is training to control the intense urges and impulses that will come up. It is also suggested that no sexual act be committed unless it is with a person who is already your partner. If you bite another and they are not your partner, it does not go well."

"Bite?" Lexa's eyebrow raised and her face grew with curiosity.

"Your canines now grow, yes?" The trio nodded in unison. "They grow when you are angry, feel threatened, when you are enjoying a fight. They grow when primal instincts course through you. They grow when a person is experiencing intense pleasure as well." The group looked at him, dumfounded. "None of you have had intercourse since you were altered?" All three women blushed, each for their own reason. Kia lightly laughed at their reaction and then continued. "When our people bite someone during intercourse, a sort of venom is released into the other person's nervous system. It allows the one who has been bitten to feel what their partner is feeling physically and emotionally. During mating season, if someone is bitten while having intercourse, it is almost one hundred percent chance of procreation."

Silence fell upon the room like a curtain suddenly dropping on a stage. All three women stared off in thought, processing. Octavia began to bite down on her lip so hard it bled. She shot up from her chair, looking anywhere but at Kia. Everyone turned their heads and stared with concern.

"I need to leave," Octavia almost shouted. She was gone before anyone spoke.

Eela began to laugh. She smacked her brother in the air, gaining an uncharacteristic eye roll from him. The giant man breathed in deeply and exhaled loudly as he rose. "You two may have as much intercourse as you like," he pointed at Clarke and Lexa. They both turned red. "You can obviously not procreate with each other. Although I will caution you. If you do choose to, and you bite each other, you will not be able to hide your love making. Once you are entangled in each other's nervous systems, all control will vanish. You will be at your most primal."

Eela laughed harder as she watched the two women squirm with every word her brother spoke. She stood up fully and tried to catch her breath. When she was finally able to calm down, she spoke. "My brother and I will inform the rest. You'll have this entire building to yourselves." She winked and began to laugh furiously once more as her and her brother exited the room.

The settlement was informed. About half of the population had been altered to the point where they were now something entirely different than human. The ones affected began classes and training. The soldiers who were going through this process were given other duties to temporary fulfil. Kia did not want them training. The heightened emotions would have side effects.

"This is ridiculous," Octavia sighed to Clarke as they sat by a river in the forest. "I'm starting to find women attractive to the point that I'm fully willing to have sex with them. It's painful. I now understand what blue balls are."

"Don't act like you weren't willing to be with a woman before," the blonde teased her friend, gaining an infamous eye roll.

"Yeah, for fun. But now it's like… I want them just as much as I've wanted men. Its very confusing. And frustrating. And annoying as hell." Clarke laughed as she looked at a waterfall crash into the river, watching the ripples flow down the water way. "Why do you think we aren't trying to tear each other's clothes off?"

"Probably because we've never found each other attractive like that," Clarke answered easily. She was being soothed by the noises of wildlife around her and the river before her.

"You're probably right." The younger woman sat her hand in her head and sighed, groaning in frustration. "I want Kia so bad, its not even remotely funny."

"It's a little funny," Clarke smiled as she looked at the woman next to her.

"It's really not," Octavia stated, clearly not amused.

"Why don't you just go talk to him?"

"Because I'll jump on top of him."

"I'm sure her would be able to control himself and keep you from taking advantage of him." Clarke's smile widened as she held back a laugh, gaining a death glare from her friend.

"Why don't you go talk with Lexa?" the raven haired woman fired back.

"Because I _will_ rip her clothes off."

"And that's a bad thing because…?"

"I don't want it to be because we can't control ourselves. It would be the first time in a long time, and I don't want to ruin it," Clarke said, her voice almost sounding defeated.

"You guys could barely control yourselves before. Now you just have something to push you over the edge because you're both pussies who won't make the jump." Octavia stared down her friend, waiting for the blond to prove her statement wrong. Clarke stared back at her trying to form words, but nothing would come out.

"Touché."

"Go to her then, Clarke," Octavia urged. "Listen, if one of us can get laid, then it should happen. I'm not saying go in there with the intent to bang her. I'm saying go spend time with her, and if you feel it going somewhere don't fight it. We have time right now to live. Go fucking enjoy life for once."

Clarke was slightly taken aback by the simplicity and wisdom in the younger woman's words. She couldn't think of a satisfactory reason why she should go against her friend's advice. "Since when did you become the one with good advice?"

"Since I went through hell and came back," the younger woman stated with a grin.

So Clarke left Octavia by the river and began her walk back to find Lexa. She had no idea where to go. It was the middle of the day, and the ex commander could be anywhere. The more she concentrated on the woman she loved, she suddenly found herself changing direction. It was as if she could sense the brunette and knew exactly where to go.

She soon found herself at the front door or Lexa's cabin. Taking a deep, calming breath, she knocked on the door. After waiting a few minutes, she knocked again. She decided to leave and look elsewhere, but her gut was telling her to go inside. So against her better judgement, she went in. She closed the door behind her and took a few steps into the house. She froze when she heard a low, shallow breath come from Lexa's room.

Quietly, she walked toward the bedroom, assuming the other woman was asleep. The door was cracked slightly open. Clarke froze when she glanced in through the crack. Lexa was in her bed. One hand down her pants and the other digging into the headboard behind her. The brunette let out a low groan as her hand slowly moved in circles below her waistline.

The blonde panicked momentarily. She knew she should leave. She knew it was wrong to just stand there and watch. But a deep longing starting to claw its way up from her stomach and she lost all control. She bit her lip hard and tried not to gasp as she watched Lexa slowly work herself up. She leaned her head into the wall beside her, never taking her eyes of the beauty before her. Before she realized what she was doing, she had one hand down her own pants. She slipped through her wet folds and began to lightly touch her throbbing clit, biting down harder to keep in the moan that almost slipped out.

Lexa began to move her hand faster, her body moving in its own rhythm. A moan escaped her lips, causing Clarke's eyes to roll. As Lexa kept up with her rhythm, her shirt began to rise, revealing soft skin and taught muscles. Clarkes free hand grabbed on to the doorway, squeezing into the wood hard as she started to rub her own clit faster.

"Clarke," Lexa moaned huskily, grabbing her bedframe so hard the wood began to crack. The blonde let out a low gasp, holding back from moaning herself. She began rocking faster against her hand, increasing her pace more as she watched Lexa move faster. The brunette was close. Her stomach muscles were beginning to contract. She let out another moan and opened her eyes, looking directly at the younger woman.

Clarke didn't' move, she didn't stop. Instead, she let herself moan loudly, feeling herself getting close to the edge. Their bodies were moving in unison as they stared at each other. Their breaths were coming out rapidly and they both began to shake.

"Lexa," Clarke groaned, gaining an animalistic sound from the brunette.

"Clarke," the brunette gasped, maintaining eye contact. "Come with me."

That's all it took to throw Clarke over the edge. She closed her eyes and almost screamed as her climax took over her body. Lexa came right after, never taking her eyes off the blonde, memorizing every detail as she fell into ecstasy. Their bodies shook and they gasped for breath as the rode out their climax.

Clarke clung the doorway, breathing heavily as she tried to keep herself standing. Before she knew what was happening, she was gently being turned around. The blonde opened her eyes and found dilated green orbs full of love and desire staring at her.

Lexa slowly pinned her against the wall. She laced her fingers with Clarke's free hand and placed her other hand on Clarke's wrist that wrested above her waste line. She rubbed her nose against the shorter woman's and began to shower kisses all over her face. Clarke smiled and happily accepted the praise.

"Clarke," the brunette whispered, her breath kissing the other woman's lips. The blonde waited, mesmerized. "I want you. All of you. Right now."

A large wave of heat and longing flooded Clarke. She removed her hand from her pants and grabbed the back of Lexa's head, crashing their lips together. She traced the brunette's bottom lip with her tongue, gaining entry and a guttural moan. Their tongues clashed as their bodies pushed together, desperately craving contact.

Lexa's free hand traveled up Clarke's body and dug itself in to her hair, scratching at the back of her skull. The blonde groaned and bit down on the other woman's lip. Slowly, Lexa ground herself into Clarke and gently pulled her hair, gaining another satisfied groan from the woman she had pinned to the wall.

The brunette pulled her lips away and stared, a cocky smile forming as Clarke's lips chased after hers. "Clarke," she said again, her voice teasing and gentle. They made eye contact once more and Clarke shivered under the searing gaze.

"Lexa," the blonde responded breathlessly. Her body was shaking and she was desperate for more of anything Lexa was willing to give her.

"I'm _yours_. And you… you're _mine_ ," Lexa breathed animalistically before she took Clarke's lips again and lifted her off the ground.

Lexa slammed her onto the bed, cradling her head, bracing the impact. One hand retangled itself with Clarke's and the other gripped at the blonde's hips. She squeezed the hip she held and swallowed a moan as she explored Clarke's mouth with her tongue once more.

Clarke's free hand went up Lexa's shirt, touching the smooth, hardened abs beneath it. She scratched at the skin lightly and the brunette gasped at the contact. Before her actions registered with her mind, the brunette pulled back and stripped off her shirt and bra. Gently, she pulled Clarke up, and proceed to rip her shirt and bra off her. The younger woman might have been angry about her clothes being ripped in two if it hadn't made her soak through her pants.

Lexa immediately pushed Clarke back down on the bed and slowly sunk her skin into the blonde's. The brunette let out a sigh of pure bliss as she pushed into the woman beneath her, trying to melt. Clarke wrapped her arms around the ex commander, pulling her impossibly closer, shivering from the contact.

Lexa began to leave a slow trail of opened mouth kisses down Clarke's neck, biting down and sucking on her pulse point. The younger woman moaned and dug her nails into the brunette's back. Their souls began to reach out to one another, desperately trying to tangle and pull the other in, clawing through the skin and melding together. Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke, pulling her closer, leaving no space between them. They both moaned and Clarke began kissing Lexa's a neck.

A strange sensation started building up in them both. An urge that started as a whisper and turned into an engulfing entity. Their canines began to grow, and their bodies started to tense. The ex commander pulled away slightly to look at Clarke. Annoyance and impatience were written all over the blonde's face.

"Klark," Lexa grunted out, trying to contain the feeling bubbling up inside of her. "I want… I want to…"

"Do it," Clarke let out breathlessly, knowing and welcoming the idea. "Leska, please. Please."

The yearning in the blonde's voice was all it took for the ex commander to snap and let her primal instincts take over. With a snarl, she sunk her teeth into Clarke's pulse point and felt a release. A moment later, she felt Clarke sink her teeth into her. She felt a sharp sting as the younger woman's venom entered her and exploded throughout all she was. She was invaded by everything Clarke; she loved it. She could feel Clarke aching for her everywhere; in her heart, her soul, her body. The intense overload of love, desire and the craving to be intertwined, to be connected and bound in every way, coming from Clarke, flooding her and everything she was, sent her to a place a fearlessness, love and instinct she had never known before. All she wanted was to please the woman beneath her. And she could feel that the woman she was in love with only wanted the same.

They released each other and Lexa tore off the rest of their clothes. She slid between Clarke's legs and kissed her fervently. She pressed their breasts together and left her center hovering centimeters above Clarke's. She could feel the blonde's agitation and how it made her ache more. She moaned, sending Clarke on a whirlwind of emotion.

The ex commander trailed her lips down her lover's neck and through the valley or her breasts. She sucked a nipple into her mouth and lightly grazed over it with her tongue. She brought her hand up to the other breast and began to knead it with her palm.

Clarke shook beneath her and moaned. She desperately tried to pull her lover closer but failed. She could feel Lexa's pleasure and desire coursing through her veins. She was fighting to get her way even though she knew she wouldn't. She grabbed ahold of the ex comander's ass and squeezed. Lexa moaned and responded by biting down on the blonde's nipple, soothing it with her tongue.

The brunette switched sides, lapping attention to the other breast with her mouth. Clarke felt as if she was about to die from pleasure. She felt every nerve in her body being sent on fire. Every time the tip of Lexa's tongue touched her nipple, she almost came. The satisfaction coming from Lexa, the aching that was building up within her, had Clarke writhing in ecstasy.

Lexa's hand slowly made its way down pale skin, tracing patterns with her finger tips. She stopped her hand just above Clarke's center and bit the blonde's nipple one more time before pulling her head away.

Clarke's eyes were closed tightly, her breathing was rigged. She was shaking uncontrollably. "Look at me," Lexa demanded softly. The blonde opened her eyes and realized she was feeling the ferocity of the love she always found in the brunette's entrancing eyes. "Ai'm in hodnes kom yu Klark," Lexa said as she slipped a finger through Clarkes slick folds.

The brunette's eyes rolled into the back of her head from how wet her lover was. Clarke could feel the wanting shooting through Lexa's body in her, combining with the utter high of having the ex commander lightly touching her swollen clit. "Lexa!" Clarke loudly moaned as she clung to the woman above her, pulling her closer, their bodies fused together.

Lexa started circling Clarke's clit, slightly applying pressure. She was lost in everything that was Clarke and she never wanted to leave. She circled Clarke's entrance and pushed the tip of her finger inside her lover. The blonde groaned and desperately tired to pull more of the brunette inside of her. Lexa moved her finger back up to her the blonde's clit and began to circle a little faster.

"Leksa," Clarke moaned huskily. The ex commander trapped the woman's lips with her own and began a war of tongues. Without any warning, Lexa plunged two fingers into Clarke, causing the blonde to almost scream into the brunette's mouth.

Lexa slowly began to pump in and out of her, occasionally curling her fingers, causing her love to buck her hips. Clarke was reaching for Lexa in every way, trying to pull all the woman into her being and consume her. She clawed at Lexa's back and kept trying to pull her closer. Without realizing what she was doing, Clarke slipped two fingers inside of Lexa. The ex commander momentarily faltered and moaned, "Klark." Now Clarke was lost in the feeling of Lexa's pleasure.

They found a rhythm, their bodies and hands moving perfectly together. Their fingers pumped and curled in and out of each other as they circled each other's clits with their thumbs. They were enmeshed, two separate beings and at the same time one. Both of their emotions and pleasure coursing through each other, connected down to their cores.

They were both close, teetering on the edge. Lexa slowed down and Clarke followed suite. Both women opened their eyes and leaned their foreheads together. "Klark," Lexa gasped. The brunette picked up her pace again, as did the blonde. They could feel it. They started to clench around each other and their bodies started to shake.

"Fuck," Clarke rigidly breathed out. "Leska," she gasped. She couldn't take. All she was feeling, all of Lexa surrounding and in every piece of her, Lexa's feelings mixing in with hers; she exploded. They screamed each other's names and clung to each other as they both fell over the edge together, colliding and embracing. They continued to curl their fingers in and out of each other, coming again. Their bodies were shaking and they maintained eye contact as they both flew over the edge a third time. They rode out their orgasms, slowly bringing each other down.

They pulled out of each other and Clarke kissed her love passionately, desperately. She pulled Lexa as close as possible and kissed her plump lips until they were bruised. They continued that way all day and all night. Getting lost in each other over and over again.


	18. Chapter 18

Charlie sat in a cold metal chair, twirling around a chess piece on the table. Her eyes bled bitterness and sorrow. Breathing in deeply, she closed her eyes, concentrating on the feel of the italic black object dancing between her fingers. A sob was making its way up her throat. She swallowed hard and squeezed her eyes to fight back tears. A quick swoosh sound caught her ear. Swallowing again, she opened her eyes to find her brother in the chair across the table, observing her curiously.

"You cut your hair off," the giant man's voice boomed. Charlie stared coldly at him in response. "It looks nice. You always looked better with short hair. It reminds me of the old days."

"What do you want?" the tall woman breathed, exasperation in her voice.

"What fun is it having you around if you torture yourself for me?" Jeremiah asked, agitation and annoyance in his voice. "It's rude. The agreement was that you would be mine."

"And here I am," Charlie responded, no life in her voice.

"Is this about that girl? The one from yesterday? She was nothing. A parasite. You did good."

Charlie bit her tongue as the memory came up. A girl, no older than fifteen, had attacked her brother. He had killed her entire family for refusing to relinquish their lands on a planet new to the woman. She intervened, stopping the girl from harming her brother; it was part of her oath. Jeramiah had become infuriated by the attempt. He ripped her clothes off, beat her to death and left her body in an ally of one of the cities. Threatening the locals that they would be next if they moved her body an inch. Demanding she be left to rot.

"I wish I had let her kill you," Charlie whispered, hatred laced in every syllable.

Seemingly agitated, her brother looked away. He waved his hand and sighed nonchalantly. "Yes, yes, yes. We all know I'm the evil sociopath. But we both know you don't really want me dead. You're still holding on to a little bit of hope that I'll change."

"I lost hope for you before the bombs fell."

"Really?" Jeramiah cocked his eyebrow. "Then why didn't you kill me? When I found you, on Rokta, you had a few opportunities to end my life while we were fighting. We both know that you're the only one who's ever had real chances to beat me. Yet every time, you falter."

Charlie stared at the Queen chess piece in her hand once more dejectedly. All emotion had left her face and eyes. "I should have ripped your throat out."

"You can't kill me for the same reason I can't kill you. You love me, despite yourself."

"Maybe I do," the tall woman whispered as she wrapped her fingers around the object she had been playing with. "I still wish I had killed you. I wish I had done it a long time ago."

For a moment, hurt flashed in Jeremiah's eyes. But it was quickly replaced with malice. "You don't mean it."

Charlie squeezed the chess piece as hard as she could. Its sharp edges cut into her hand. Black blood began to drip on the table. "I do," she spat bitterly, staring her brother down. "You destroy everything that's good."

"Nothing is good," the giant man challenged. "There is no black and white. There is no good. There is reality and the weak who can't stomach it. I have traveled many solar systems, met many species of our inelegance or higher. We are all the same inside; savage beasts. The weak are the ones who falter, the ones who ignore what they're instincts scream to do. I embrace who I am. I welcome it all with open arms and do as I please. You see that as wrong. But it's truth. I don't hide. I lay my wickedness bare for all to see. You're the one who's wrong." Jeramiah smiled as his sister's face began to burn with rage. "You go against your instincts. And when you act as yourself, you fill with shame. What do you have to repent for? We are all animals. You're the one who pretends to be something they're not. You look down upon me for doing what comes naturally to me. Don't forget sister, you once fed every one of those lurking desires; I've never seen anything more beautiful."

"I'm not better than you," Charlie spat through gritted teeth. "But what you have always seemed to not understand is that when I act out on those primal, dark urges, it tears me apart. It's not who I am. I have done horrendous things. I know I have a monster inside of me. But I choose not to let it win."

"You're lying!" Jeremiah screamed, slamming his fist down on the table. "We are _all_ monsters. We're all savage beasts. Try and tell me you don't love it when you rip someone apart. That you don't love conquering your enemies and taking what you want. Tell me it doesn't send your blood boiling in the sweetest way when you take a woman and have your way with her. The fear, the rage, the fight; it's glorious. I've watched you create master pieces of massacre. I admire them. I seek to make better ones. It's so natural for you." He walked around the table and placed his hand over his sister's fist that was covered in her own blood. "What you are, the real you, that wild beast, is breath taking. Tell me you're not enjoying that tearing into your skin right now. The blood flowing like a river, painting itself in a unique, gorgeous pattern beneath your fist. Look me in the eye and tell me that you don't love that pain."

Charlie shot up from her chair in a rage and threw the chess piece away. Screaming, she punched her brother hard, sending him to the floor. She jumped on top of him and punched him again. Before she could punch him once more, Jeremiah flipped her over and pinned her to ground. Charlie howled and screamed as she tried to escape her brother's grasp. She screamed until she couldn't anymore. When she finally stilled, he smiled wickedly.

"Get off of me!" Charlie screamed, her voice cracking from how raw her throat was. A giant burst of energy exploded from her. It sent Jeremiah flying to the other side of the room. His body slammed into the rock wall, causing chunks to fall and leaving cracks behind. He fell to the floor with a loud bang. She walked over to him. His body had cuts and wounds all over. He smiled wickedly at her, blood seeping out of his mouth. "Don't ever fucking touch me again. If you do, I _will_ kill you." She kicked him hard in the groin, gaining an agonizing wail.

As she walked away, Jeremiah began to laugh manically. "There she is!" he screamed, pleased with himself. "There's my sister!"

Kia had brought Madi onto the forgotten spaceship that had brought the survivors to their new home. She followed him down hallways, deep into the ship, until he opened a concealed door. The door hissed as it opened, popping out of a wall down a corridor. "What is this?" Madi asked, holding a stoic face like Lexa's.

"Charlie told me to not show anyone until they were ready," Kia said lowly as he walked through the door. The room became aware of his presence and bright white lights flickered on. "It was people she brought back who took a much longer process."

Madi walked in. Her eyes went wide, and her mouth slightly opened in shock. Before her were lines of giant, metal chambers holding people in what appeared to be some sort of green gelatin. The naked bodies swayed peacefully in the tubes; their faces covered with masks so they could breathe. "I recognize some of these people from Clarke's drawing," Madi breathed, still in shock. Before her were two very familiar figures; Lincoln and Anya. "How is this possible?"

Kia walked over to the chamber that contained Lincoln. He stared at the man, seemingly contemplating something. "Charlie took their remains and figured out a way to revive them in a like fashion to what she did to Lexa and Clarke. It's taken longer for them to regenerate because their bodies and minds were in the process of decaying when she found them. And with Lincoln, he was shot in the head. But it's possible to bring back anyone if you have any piece of their DNA. Our people have been doing it for thousands of years. Charlie replicated our methods and figured it out on her own. There can be complications though," Kia turned his head to look at Madi, who had walked up beside him. He looked at her solemnly. "Some lose their memories. Some going insane from the extreme shock. Some come back a completely different person. There's no exact science for bringing back their consciousness. That's always an unknown."

"Why are you showing me this before anyone else?"

"You are the least attached to these people. You have never known them; just been told stories. I would like to run my ideas with you on how to go about waking them up and revealing this information before I bring it to anyone else."

Clarke laid perfectly still as she watched Lexa sleep. Seeing how peaceful the woman in her arms looked brought a bright smile to her face. Their bodies were entangled, holding each other as they laid on their sides. She reached her hand up to push a few stray hairs out of the older woman's face. Lexa leaned into the touch and hummed happily. Slowly, the brunette opened her eyes, her face elated with happiness and content.

"I thought you were asleep," Clarke chuckled.

Lexa slid her hand behind Clarke's neck and crossed the short space between them to place a gentle kiss on her lover's lips. She pulled back somewhat and looked into deep ocean blue eyes that held hints of sunlight. "Meizen," she breathed.

The blonde smirked and her cheeks tinted red. Her thumb began to slowly rub the other woman's cheek. She licked her lips before speaking, "Ai laik krei raun hod in kom yu Leksa." She leaned in and stole the brunette's lips for a searing kiss.

Before things could escalate any further, a loud knock was heard on the front door. Lexa reluctantly pulled away, sighing in annoyance and rolling her eyes. Clarke laughed at the reaction. "Did that just happen?" the blonde asked, referring to the ex commander's behavior. In stead of answering, the brunette leaned in for one more kiss before rising from her bed. She walked over to the other side of her room to a dresser. Clarke gawked. Her eyes scanned her lover up and down and a strong heat shot to her core. "Leksa," she husked out.

The ex commander froze as she was opening her top drawer. Her name in the tone of voice that escaped the blonde's lips sent her entire being into overdrive. The moment was lost when an even louder knock was heard. Lexa dressed as fast as possible. She wanted to be rid of the intruder so she could have her way with her love.

When she opened the door, Lexa was surprised to see Madi standing in front of her fidgeting nervously. "Is Clarke here?" the young woman asked. The blonde appeared beside Lexa before she had the chance to answer.

"What's wrong?" Clarke asked, concern written on her face as she observed her daughter's demeanor.

"I… I have to show you two something," the young commander was growing more uncomfortable by the second.

"Why do you look like someone died?"

Madi laughed at the irony, gaining an infamous eyebrow raise from Lexa. "No one died," she started. "Kai showed me something, on the spaceship. Charlie… left something behind for us."

"Something?" Lexa asked.

"More like someone… a lot of someone's."

"What?" Clarke's face bled confusion.

Madi hesitated, contemplating. She began to chew on her lip nervously and play with her fingers. "Madi, you are Heda," Lexa interjected her thoughts. "Be confident in your decisions. Do what you feel is right. Never faulter to anyone."

The young commander straightened her back and cleared her throat. She placed her hands behind her back and composed herself. "Charlie regenerated a lot of people. There was little of them left, so it took a lot longer. Most of them are healed and ready to be awoken. So I'm coming to you two to discuss the matter."

"Who?" the brunette asked with intrigue, not even phased by the revealed secret. Clarke on the other hand, had her mouth open in shock.

"Lincoln is one of them." Now it was Lexa's turn to be shocked. "Anya is another." The ex commander's eyes glazed over with hope and she looked at Clarke. The blonde was already looking at her. As soon as she heard Anya's name she instinctively turned to her lover; ready to comfort her if needed.

"Who else?" the brunette asked, holding back her mixed emotions for the moment.

"Wells, Jasper," Madi watched Clarke closely as the names left her lips. The blonde was reeling in her thoughts, but never took her eyes off Lexa. "Finn." At the, Clarke's head snapped around to look at her daughter. The blonde was now elated, hurt, confused, angry and in disbelief. "There are more. Those are just the one's I know from your stories, Clarke."

"Show us," Lexa demanded, her stoic mask in place.


End file.
